Mi novio no quiere cortar lazos con su ex: 16 consejos útiles

Lo último que quiere cualquier mujer es estar enamorada de un hombre que aún siente algo por su antigua amante. Por desgracia, eso ocurre.

Many women end up in such a situationship and by the time they realize it, it’s already too late because they have already developed feelings for that guy.

Now, it’s time to make some confessions. I was in the ‘my boyfriend won’t cut ties with his ex’ kind of relationship once and it was heartbreaking. That’s why I understand all of you who are or were going through the same hell.

Fortunately, I have managed to get out of that hell and today, that man is my fiance. By following these tips below, you’ll manage to get out of it too.

Le mostré a mi novio lo mucho que me duele su contacto con su ex, y eso le hizo cortarlo. At that moment, he chose me and proved to me that I’m the only one for him. Y espero que los suyos hagan lo mismo.

My Boyfriend Won’t Cut Ties With His Ex: 16 Tips To Deal With It

Being in this kind of situation is really a big deal. You simply don’t know what to think about it and what to do. Luckily for you, I’m here to help you. Follow these tips below and you’ll make your man cut ties with his ex-girlfriend.

1. En primer lugar, cálmate

This is the first and most important step. Calm down and don’t act in the heat of the moment. Otherwise, you’ll only make a huge mistake that you’ll regret in the end.

Tómate un tiempo para ti y piénsalo. Think about the reasons your boyfriend won’t cut ties with his ex and think about your relationship.

If you really love your man, you’ll have patience and try to be understanding. I know it can really be frustrating but if he says they’re just friends, there is not much you can do about it.

2. Don’t let it affect your self-esteem

Jealousy can seriously damage your self-esteem. If you start suspecting your man is seeing or has feelings for another woman, you’ll immediately think that it’s because of you and it’ll damage your confidence.

That is something you shouldn’t allow, no matter what. Having a good self-esteem will protect you from so many bad things in life and it’ll also push you to accomplish everything you ever dreamed about.

If you lose it, you’ll be a great target for other people to hurt you. Show his ex that you’re confident about yourself, your man and your love. Make it clear that you’re standing behind him, no matter what and that your love is so strong that nothing and none can ruin it.

Relacionado: 9 formas en que los celos destruyen tu relación

3. Proteja su salud emocional y mental

I know it’s not easy to go through this but you need to pay attention to your general well-being. Si sigues obsesionándote con ello, tu salud emocional y mental quedará completamente arruinada.

Dale tiempo e intenta confiar en tu hombre. Si te dice que no pasa nada entre él y su ex novia, confía en su palabra. El tiempo dirá si ha sido realmente sincero contigo o no.

4. Háblalo con tus amigos comunes

You can’t and shouldn’t go through this all alone. You should form a support group or talk to a person you’ll be able to share your feelings and fears with.

Puede ser un amigo común o un familiar. Si acudes a un amigo común, deberías pedirle su opinión sobre tu situación porque probablemente sepa algo más sobre la relación anterior de tu hombre.

Deja que las personas cercanas te ayuden. Don’t keep such painful things to yourself because, sooner or later, it’ll all come out on the surface, explode and have terrible consequences.

5. ¿Cómo era su relación?

This is very important. And the answer to this question will definitely reveal whether the fact your boyfriend didn’t cut ties with his ex is a red flag or not.

If they were in a serious, lasting relationship and they broke up only a while ago, it’s possible that they still have feelings for each other. Even if they think they don’t, they’ll always remind each other of those memories they had together and that may awaken the old flame.

If their relationship was very short, if they didn’t even bond as romantic lovers, they probably decided it’s better for them to be friends. In this case, you really have nothing to worry about.

6. Don’t let your insecurities make you misunderstand things

Insecurities, insecurities… Frankly, we all have them and we all hate them from our gut. They make you see some things that don’t exist in reality.

Si tienes baja autoestima, esto puede hacerte pensar que tu el hombre te dejará por otra. That’s why it’s no wonder you’re jealous of his ex he still didn’t cut ties with.

That’s why you need to find a way to silencia tus inseguridades. Demuéstrales a ellos, a ti mismo y a todos los demás que vuestro amor es mucho más grande que vuestras inseguridades y que todo lo demás que se interpone en vuestra relación.

