20 señales de que está dolido tras la ruptura (y qué hacer)
Breakups bring heartbreak or relief, sometimes both at the same time. You might part ways on friendly terms or your relationship might end in a vicious fight – whatever the reason or the way you broke up, it’s never easy to deal with a breakup.
If you’re wondering whether your ex is hurting, you’re still not over it. Ending a relationship takes time to deal with, so curiosity about how the other side is doing is natural.
It doesn’t matter if you’re wondering because you worry about him, because you want him to be in as much pain as you are, or because you want to get back together. Whatever your reason, you’ll get your answer by paying attention to his behavior los signos de que está dolido tras la ruptura.
20 señales de que está dolido tras la ruptura
How do you know if your ex-boyfriend is hurting? It’s not difficult to pinpoint the signs he is hurting after the breakup because they all have one thing in common: he’s not staying away.
When someone is over you and doesn’t want anything to do with you, he goes on with his life without concerning himself with what you’re doing. Todas las señales de que está dolido tras una ruptura también te muestran lo implicado que sigue estando en tu vida.
1. Te bloquea
If he blocked your number and on social media, he’s hurting and most likely wants to get over you. Cutting off all contact is one of the signs that he’s in pain y tratando de mantenerse alejado para proteger sus sentimientos.
La regla del no contacto es una de las formas más eficaces de tratar los sentimientos heridos tras una ruptura. He’s trying to stop himself from contacting you by blocking your number and he’s trying to avoid seeing updates about your life on social media.
If he didn’t care about contacting you, you’d know that tu ex ha seguido adelante.
2. Te ignora
When he ignores you when you contact him or when you run into him, he’s trying to hide his true feelings. He’s hurting and seeing you brings him even more pain, so he’s avoiding you.
If you run in the same circles and can’t help seeing each other, this will be even more obvious. It might seem childish when he just passes by you pretending you don’t exist – he’s sulking and ignoring you because he’s hurting y verte sólo hace que se sienta peor.
3. Se aleja de todos
Una de las señales reveladoras de que un chico está dolido es que desaparezca por completo. His ego and his feelings are both hurt, so he’s hiding from everyone until he’s recovered. If he’s not only hiding from you, but also ignoring his friends, he needs time to process his feelings.
He’s hurt and ashamed, so he doesn’t want to talk about it to anyone because it will only make him feel worse. If anyone gets in touch with him, he’ll probably lash out at them or be completely listless.
4. He’s in denial about the finality of your breakup
Denial is one of the sure signs that he’s hurting. If he’s acting like your breakup is temporary and not a big deal, he’s not taking it seriously. He’s either going through the etapas de una ruptura and will eventually accept it, or he’s just incapable of dealing with how he feels about losing you.
If he’s the dumper, it might also be a sign that he’s playing with your feelings. If he thinks that he can break up with you only to have you wait for him to change his mind, he’s in denial and considers your breakup a game without thinking about what it’s doing to you.
5. He shows up where he knows you’ll be
You go to your favorite coffee shop at your usual time, and he’s there. You’re meeting a friend for lunch, and he shows up at the same restaurant. You see him hanging around your neighborhood or near your workplace.
Una de las señales de que can’t stop thinking about you is if he’s always around. If you’ve blocked him, he might be trying to get in touch with you. If he’s the one who broke up with you, he’s regretting it and trying to catch a glimpse of you or talk to you.
6. He won’t stop texting or calling
Looking for excuses to contact you and can’t move on with his life is a definite sign that he’s in pain. He doesn’t know how to deal with his feelings and he’s trying to keep you in his life.
If he’s texting or calling you as much as when you were together, or even more, he’s unable to accept that you’re over. He either thinks that he still has a chance or he’s hoping to convince you to give him one.
7. Te dice que te echa de menos
When he outright tells you that he misses you, it’s a sign that he can’t deal with his feelings any more. It might be a moment of weakness and he still wants to be over you or he’s really reached a point where he doesn’t want to be without you any longer.
On the other hand, it could be a manipulation tactic, so be careful. If he’s the one who broke up with you and left you heartbroken, then suddenly empieza a echarte de menos, you can’t trust him until he proves to you that he really means it.
8. Pide otra oportunidad
Suplicarte que vuelvas con él es una señal obvia de que él lamenta haberte perdido y le duele estar separado de ti, pero you shouldn’t take his words at face value.
If you decide to give him another chance, he should first earn it, starting with a proper apology. The purpose of an apology isn’t to make him feel better or to acknowledge your reaction. A real apology shows that he’s genuinely sorry por sus acciones y que quiere compensarte.
9. Se mete en una relación por despecho
Una nueva relación inmediatamente después de una ruptura es un mecanismo de afrontamiento destinado a distraer del dolor. If he’s dating someone else before a certain amount of time has passed, it won’t end well for anyone involved.
First of all, it won’t help him deal with his feelings – it’s well known that los rebotes hacen que eches más de menos a tu ex. Not only that, but he’ll also hurt the other person he’s dating and, si lo permites, esta situación también te perjudicará.
