6 señales de que no has aceptado tu ruptura (todavía)

No es fácil aceptar que la ruptura ha ocurrido de verdad, sobre todo si saliste con una persona con la que te veías para siempre.

That’s why most of us go through the phase of denial in which we decide to ignore the fact that the relationship is over for good, and we feed ourselves with the hope that something will miraculously change.

La cuestión es que puede que ni siquiera seas consciente de que estás en negación. Empieza como un mecanismo de defensa que te protege de todo el dolor que conlleva la ruptura.

That’s why you should check the signs and see if you have accepted your breakup.

1. La idea de volver a estar juntos está constantemente presente

Aunque lo negaras públicamente, si alguien te preguntara, en el fondo estás deseando arreglar las cosas con tu ex y volver a sus brazos.

You spend a lot of time contemplating how to change you ex’s mind. You write them lengthy texts explaining why you two should be together again. You do what you can to make him see you should give this another go,and that’s a pretty clear sign that you haven’t accepted your breakup.

You can’t and under no circumstances should obligar a alguien into the relationship or beg for a second chance. If he was on the same page with you, he would also reach out and a simple text saying: “Hi, how are you?” would be all the push he needs to pursue you.

2. You can’t stop stalking them on social media

You can’t bring yourself to unfriend them on social media. You are interested in every new picture and status update they make. You are trying to find the clues and read the signs. and sadly, there aren’t any.

Tener acceso a su vida a través de las redes sociales te da una falsa sensación de cercanía, y sigues sintiendo que él forma parte de tu vida.

He is not sending you encrypted messages and the longer you browse through his social media accounts the more pain you’ll be in. Don’t do that to yourself. Delete and block, and let him gradually leave your system.

3. Te centras sólo en las partes buenas de la relación

When you look back, you only see the good days, happy moments and sweet things he did and you sweep all the bad and ugly in your relationship under the carpet and refuse to get it out. It’s just too painful to deal with all of that mess, and it’s easier to see the positive sides.

Take a step back from your daydreams, and look at the reality. It wasn’t all that great. You probably spent more days crying, worrying and stressing that you weren’t happy.

Don’t make your ex into the Prince Charming he never was and admit to yourself that you deserve better.

4. Dejas tu vida en suspenso

Muchas mujeres experimentan esto cuando la relación termina. Inconscientemente se ponen a disposición de la posibilidad de que él vuelva a sus vidas.

So they pass on business or life opportunities that are in front of them They say ‘no’ without thinking twice to anyone who asks them on a date. They live in the past, replaying everything that happened in their head instead of moving ahead.

If you find yourself among some of these descriptions, it’s time to wake up. It’s time to realize that he’s gone, and you are just beginning your life.

5. Estás intentando dar celos a tu ex

One more clear sign that you haven’t fully accepted your breakup is that you still care what he thinks and how he feels.

So you post pictures and selfies in which you look hot. You post things that make him think you have somebody else. You show up with some random guy at the place you know he’ll be at, etc.

Estás intentando ponerle celoso, para que se dé cuenta de lo que ha perdido y posiblemente le haga volver.

6. Infravaloras su nueva relación

It’s unbelievably hard to grasp that your ex has moved on and started a new relationship with somebody new.

Así que intentas restar valor a su nueva relación diciéndote a ti misma que acabará pronto, que sólo lo hace para olvidarte, que te llamará cuando se canse de ella, etcétera, etcétera.

En realidad, lo único que está haciendo es enviarte un mensaje claro de que la relación entre él y tú ha terminado, y tienes que aceptarlo.

E incluso si se cansa de esa nueva persona e incluso si vuelve arrastrándose hacia ti, you don’t need someone like him in your life. The moment he decided to go after someone else is the moment he lost you for good.

¿Cómo aceptar la ruptura y seguir adelante?

The first step of accepting your breakup is to admit to yourself that you are in denial. And that’s also the trickiest part.

Secondly, you have to know that it’s going to be everything but easy and that the quickest way to heal is to embrace the pain that comes with a breakup.

Lo más importante es que necesitas espacio. Tienes que dejar de ser su amiga, bloquearle y evitarle. Ir a ningún contacto es lo mejor que puedes hacer. Al cabo de unos meses, tendrás una visión de tu relación pasada mucho mejor que la que tienes ahora.

You can’t get over somebody who is constantly present in your life. By keeping him close in any way, you are just prolonging your denial period.