7. ¿De qué habla con su ex novia?

¿Sabes qué tipo de relación tienen ahora mismo tu novio y su ex? ¿De qué hablan?

Si hablan de su relación o de cosas por las que han pasado juntos, sin duda hay algo sospechoso.

En cambio, si hablan de cosas importantes o simplemente como amigos, puedes estar tranquilo porque probablemente no pase nada.

8. Intentar comprender su amistad

I know it’s not very common but there are cases where two partners decide to stay friends when they end their romantic relationship. Puede sonar incómodo, pero tal vez tu novio y su ex son realmente amigos and that’s the reason they’re still in contact.

Of course, they probably aren’t best friends and they don’t speak 24/7, but they may be friends that text or speak every now and then. Si tu hombre dice que es así entre ellos, deberías creerle.

It’s hard to understand and even more difficult to accept, but you’ll need to do it if you want to maintain your relationship.

9. Intenta ser y mantenerte realista

Sé que es difícil porque tus sentimientos están en medio de todo. Sin embargo, tienes que intentar mantener una perspectiva realista y ver las cosas como son realmente.

You love your man and, of course, you’re jealous because he’s still in contact with his ex. However, don’t allow your jealousy to blind you and make you do things that you will only regret later.

By keeping a realistic perspective, you’ll also keep your relationship alive. If you start imagining things that aren’t there, you’ll put your relationship in serious danger.

10. Nunca le acuses de engaño sin una prueba legítima

If your boyfriend talks with his ex-girlfriend only when they find themselves at the same place, he’s probably doing it out of courtesy. However, if they talk and text almost every day, then there is probably something going on between them. Tu hombre podría volver con su ex.

But, even if that’s true, even if they speak very often, you still can’t accuse him of anything because you don’t have any proof. He isn’t doing anything behind your back, he’s only talking with her.

Si usted acusarle de hacer trampas only because he didn’t cut ties with his ex-girlfriend, that may hurt him deeply. So, don’t take any serious steps if you don’t have strong proof for it.

11. Don’t let it destroy your relationship

This can be very difficult to cope with, especially if you’re in a relación a distancia. Tu pareja está lejos de ti y esas dudas que tienes te están matando poco a poco cada día y sientes que no puedes hacer absolutamente nada al respecto.

If you allow those doubts to harm your relationship, it will only mean that you never sincerely loved your man in the first place and that your relationship isn’t strong enough to survive it.

When two people love each other, they trust one another despite everyone and everything else. They don’t ignore their issues but they always  try to find a way to deal with them in a healthy way.

12. Darle el beneficio de la duda

If you don’t have a strong reason to doubt the fidelity of your man, give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, you’re still with him despite the fact he didn’t cut ties with su ex-mujer/novia, y eso demuestra que todavía confías en él de alguna manera.

Sé comprensiva, ten paciencia y demuéstrale a tu hombre que confías plenamente en él. However, let him also know that if he betrays that trust, he’ll lose you forever.

13. NUNCA le des ultimátums

Esto es algo que mucha gente hace en una relación romántica. Dar ultimátums es uno de los errores más comunes en las relaciones que conducen a una ruptura definitiva.

Cuando amas de verdad a alguien, darle un ultimátum para que elija entre tú y otra persona es lo último que debes hacer. Hay muchas otras formas de resolver los problemas entre tu pareja y tú que dando un ultimátum.

Tu ultimátum puede hacer que se enfade y que elija a la otra persona para fastidiarte. Ese ultimátum sólo puede costarle perder al hombre que ama.

14. Husmear en sus mensajes de texto

I’m not generally up for snooping through someone’s private things, however, when you’re in this kind of ‘my boyfriend won’t cut ties with his ex’ situation, you should check his phone.

Revisa su WhatsApp, Snapchat, Facebook y otras redes sociales. Quizá la prueba de su infidelidad te esté esperando en su teléfono. Si encuentras algún mensaje de texto extraño entre él y su ex novia o pruebas de que se hacían sexting, deberías romper con él cuanto antes.

However, be very careful because he shouldn’t catch you snooping through his phone. He’ll know then that tienes problemas de confianza y eso puede dañar vuestra relación.

15. ¿Tiene miedo de perderte?