Lo mejor que puede hacer por sí mismo es ignorar sus acciones y mantenerse al margen de todo este lío. Don’t let him drag you into it. Your ex and his new relationship are none of your business because you have better things to do.
10. Habla mal de ti
Anyone who’s trash-talking their ex-partner is angry and trying to hurt the other person’s feelings. Unless he’s a narcissist running a smear campaign, badmouthing you isn’t a calculated plan to make your mutual friends hate you, but a reaction to his pain.
He’s overwhelmed with how much he’s hurting, so he’s trying to make you feel the same. He also might be desperate to believe in the words they’re saying or looking for sympathy. Don’t let the things he’s saying get to you.
11. Distorsiona la verdad sobre vuestra ruptura
There are plenty of reasons for breakups, some of which are more painful than the others. Sometimes things seem fine, but underneath it they’re not working and you realize that it’s time to break up. Puede ser mutuo o el resultado de algo que hizo una persona.
Sea cual sea el motivo de su ruptura, si he can’t deal with his emotional pain and he’s trying to make you seem like the bad guy in the breakup, his behavior is toxic and you shouldn’t accept it.
If he’s trying to paint himself as a victim and blame you for everything that went wrong in your relationship, puedes hablar con él y pedirle que pare o puedes ignorarlo completamente.
He can try to put it all on you, but people who know you won’t believe him. If he manages to convince them, you can talk to them and tell them what’s going on, but it’s best if you don’t get involved at all. Vive tu vida sin molestias.
12. Intenta hacerte daño
If he’s miserable sin ti y la única manera de lidiar con su dolor es tratar de hacerte daño de vuelta, you shouldn’t give him the time of day. Some ways he could be doing this is by damaging your reputation or property, threatening you, harassing you or sabotaging you.
Watch out if his way of thinking is “If I am hurting, so should you”. He’s a toxic person who won’t stop hurting you even if you reconcile. He might be in pain, but that’s never an excuse for hurting others.
Seeking revenge for the breakup and trying to teach you a lesson are signs that he’s someone you should stay away from.
13. Te acecha
A clear sign that he’s not over you and that he’s hurting is if he’s up-to-date with everything that’s going on with your life. If he’s taking notice of all the small details that someone who doesn’t care about his ex-girlfriend or boyfriend would ignore, it’s obvious that he’s still very much invested.
Whether he’s stalking your social media or if he’s everywhere you go, debes tener cuidado. If his pain is combined with anger, he might not stop at keeping tabs on you. If he disturbs or harasses you, don’t try to deal with it alone.
14. Se entromete en tu vida
¿Cómo saber si tu ex sigue colada por ti? If he can’t seem to stay away. Puede hacerlo de muchas maneras, pero una de las cosas más molestas y posiblemente perturbadoras que puede hacer es entrometerse en tu vida.
Puede que pregunte por ti, que intente contactar con tu nueva pareja, que haga comentarios críticos, que te moleste, que te envíe mensajes de texto en exceso, que se ponga en contacto con tu familia, que intente involucrarte en su vida, etc.
¿Qué puedes hacer si quieres seguir adelante con tu vida? Debes ser muy estricto a la hora de imponer tus límites. Let him know that it’s over and that his input is not welcome.
Si quieres volver con él, deberías hablar con él y discutir abiertamente los sentimientos de ambos.
15. He pretends that he doesn’t care
Pretending that he doesn’t care is one of the more subtle signs that he todavía siente algo por tipero algunas de sus acciones le delatarán. If he’s trying too hard to make it seem like he’s over you, he probably isn’t.
Unless you’ve hurt him in a vicious way, he has no reason to pretend like you don’t exist. Insisting that he’s okay and trying to prove to everyone that you don’t matter is a way of coping with his hurt feelings.
16. He’s lashing out
If he’s hurting and has no one he can reach out to after the breakup, he might be feeling isolated and alone. If he has no outlet for his feelings, it’s possible he doesn’t know how to deal with them.
Anger is one of the most common reactions to a broken heart. If he’s lashing out or being mean, it’s possible that he doesn’t know how to handle his emotions. He might also become withdrawn and unapproachable.
Dependiendo de tus sentimientos y deseos, puedes alejarte o acercarte a él. Si al menos sigues teniendo sentimientos amistosos hacia él y quieres ayudarle, podrías animarle a hablar con un terapeuta.
17. Vuelve a sus malos hábitos
Las relaciones cambian a las personas. Todos nos adaptamos y hacemos concesiones, lo que incluye cambiar nuestros hábitos para adaptarnos a la otra persona. If he used to do something that bothered you and stopped and is now back to doing it, it might be a sign that he’s hurting.
This is especially true if it’s something self-destructive that he’s using to deal with negative emotions, como beber en exceso, fumar o abusar de sustancias.
If you’re worried about him, but don’t want to get involved, you can tell one of your mutual friends to pay attention to his behavior.
