Cómo superar un flechazo: 10 consejos para dejarlo ir por fin
You fantasize about them day and night, you can’t stop looking at their picture (especially that one you find the cutest), while at the same time asking yourself how you can get out of this infatuation phase. How does one get over a crush?
Enamorarse de alguien que por alguna razón está fuera de los límites puede ser una experiencia estresante y, a menudo, desemboca en una angustia aplastante.
Por lo tanto, superar al objeto de tu afecto es lo único sensato que puedes hacer (si quieres conservar la cordura y mostrar cierta consideración por tu valioso tiempo y tus nervios, ¿verdad?).
Now, I wish I could tell you that there’s some secret, magical formula that will teach you how to get over your crush in a day, but there isn’t.
From personal experience, I can tell you honestly that this is a process but it’s a WORTHWHILE one!
Lo único que tienes que hacer es leer los siguientes consejos y ponerlos en práctica en tu vida diaria. Y si eres persistente y paciente, antes de que te des cuenta tu enamoramiento no correspondido será cosa del pasado.
Ready? I’m sure as hell you are! So, let’s see:
Wondering How To Get Over A Crush? Here’s What To Do
1. Mímese!
I put this one in first place and with an exclamation mark for a reason. The reason being I can’t emphasize enough how important it is in these moments to remind yourself that you deserve the best.
Instead of thinking about why you can’t be together, and constantly daydreaming about your crush and losing your head over too many ‘what ifs’, you should focus on pampering yourself!
Deberías centrarte en sentirte mejor, especial y apreciado.
Así que disfruta de un masaje, cómprate una nueva barra de labios, date un largo baño de burbujas (¡ah!), ve a tu restaurante favorito y pide todo el maldito menú si lo deseas (y si tu presupuesto te lo permite).
Enjoy the best movies and TV shows on Netflix, buy that new pair of shoes you’ve been wanting (cuz I know you DO really want them)!
In one word, spoil yourself so much you forget that you even had a crush. If you’re still not convinced, just think about what your crush might be doing.
Do you really believe that they’re thinking of you and forgetting to enjoy their own life?
Nope. They almost certainly aren’t. So, mimarse sería la mejor venganza y sin duda deberías disfrutarla.
2. Permítete experimentar plenamente las emociones dolorosas
We often forget that allowing ourselves to fully experience painful emotions is a part of the grieving process. It’s important to understand that if we block our negative emotions and all the bad things in our life in general, over time they will become much stronger and more powerful.
So, what you need to do is allow yourself to FULLY experience all the painful emotions you’re going through at the moment. Do you feel rage? Acknowledge it.
Do you feel hurt? Then don’t pretend that you’re feeling fine.
Don’t run away from what you’re feeling right now because it might haunt you in the long run. The more you pretend that everything is okay, the more hurt you’ll feel.
Be honest with yourself and accept the fact that you’re only human – a human who is allowed to feel all the emotions they want: from blissful joy to utterly devastating sadness.
Because that’s what makes you who you are – a brave person with a big heart who is not afraid to express their feelings.
3. Deja de seguir a la persona que te gusta en TODAS tus redes sociales
“Out of sight, out of mind.” I advise reading this powerful sentence over and over again until it starts to haunt you – even in your sleep (okay, I’m kidding about that one).
¿Qué significa exactamente la frase anterior? Significa que cada objeto o persona de nuestra vida está también en nuestros pensamientos.
Y cuando él o ellos están fuera de nuestra vista, también están fuera de nuestra mente.
This principle can be implemented in any area of our life, so it’s a useful tip for when it comes to learning how to get over a crush.
All you need to do is unfollow or unfriend your crush on all of your social media accounts (Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat – all of them) because unfriending or unfollowing them will keep them out of your sight and, therefore, out of your mind!
Yup. It’s as simple as that. But, it’s important to understand that this is a process!
For example, if you are used to visiting their social media profiles approximately 100 times per day, you cannot expect that once you stop, you won’t have a single urge to start visiting their profile again. You will, but you should not do it.
El impulso de acosarles en las redes sociales seguirá siendo fuerte durante unos días, y si resistes la tentación, ¡te salvarás!