Did he ever tell or show you that he’s afraid of losing you? If he has, you have nothing to worry about because your man obviously loves you and his relationship with his ex-girlfriend is simply platonic.

Por otro lado, si nunca te lo ha demostrado, deberías recordarle cómo sería su vida si te perdiera. Deberías darle una razón para pensar en perderte y tal vez eso lo asuste.

He’s probably used to you and he thinks you won’t ever leave him. However, once you show him that it’s a possibility if he keeps disrespecting you by talking with his ex, he’ll show you whether he’s miedo de perderte o no.

16. Saber cuándo dejar ir y romper

Ask yourself a simple question; ‘Does he really love me?’. If you aren’t 100% sure about the way your man feels about you, it’s a huge red flag that he doesn’t really love you.

Those kinds of trust issues can’t be tolerated in a relación sana. It’s better to break up than to keep smothering both of you with doubts.

And if you find a clear sign that you’re dating a cheater, you should immediately leave him. Actually, the first time you run into proof that he’s being unfaithful to you, you should end your relationship.

Perdonándole y permaneciendo en esa relación sólo conseguirás seguir rompiendo tu propio corazón. Sometimes, going away and moving on is the hardest thing to do. But it’s also the only choice you have.

¿Está bien que la pareja siga hablando con su ex?

It’s okay but under specific circumstances. If their relationship was long ago and if it wasn’t serious or didn’t last for too long, they probably didn’t even bond like lovers but more like friends and in that situation, it is okay.

On the other hand, if they have just ended their relationship and if it was something serious, then it’s not okay for them to stay friends or to stay in contact. It’ll bother their new partners for sure.

If their new girlfriend/boyfriend doesn’t agree with it, they should immediately end contact with their ex. Deben hacerlo por el amor y el respeto que sienten por su nueva pareja.

Of course, if they still have feelings for their former lover, then it’s a different story. They shouldn’t even engage in a new relationship if sienten algo por su ex.

¿Cómo saber si sigue queriendo a su ex?

If your boyfriend still talks with his ex, it doesn’t have to mean he’s still in love with her, too. You may consider it as a red flag but it’s definitely not proof that he still has feelings for her.

Sin embargo, si manifiesta algunos otros signos como, por ejemplo, mencionarla a ella y los recuerdos que tienen con demasiada frecuencia, visitar sus redes sociales y mostrar interés por su vida amorosa, entonces deberías preocuparte.

In the beginning, you may not notice it but the truth is, if your man hasn’t moved on from his past relationship, you’ll figure it out sooner or later. You’ll never be able to break all of his walls and get too near to him.

You’ll realize that you aren’t the only lady in his thoughts and his heart. Maybe you’ll try to deny it at first but the sooner you accept it, the sooner you’ll be able to find a solution that will protect your heart from being broken.

¿Es una señal de alarma que un chico siga hablando con su ex?

If they speak only from time to time and on special occasions, then it’s clearly not a bandera roja para tu relación. However, if they ended their relationship not so long ago and they still text and talk very often, it’s a clear sign something is happening between them.

Tal vez tu novio realmente ve a su ex sólo como una amiga, pero tal vez ella lo ve a través de ojos completamente diferentes. In the end, it’s not so common for guys to stay such great friends with their exes.

La verdad es que siempre quedarán algunos sentimientos. Una de las partes siempre deseará en secreto volver con su ex.

If they were dating a long time ago and their relationship didn’t last for too much, then they may have really stayed good friends. However, my advice to you is to pay attention to what they talk about and keep your man at a safe distance.

Para terminar

All I have to say to you in the end is good luck. Being in the ‘my boyfriend won’t cut ties with his ex’ kind of relationship is heart wrenching.

You can’t stop questioning him, your relationship… absolutely everything all the time and I know how overwhelming that can be.

However, I’m 100% on your side. Your boyfriend needs to leave his previous relationship in the past. Y lo que es más importante, tiene que demostrarte que te elige a ti antes que a cualquier otra mujer. Esa será la mayor prueba de amor por su parte.

But, you need to tell him that. Remember, he’s just a human being, he can’t read your mind. Let him know how hurt you are about the fact he still hasn’t cut ties with his ex and I’m sure it’ll change everything. Once again, good luck and have faith in your love.