8 errores estúpidos que cometen la mayoría de las chicas durante y después del periodo de no contacto

Seguro que ya has oído hablar del periodo de no contacto.

Básicamente, cortas todos los lazos con tu ex durante 30 días (o en casos más radicales, 3 meses) después de la ruptura para que sienta tu ausencia, y se dé cuenta de que te echa de menos y te quiere de vuelta.

Suena perfecto, ¿verdad? Bueno, hay algunas cosas que la mayoría de las chicas hacen mal durante y después de este periodo, y aquí tienes 8 de ellas.

Remember: It’s up to you to learn from other people’s mistakes and not repeat them.

1. Hacer que todo gire en torno a tu ex

Say this out loud as many times as you need: This no contact period is not about my ex, it’s about me.

Sí, uno de sus propósitos podría ser intentar tráelo de vueltapero el objetivo principal es hacer todo lo posible por curarme y arreglar mi corazón roto.

Lamentablemente, no muchas chicas lo saben. Así que, en lugar de utilizar estos 30 días como una oportunidad para recuperarse y, al menos, intentar seguir adelante con sus vidas, hacen que todo gire en torno a sus ex.

Estas chicas literalmente ponen su vida en espera y pasan todo este periodo esperando a que él vuelva.

They focus so much on proving him a point and showing him that they can make it perfectly fine without him that they don’t actually move an inch from the exact place he left them.

So, what is the point of it all? If you do the no contact period this way, you haven’t accomplished anything.

It’s like you just spent another month unhappily dating this guy.

2. Sólo cortar la comunicación

One of the most common mistakes almost every girl makes during the no contact period is understanding the words “no contact” too literally.

You see, this doesn’t mean that you should only stop texting, calling, or talking to this guy in person.

De hecho, el no contacto es mucho más que cortar las líneas de comunicación con tu ex.

It’s not going to the places you know you might encounter him (not even just to look at him from a safe distance), not talking to your friends about him, not asking questions about his life.

Y lo que es más importante, significa no acosarle cibernéticamente ni preguntarse constantemente ¿Me echa de menos cuando no hay contacto??

Sí, has oído bien. Si quieres hacerlo bien, no puedes escribir su nombre cien veces al día en la barra de búsqueda.

You can’t scroll through his stories, friends lists, photos, or status updates using a fake profile, and you can’t spend nights rereading your old conversations.

Because if you do so, you’re just pretending that you’re going no contact when in fact you’re still obsessed with him.

All of your effort is in vain if you kick this guy out of your life physically but don’t try to do the same when it comes to your inner self.

Si él está fuera de tu vida, haz lo posible por echarlo también de tu cabeza y de tu corazón durante este periodo, y a ver qué pasa.

3. Ponerle celoso

El periodo de no contacto no es una oportunidad para que te lances a una nueva relación.

Of course, I’m not saying that you’re not allowed to start dating someone new, but you have to actually like this guy to start something with him.

He shouldn’t serve as a tool to pon celosa a tu ex.

Trust me when I tell you this: Rebound relationships never brought any good to anyone and they certainly won’t help you repair your broken heart.

In fact, a situationship like this will only make you even more miserable. And that’s the last thing you need at this point.

Besides, you don’t want to be the bad guy here and throw an innocent man directly into your personal drama.

Nobody deserves to be a puppet you’ll only take advantage of until you get what you want from your true love. That is not cool and it certainly isn’t fair.

Después de todo, si esperas recuperar a tu ex cuando acabe este mes, será mucho más difícil si se da cuenta de que has estado saliendo con alguien nuevo mientras tanto.

¿Cómo puede confiar en tu amor si has conseguido superarlo y enamorarte de nuevo en tan poco tiempo?

4. Retroceder a la persona que solías ser

Como ya he dicho, el periodo de no contacto es (o al menos debería ser) todo sobre ti.

It’s about turning yourself into the best possible woman you can become, working on yourself, and taking the time to reconsider your relationship and your overall dating and relationship behavior patterns.