Véase también: Cómo dejar de pensar en alguien: 15 pasos para quitártelo de la cabeza
4. Aumenta tu amor propio
When we’re crushing on someone, we’re totally, almost irreversibly infatuated with them.
Pensamos en ellos todo el tiempo, imaginamos todos los posibles resultados (si decidimos hacer algo al respecto) y esperamos que se fijen en nosotros y sientan lo mismo por nosotros.
However, in the majority of cases, we realize that there’s no point in doing anything because, for some reason (that is only known to you), you know that you will never be with them and all this is just an impressive illusion.
Con todo esto, a menudo empezamos a descuidarnos a nosotros mismos. Empezamos a sentirnos no deseados o no lo suficientemente buenos (o ambas cosas).
Al centrarnos únicamente en este enamoramiento no correspondido, nos olvidamos de centrarnos en todas las cosas buenas de nuestra vida y de nosotros mismos que tenemos delante de nuestras narices.
Lo único capaz de romper este círculo vicioso es amor propio.
Para aumentar tu amor propio, acuérdate de la familia y los amigos que te quieren, de todos tus logros, de lo hermosa y fuerte que eres, de la inspiración que eres para los demás.
Autocuidado = ¡autoestima!
Si trabajas para convertirte en tu mejor yo, y si cuidas de tu bienestar, encontrarás un resquicio de esperanza en todo esto. ¡Conseguirás superar tu enamoramiento con el poder de tu mentalidad positiva!
5. Háblalo con un familiar o amigo(s) íntimo(s)
Como ya se ha dicho, evitar experimentar emociones dolorosas puede ser muy contraproducente, así que háblalo todo con un familiar, tu mejor amigo o un amigo cercano.
Keeping all those unrequited feelings inside you is not good for your mental health because over time those feelings could pile up and cause an “obstruction” that can only be fixed with the help of professionals.
If your family lives far away from you and if your friends are not available, another option is talking it out with a co-worker (unless they’re your crush, of course). Without much thought, just tell them how you feel about all this and let your emotions guide you.
Don’t try to sanitize your words and don’t pretend like this is not a big deal, that you’re totally over it and that all you want is to let them know that. Be honest with them, and most importantly, be honest with yourself.
La verdad es el primer paso hacia la curación.
6. O escribe tus pensamientos y sentimientos
Not all of us are comfortable talking about their feelings with other people (especially when it comes to such delicate things like a crush), and if you’re one of them, don’t worry, because there is an alternative!
If you’re an introvert like me, you’ll probably value the other option, which is writing instead of talking.
So, take a sheet of paper and write down your thoughts and feelings, starting with why you like your crush, why you can’t be together, and how you feel about all that.
It’s advisable that you make this a routine (at least, for the time being), so you should seriously think about starting a ‘crush journal’ where you can write things regarding this one specific matter.
Another important part of writing / journaling is letting it go! The reason why you’re writing all those things is because you need to get rid of them.
Instead of talking, you’re putting your thoughts and feelings on a sheet of paper for the sole purpose of letting them go!
Si crees que el simple hecho de escribir tus sentimientos no te está ayudando realmente, te sugiero que tritures el papel o lo quemes, ya que está demostrado que este método proporciona una sensación de alivio y cierre.
So, write everything down on paper and then let it go – let all your feelings go. Let them vanish into a thin air!
7. Exprésate con actividades que te hagan feliz
If you’re wondering how to get over a crush, my answer to you is: Exprésate! Do things that make you happy! It’s as simple as that.
But, I understand. It’s simple in theory, but in practice it’s a totally different thing.
I understand that the only activity that’s on your mind right now is thinking about your crush (if that can even be categorized as an activity), but for your own sake, you need to open your eyes and start doing things instead of thinking about doing things.
I know that this is easier said than done, but trust me, after some time you’ll be grateful you did it. So, find a new hobby: dance, sing, draw, go for a walk, play games (if you’re a gamer girl), or try writing a short story or a poem.
Create, create, create…
You don’t even have to be good at these things. Just because you don’t have Adele’s voice, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t sing for your own amusement. Let me tell you something.
