5 problemi nel trovare "quello giusto" nel mondo moderno

For many, finding a soulmate in today’s era seems like a dream which will never turn into reality. It’s like we’ve all accepted the fact that we’re heading nowhere.

Nevertheless, we rarely question why. What are the problems of finding “the one” in the modern world? Well, we’ve got the answers.

1. Amore uguale appiccicosità

In the modern dating world, there is no such thing as love. At least, it doesn’t exist in the form you’re familiar with.

On the contrary, you’re automatically accused of being pathetic if you’re looking for something which used to be a bare minimum.

If you’re romantic, you’re cheesy and if you want attention, you’re needy.

I won’t lie to you: comportamento eccessivamente appiccicoso has never been attractive. However, you’re not needy for expecting a good morning text or for wanting to see your boyfriend a few times a week.

You’re not pathetic for telling him how much he means to you and you’re not cheesy for asking him to listen to a love song that reminds you of him.

However, the truth is that in modern dating, you’re not allowed to do any of these things unless you want to be called old fashioned.

Quindi, come si può creare un legame con un uomo se tutte queste cose sono off-limits?

2. L'infedeltà si è normalizzata

Un altro enorme problema degli appuntamenti moderni, che impedisce di trovare la persona giusta, è che purtroppo la fedeltà non è più apprezzata come un tempo.

In fact, the concept of cheating has changed so much that at the end of the day, you simply can’t tell what is considered acceptable behavior.

Il problema è che le persone non etichettare le loro relazioni. Nessuno ha più l'esclusiva, il che gli dà il diritto di vedere più persone contemporaneamente.

So, when you’re not in a relationship and when you’re just dating, you’re allowed to date other people as well.

You can be in touch with a guy for a while, but if he doesn’t call you his girlfriend (which he probably won’t) you can’t accuse him of cheating if you catch him texting or even sleeping with someone else.

Sounds like a real bummer, right? Well, technically, you’re also allowed to keep on doing the same things, but in this kind of arrangement, is it even possible to find true love? I think not.

3. Tutti hanno la fobia di impegnarsi

I’m here to ask a crucial question: have we all really become so scared of commitment or has fobia dell'impegno diventare una cosa?

Siamo davvero diventati tutti emotivamente indisponibili o le persone hanno paura di dire che sono alla ricerca di una vera storia d'amore perché si aspettano di essere percepite come ingenue per aver creduto in queste cose?

Whatever the answer is, the bottom line is the same: everywhere you look, you’ll bump into commitment phobes.

People who don’t have the desire to truly connect with someone or to build real relationships.

Sì, vivere il momento è fantastico. Dopo tutto, non si può mai sapere cosa ci riserverà il domani, quindi è meglio godersi ogni respiro come se fosse l'ultimo.

However, when you’re trapped in the middle of a culture that doesn’t believe in giving your entire self to another being and that doesn’t believe in building a future as a part of a couple, finding the one often seems like mission impossible.

4. Le vostre aspettative sono diminuite

Che vi piaccia o meno ammetterlo, nel mondo moderno degli appuntamenti le vostre aspettative si riducono costantemente.

Even if you’re not involved in a modern relationship, you can’t help but be affected by what you see in other people’s lives.

In effetti, tutti vi accusano di essere troppo esigenti solo perché avete degli standard di base.

People look at you like you’re a lunatic if you expect certain things that used to be normal, such as fidelity, undivided attention, and most importantly unconditional love.

After some time,, without even noticing it, you start to settle for less. You adapt to the rest of the world and you adopt “the new normal”.

5. La cultura degli incontri è diventata un campo di gioco

Last but not least, when you’re in the piscina per incontri, the main problem you’ll encounter is the fact that dating culture has actually become similar to a children’s playing field.

Tutto ruota intorno ai giochi mentali immaturi che tutti fanno. In pratica, gli appuntamenti si sono trasformati in una competizione. La domanda principale è chi ingannerà chi.

You’re expected to know the drill even though there’s no manual on how you should behave properly.

Quindi, per la maggior parte del tempo, invece di concentrarvi sulla costruzione di una potenziale relazione, dovete padroneggiare l'arte di giocare a questi giochi di appuntamenti, che vi piaccia o no.

Instead of enjoying your love life, you’re pressured into dissecting other people’s words and actions.

Dovete fare del vostro meglio per leggere attraverso i loro segnali contrastanti e andare a fondo delle loro intenzioni.

To put things simply: the trick is to outsmart the other person. It’s almost as if you are working against each other, instead of being united towards your common goal of eventually being happy.