“Don’t give a man more than he gives you. If he respects you, respect him. If he loves you, love him. If he promotes you to the world, promote him. But if you’re a secret he mistreats, he needs to become a piece of your history.” – Tony A. Gaskins Jr.
Some might like these modern times, where you’re with someone or you’re dating a guy but you could also be single since your options are open, though you’d probably be mad if you saw him with someone else.
However, you can’t really say anything because you ‘agreed’ you both hate labels and you are both confused most of the time about what you mean to each other but it’s really just a waste of your time that promises to end in an ugly heartbreak.
Because even though you, for some reason, agreed not to call each other boyfriend and girlfriend, you didn’t agree to have no strings attached.
People have feelings whether they choose to label their relationship or not, so how do you explain to yourself your brokenness at the end of the story if you were never really his or if he never really said out loud that he was yours?
The ugly truth is: if he isn’t ready to label your relationship, then he isn’t ready to date you. And if he isn’t ready to date you, what the hell are you doing?
If you are not ready to put your heart on the line, why try anything in the first place? Stay single until you’re actually ready to give everything that one relationship requires.
If your guy is acting foggy, if he’s coming up with all sorts of excuses as to why he, “Isn’t ready for a relationship,” but keeps texting you and keeps having expectations from you, then my dear, you’re on the edge of getting trapped in a relationship without a title.
The worst part is you’re unknowingly signing up for it. By giving him boyfriend privileges while he still refuses to make you official, you’re saying you’re okay with what he does to you.
You’re okay with being confused and not knowing what to answer when someone asks you what he is to you.
All those excuses about how he feels like he’s choking when he’s in a relationship or how labeling it is so old-fashioned is just a pile of crap he’s trying to sell you.
If he isn’t ready for it, it doesn’t mean you feel the same and constantly popping up in your life but not having any intention to be upfront about what he wants is just selfish and toxic.
What he truly means when he decides not to label your relationship is that he’s not ready to commit, he wants to keep his options open, he doesn’t believe you’re the best or he thinks he deserves better than you but he’s with you until that better thing comes along.
Regardless of what it may be, you don’t have to obey. You don’t have to accept to be a part of his game.
You deserve more than to be trapped in a relationship without a title. You deserve more than to be with someone who confuses you.
You deserve someone who will show you off proudly. Someone who will know what to say when he introduces you to his friends and someone who’ll hold your hand while doing so.
You deserve someone who knows your worth and who’ll want to commit to you.
You know, someone who knows there are other boys dying to get the same chance he got.
Someone who won’t let you doubt what you mean to him, not even for a minute, and someone who’ll remind you constantly how he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.
Don’t fall into the trap of a guy who doesn’t want anything serious with you.
If you have to ask a guy, “So what are we?” the answer is probably nothing.
Darling, no title means no obligation. With no title, he can tell every other woman that he’s free and single, and he can tell you the same when you start asking for title treatment.
Let him be, someone else will come along who won’t play those games.
Don’t let yourself catch feelings and don’t give him space to treat you with disrespect while you do nothing other than treating him right.
You’ll end up attached to him and you won’t even have any idea what you got attached to because he made no promises to begin with. He thinks he dodged a bullet by choosing not to label you two.
Any person who sincerely has feelings for you will not hesitate to claim you or put a title on what you have with each other when you’re ready to establish an official relationship and have that conversation.
You won’t be a secret, a side piece, or just a fling that person wants to just mess around with.
You’ll be his priority. They would love to show you off, introduce you as their partner, give you their loyalty, make sure you know where you stand in their life and they will take care of you and your heart.
If the bond you have is strong, then the title won’t complicate anything. Everything else is just an excuse you need to walk away from.