It’s tricky being able to spot a manipulator before he finds a way to your heart and messes with your mind. I was unfortunate enough to be in a relationship with one for a long time, before I finally found the courage to break free from him and his toxic mind games.
It was a draining process. It took me some time to cope with the aftermath of breaking it off and healing my body and soul after the horrendous experience I went through with him. He changed how I saw myself afterward and made me so much more guarded. But that’s not the half of it…
Here are all the ways in which dating a manipulator completely messed with my head, even long after the break-up.
1. I blamed myself for failing to see the signs
Manipulators are masters of their craft! They hide their true self sooo well behind those seemingly honest eyes and deceptive smile! There is no way you can see through that immediately, because they just work their magic on you and you’re hooked! Thank goodness I found my way out of it in time… but I still can’t forgive myself for letting him hook me that easily. Am I that naive and trustworthy? He really messed with my mind… They are truly the worst people to invite into your life and I am so much more careful now.
2. I have lost the will to date for a while
I have become so much more guarded now and since my ex was such a lying, scheming, conniving manipulator, I don’t have the courage to open myself up to anyone right now! I barely got over him, how can I risk getting so hurt again? He turned me into the biggest cynic, though I am desperately trying to change this, for my own good! I know that there are good guys out there, who won’t try and play tricks on me and who will love me with a pure heart. But my ex has made me question everything and everyone now. I just don’t know how to trust again. And can you blame me?
3. I am letting it affect my current romantic life
I went through such a painful experience, my heart was broken, my mind was played and my body was so tired… And every time I try to get myself to open up to someone, I find myself flinching and refusing to let myself be vulnerable. I just can’t get myself into that kind of a situation again and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust anyone with my heart again. I have become insecure and protective of myself. All thanks to the guy I let in so easily… I’m not ready to make a similar mistake again.
4. I get so mad just thinking about it
The thing I hate the most about dating him is how mad I get at the thought of him. I am normally a very laid-back girl and I let bygones be bygones… but there is something about him that just makes me so angry, that I have to make myself stop thinking about him and preoccupy myself with something different. I hate how he’s messed with my head so much that he has turned me into this uneasy person that I know I’m not! But I’m not going to let him beat me. I am going to get my old self back and I will never again pay a single thought to him. He’s not going to be the end of me.
5. My confidence took a real hit
Manipulators will use all kinds of mind tricks to get to their partner. One of their favorites is ‘negging’, and it usually means they will insult their partner, only to follow it with a compliment, which will make them seek the manipulator’s approval. This is exactly what he did to me. I can finally say it and not break down. My confidence took a real hit due to his manipulative ways and I’ll never forgive him for that. I don’t recognize myself anymore, he really did a number on me. Luckily, I surround myself with amazing people, like my family and friends, and they give me the confidence boost I need and I am beyond thankful for them. Otherwise, it would be really hard going back to the girl I once was.