Por eso, una de las peores cosas que puedes hacer es volver a ser el de antes en el momento en que el reloj marque la medianoche y salga el sol del día 31.

No, I’m not telling you to change yourself completely and become someone else during this month.

I’m just begging you not to repeat the same mistakes regarding your ex.

I won’t lie to you. There is a possibility of this man no volver a ti.

However, just because you managed to stay out of his life for an entire month, it doesn’t mean you should stalk him after that period is over.

5. 5. Esperar resultados inmediatos

Another mistake most girls sadly fail to avoid lies in their lack of patience. You can’t expect results right away, as much as you want them.

No, you won’t wake up the day after the no contact period is over and magically forget that your ex ever existed.

He won’t turn up uninvited, knocking on your door on the 31st day.

Things simply don’t work like that. However, just because miracles you hope for don’t happen right away, it doesn’t mean that results will never come.

So, if you still feel like you can’t live with this guy after this period is over, you can then try to reach out to him.

Puedes esforzarte en establecer algún tipo de comunicación con él o incluso decirle directamente que quieres otra oportunidad.

Sin embargo, todo esto debe ocurrir de la forma más espontánea posible. Además, es un proceso que lleva tiempo.

You can’t just call him out of the blue, asking to volver juntosa menos que quieras que te vea como una completa lunática.

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6. Caer en la desesperación

Esto también es algo que casi todas las chicas hacen después del periodo de no contacto: caer en la desesperación porque no ha pasado nada.

Even if your ex doesn’t contact you, even if he doesn’t accept your attempts to get back into his life, it is no es el fin del mundo.

It is not a green light for you to get all depressed and convince yourself that you’ll never find someone to love and who’ll love you back.

No es una señal de que debas dejar que el dolor se apodere de ti o de que debas renunciar por completo a tu futuro sentimental.

Yes, the fact that he obviously doesn’t want to get back together sucks. And it hurts like hell.

Therefore, you’re allowed to grieve for some time. However, stop looking at it as the biggest disaster that could strike you.

Instead, see it as a valuable lesson. There are times when you do everything right and play by the book yet still don’t get the result you wanted.

And that is all part of life. It’s not fair, I know, but you’ll just have to find a way to deal with it.

Just remember that you made it without this guy for an entire month, so you’ll without doubt succeed and keep on living without him from this day on.

7. Volver a los números anteriores

Sin embargo, si el periodo de no contacto funciona out for the best and you manage to get your ex boyfriend back, don’t ruin this second chance you two got by going back to your old problems.

Of course, you shouldn’t ignore them and expect them to solve themselves, but please, don’t make it the centre of your relationship.

Don’t see this reconciliation as a chance to nag this guy about every little thing he’s ever done to you.

Lo mejor sería que lo solucionarais todo desde el principio.

Una vez que ambos estéis de acuerdo en que podéis y queréis reconstruir vuestra relación, se acabaron el resentimiento y los rencores.

Leave the past in the past, where it belongs, and don’t let it ruin your present and future.

You can’t change what happened, so why burden both you and your boyfriend with it?

Otherwise, don’t expect a different outcome than the last time.

If you keep on bringing up the past instead of focusing on how to make things better this time round, you’ll be just dragging both of you back into this endless circle of drama, and it’ll be just a matter of time before you split ways once more.

Pero esta vez, será para siempre.

8. Mantener la amistad

You still have strong romantic feelings about this guy, there’s no doubt about that.

Aunque seguir siendo amigo de tu ex is a great thing, it’s simply not possible in this scenario.

Don’t use friendship as an excuse to stay close to him.

Don’t lead yourself on and waste more of your precious time, waiting for something that will never come.

Besides, you shouldn’t settle for crumbs of this man’s love and attention when you very well know it that he can’t give you his heart and the type of love you want from him.

Why would you even think of torturing yourself and going through this charade, when it’s painfully obvious that you’ll just end up more heartbroken than before?

Even if he asks you to be friends, don’t pretend to be indifferent and accept his proposal.

Don’t worry, there is absolutely nothing desperate in coming clean about your emotions and honestly telling this guy that you two can’t be friends.