Siempre me ha resultado muy relajante y útil dibujar arte abstracto. Dibujo líneas, círculos, formas interesantes y extrañas, y mientras lo hago apago mi cerebro y dejo que mis emociones guíen mi mano.
I can’t express how rejuvenating this is, so if you haven’t tried it, now is the right time to do so!
8. Deja de idealizar a la persona que te gusta.
Again, I’ve put an exclamation mark for a reason. You see, there’s one thing about crushes that is extremely poisoning for our brain and that is the idealization part.
When we have a crush, we basically create a perfect picture of them in our brains and that picture is usually fake. Most of the time, we don’t even know much about our crush, but we assume things and we see things the way we want.
Idealizamos nuestro enamoramiento. Al hacerlo, nos impedimos ver la realidad en su conjunto, lo que nos impide superarlos y por fin seguir adelante.
To stop idealizing someone means starting to see things as they are – and that’s exactly what you need to do! So, ask yourself about what you saw in your crush in the first place, think about it for some time and ask yourself again whether it is really true.
Have you imagined your crush as the perfect man/woman for you because they have a set of skills and qualities others don’t have? Do you think that they are the only person in the world you could be happy with?
If yes, think again. First of all, no one is perfect in this world, so neither is your crush. Perfection doesn’t exist.
Tu enamorado no es más que un ser humano al que idealizaste y por eso olvidaste prestar atención también a sus defectos.
They are not the source of your happiness and you shouldn’t see them or treat them as such. It’s time to be realistic and admit to yourself that you’re probably not meant to be and that the sooner you move on, the better.
9. Conocer gente nueva
Cuando estaba superando mi enamoramiento, odiaba esta. Conocer gente nueva. Seriously? What does that even mean? Is meeting new people really supposed to help me forget that one person I’m trying to forget? Hmm…
The main reason why I was confused about this one was because I didn’t really understand it at first.
Pensaba que conocer gente nueva significaba que tenía que empezar a salir de nuevo y buscando un nuevo flechazo (sí) y luego el siguiente flechazo, y así sucesivamente hasta que todas las personas equivocadas se amontonaron en mi vida.
Luckily, this is not what it’s about (unless you’re ready and then it could be). Meeting new people doesn’t mean looking for a new crush, but simply hanging out with other, different, new people!
Talking to new people, doing fun things with new people (that doesn’t necessarily involve sex), talking about your life history and funny childhood moments while drinking your favorite alcoholic beverages…
El objetivo de conocer gente nueva no es sustituir a la persona que te gusta por otra, sino simplemente socializar, intercambiar sonrisas y disfrutar de los momentos, porque cuanto más disfrutes, más cerca estarás de superar al objeto de tu deseo.
Véase también: 5 cosas que debes recordar antes de volver a salir con alguien
10. Acudir a un terapeuta o consejero
Te sugiero que primero pruebes todos los métodos anteriores y luego, pasado un tiempo, si crees que las cosas no mejoran, intentes acudir a un terapeuta o consejero, ¡porque este método alternativo podría ayudarte!
If you’ve never visited a therapist or counselor, this might be the right thing to do! After all, there’s a first time for everything and this is not an exception.
Hay muchos psicólogos clínicos especializados en relaciones de pareja y lo único que tienes que hacer es encontrar el adecuado para ti.
Tras escucharle atentamente, le facilitarán todos los pasos necesarios y le ayudarán a comprender mejor toda la situación.
They will give you valuable advice on how to get over a crush because they’re trained to, so there’s no need to be skeptical and to think that they won’t be able to help you.
They help lots of people like you and me, so I’m sure they’ll be able to do the same for you! All you need is to believe (which is sometimes the hardest part of all).
After you’ve done all this, there’s only one thing left to do:
Repítete a ti mismo: ¡Puedo hacerlo!
Para tener éxito en algo, tienes que creer que puedes hacerlo y que lo harás. Si piensas en positivo, obtendrás resultados positivos.
“What you think, you create. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you become.”
Tu mente es la herramienta más poderosa que tienes a tu disposición, así que úsala sabiamente. Si piensas en positivo, ¡lograrás superar tu enamoramiento!
Véase también: ¿Cuánto dura un enamoramiento? Y 10 maneras de superarlo con éxito
