5 problemas para encontrar al "elegido" en el mundo moderno

For many, finding a soulmate in today’s era seems like a dream which will never turn into reality. It’s like we’ve all accepted the fact that we’re heading nowhere.

Nevertheless, we rarely question why. What are the problems of finding “the one” in the modern world? Well, we’ve got the answers.

1. El amor equivale al apego

In the modern dating world, there is no such thing as love. At least, it doesn’t exist in the form you’re familiar with.

On the contrary, you’re automatically accused of being pathetic if you’re looking for something which used to be a bare minimum.

If you’re romantic, you’re cheesy and if you want attention, you’re needy.

I won’t lie to you: comportamiento demasiado pegajoso has never been attractive. However, you’re not needy for expecting a good morning text or for wanting to see your boyfriend a few times a week.

You’re not pathetic for telling him how much he means to you and you’re not cheesy for asking him to listen to a love song that reminds you of him.

However, the truth is that in modern dating, you’re not allowed to do any of these things unless you want to be called old fashioned.

Entonces, ¿cómo se puede crear un vínculo con un hombre si todas estas cosas están prohibidas?

2. La infidelidad se ha normalizado

Otro gran problema de las citas modernas, que impide encontrar a la persona adecuada, es que, lamentablemente, la fidelidad ya no se valora como antes.

In fact, the concept of cheating has changed so much that at the end of the day, you simply can’t tell what is considered acceptable behavior.

La cuestión es que la gente ya no poner una etiqueta a sus relaciones. Ya nadie es exclusivo, lo que le da derecho a ver a varias personas al mismo tiempo.

So, when you’re not in a relationship and when you’re just dating, you’re allowed to date other people as well.

You can be in touch with a guy for a while, but if he doesn’t call you his girlfriend (which he probably won’t) you can’t accuse him of cheating if you catch him texting or even sleeping with someone else.

Sounds like a real bummer, right? Well, technically, you’re also allowed to keep on doing the same things, but in this kind of arrangement, is it even possible to find true love? I think not.

3. Todo el mundo tiene fobia al compromiso

I’m here to ask a crucial question: have we all really become so scared of commitment or has fobia al compromiso convertirse en algo?

¿Realmente nos hemos vuelto todos inaccesibles emocionalmente o es que la gente tiene miedo de decir que busca un verdadero romance porque esperan que se les considere ingenuos por creer en esas cosas?

Whatever the answer is, the bottom line is the same: everywhere you look, you’ll bump into commitment phobes.

People who don’t have the desire to truly connect with someone or to build real relationships.

Sí, vivir el momento es genial. Al fin y al cabo, nunca se sabe lo que nos deparará el mañana, así que es mejor disfrutar de cada aliento como si fuera el último.

However, when you’re trapped in the middle of a culture that doesn’t believe in giving your entire self to another being and that doesn’t believe in building a future as a part of a couple, finding the one often seems like mission impossible.

4. Sus expectativas se reducen

Te guste admitirlo o no, en el mundo moderno de las citas, tus expectativas disminuyen constantemente.

Even if you’re not involved in a modern relationship, you can’t help but be affected by what you see in other people’s lives.

De hecho, todo el mundo te acusa de ser demasiado exigente sólo porque tienes unas normas básicas.

People look at you like you’re a lunatic if you expect certain things that used to be normal, such as fidelity, undivided attention, and most importantly unconditional love.

After some time,, without even noticing it, you start to settle for less. You adapt to the rest of the world and you adopt “the new normal”.

5. La cultura de las citas se ha convertido en un campo de juego

Last but not least, when you’re in the grupo de citas, the main problem you’ll encounter is the fact that dating culture has actually become similar to a children’s playing field.

Todo gira en torno a juegos mentales inmaduros a los que todo el mundo juega. Básicamente, las citas se han convertido en una competición. La cuestión principal es quién engañará a quién.

You’re expected to know the drill even though there’s no manual on how you should behave properly.

Así que la mayor parte del tiempo, en lugar de centrarte en construir una relación potencial, tienes que dominar el arte de jugar a estos juegos de citas, te guste o no.

Instead of enjoying your love life, you’re pressured into dissecting other people’s words and actions.

Tienes que hacer todo lo posible para leer a través de sus señales contradictorias y llegar al fondo de sus intenciones.

To put things simply: the trick is to outsmart the other person. It’s almost as if you are working against each other, instead of being united towards your common goal of eventually being happy.