18. Intenta darte celos
Is he flirting with others where you can see? Are you specifically informed about him being with someone else soon after your breakup or are your mutual friends telling you how he’s going out every night and hooking up?
Trying to make you jealous is one of the biggest signs that he didn’t superarte y seguir adelante. If he was, he wouldn’t feel the need to let you know about it. He wants to manipulate you by trying to make you regret the breakup.
19. Hace un gran cambio
A big life change can be a sign that he’s hurt and trying to deal with his feelings. If he changes his job, moves long distance or makes a radical change in his appearance or behavior, he’s going through heartache and trying to deal with it.
This way of handling his pain can be effective. Post-breakup, everything reminds you of your ex, especially if you were in a long-term relationship. If you went through many experiences together, he’ll want to create new memories that don’t include you.
20. Sus amigos le piden que hable con él
If his best friend or your mutual friends contact you asking you to talk to him, it’s a sign that he’s been hurting and that they know all about it.
Maybe he’s been wallowing in his pain because he lamenta haberte perdido or he’s been self-destructive, but either way, if his friends are concerned enough to ask you to interfere, it’s serious.
It’s up to you to decide what to do. If there’s no bitterness between you and you want to help him deal with his feelings, you can accept their request and talk to him, but debes estar emocionalmente preparado y seguro de lo que quieres de la relación.
What To Do If He’s Hurting After The Breakup?
Después de una ruptura, o quieres seguir así o quieres volver con tu pareja. Depende de lo que quieras, hay diferentes rutas que puede tomar, but whichever you choose, it’s important to do the following:
1. Establecer límites
The most crucial piece of relationship advice you’ll ever get is that debes conocer tus límites, comunicárselos a la otra persona y hacerlos respetar. Esta es la base de unas relaciones sanas y del mantenimiento de tu salud mental.
Sea lo que sea lo que necesites de la relación con tu ex, debes hacerle saber cómo te sientes y recordarle que no viole tus límites si se le olvida. Así es como Protégete y aleja la toxicidad de tus relaciones.
2. Cuídate
Tu autocuidado y tu autoestima deben primar sobre cualquier otra cosa. Haz cosas que nutran tu salud, que te den un sentido de propósito y que te aporten alegría. Sé amable y paciente contigo misma sin ser excesivamente indulgente y negligente. Expresa tus sentimientos.
Si das prioridad a tu relación contigo mismo, todas tus demás relaciones se verán beneficiadas. You’ll have an easier time getting over a breakup and understanding where other people are coming from.
3. Respect each other’s needs
If your feelings regarding getting back together aren’t the same, it’s important to respect each other’s decisions. For example, if your ex wants to get back together, but you don’t want to stay in touch at all, you have no obligation to do so, and vice versa.
It’s a good idea to take some time away from each other even if you want to get back together. This will give you both la oportunidad de pensar en todo y decidir lo que quieres hacer. La distancia puede hacerte cambiar de opinión si ves las cosas desde otra perspectiva.
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These three rules make every relationship easier, but it’s especially beneficial when you’re in a breakup situation. Based on how you want things to go forward, there are different points to consider.
• If you’re not interested in being friends with your ex:
Si lo que quieres es sacarlo de tu vida, la manera más efectiva de manejar esto es cortarle por completo. Cuanto más se adhiera a la regla del no contacto, the faster you’ll get over him.
En lugar de pensar en él, céntrate en ti mismo and look for things that make you happy. It’s difficult, but it will get easier with time.
• If you want to stay friends:
Ser claro y estricto sobre su límites es de suma importancia. Los expertos en relaciones recomiendan establecer normas y directrices que diferenciará vuestra nueva relación con el otro de la que teníais.
It’s important to give each other time to heal after the breakup and evitar hacer cosas que se considerarían románticasPor ejemplo, abrazarte, darte apoyo emocional o cualquier cosa que te recuerde cómo erais el uno con el otro cuando teníais una relación sentimental.
Véase también: ¿Por qué mi ex no quiere que seamos amigos? (Explicado)
• If you want to volver juntos:
Volver a estar juntos después de una ruptura parece fácil, pero si esta vez queréis seguir juntos, necesitáis absoluta voluntad por ambas partes de hacer que las cosas funcionen.
Dar prioridad a comunicación y buscar formas de resolver los problemas that caused the end of your relationship. Only after you’re able to start over with no resentments should you consider getting your ex back.
En conclusión
Si usted aún te sientes unido a tu ex, knowing that he’s heartbroken is probably making you sad too. On the other hand, if you’re happy about getting rid of him and think he deserves it, it might make you happy if you notice signs he is hurting after the breakup.
Either way, your ex guy’s behavior is the key to knowing how he feels. Some of the things he’s doing because he’s hurting are surprising, some are just as you would expect. Don’t let his actions influence your feelings.
For you it’s most important to take care of yourself and let him do the same. If you want to get back together with him, it has to be mutual or you’ll be only hurting yourself. Both of you need to be willing to deal with your problems or leave things as they are.
