11 señales de advertencia de que tu ex está poniendo a tu hijo en tu contra

Los divorcios apestan, pero estar atrapado con una pareja tóxica apesta aún más.

Debemos dar gracias a Dios por vivir en tiempos en los que dejar relaciones y matrimonios que ya no nos sirven es algo habitual, aunque queda una duda: ¿Qué ocurre cuando hay un niño atrapado en medio?

Are you afraid that your toxic, vengeful ex might be trying to damage the amazing relationship you have with your kid? This article will clear any doubts because here you’ll find the most surefire signs your ex is turning your child against you.

1. Hablar mal de

¿Has oído que tu ex ha estado hablando mal de ti delante de tu hijo? You can’t understand it because you have never said anything bad about them in front of your kid and never would.

Because you want your kid to have a good relationship with the other parent, you don’t want to turn your kid against them, which is specifically what your ex is trying to do by hablando mal de y hablando mal de ti delante de tu hijo.

2. Lavado de cerebro

The alienating parent will try to brainwash the kid in order to turn them against the other parent. It’s a way they think they’ll get their revenge on their ex-partner.

Whenever your kid starts talking about the good memories they have with you or about something nice you’ve done for them, your ex will immediately stop them and say something bad about you.

They’ll do anything to change the picture of an amazing, loving parent your kid has of you in their head.

If you notice your alienated child is being brainwashed and do absolutely nothing about it, it won’t take too long for your ex to succeed in their intention: to turn your kid against you.

3. Cambio de culpas

Esto es algo muy común en las parejas divorciadas muy conflictivas. They weren’t ready to take responsibility for their wrongdoings while they were married, which eventually led to their divorce, and that’s why they started trasladar la culpa unos sobre otros.

However, if you aren’t doing it and your ex-spouse does, if your kid also starts blaming you for the divorce, you should know that you’re dealing with an alienated child.

Your ex isn’t choosing methods to get their revenge anymore. Their only goal has become to turn your kid against you, and they’ll use every weapon at their disposal to achieve it.

4. Hacer acusaciones falsas

Has your kid started asking you about your marriage? Perhaps they asked you whether it’s true that you cheated on their dad/mom and you got divorced because of it?

If those kinds of questions start appearing, don’t be surprised. Tu ex empezará a salir con falsas acusaciones verbales, físicas o abuso sexual o tu infidelidad, todo con el objetivo de que tu hijo te culpe y te odie por el fin de vuestro matrimonio.

5. Limitar la comunicación

¿Su ex-cónyuge take your kid’s phone away? Did they delete all of their redes sociales cuentas? ¿Le ofrecieron alguna explicación de por qué lo hicieron?

If there is no legit reason for restricting your kid that way, it’s a huge red flag they’re trying to alienate them. They don’t want them to communicate with you, and they’re trying to block every way they can get in touch with you.

6. Cancelación del tiempo de custodia

If your ex-spouse won the custody agreement, they’ll try to use it to limit your parenting time. Remember, their only goal is to harm the connection you have with your kid.

Co-parenting is hard, and the only way it’ll be successful is if both sides are ready to make compromises and agree.

Si tu ex cónyuge empieza a utilizar excusas estúpidas y a cancelar el tiempo de custodia, debes ponerle fin inmediatamente. Tu pareja tiene que respetar el acuerdo de custodia de los hijos; de lo contrario, puedes buscar asesoramiento jurídico para modificar la orden de custodia.

7. Prohíbe que su hijo le visite a usted y a sus familiares

If your kid starts avoiding visiting you or your extended family, it’s a huge sign they’re a victim of parental alienation. It probably isn’t their own choice. They’re avoiding it because your ex is making them avoid you and your part of the family.

It’s simply because they’re trying to cut off every form of communication and connection between you and your kid. They don’t want you to figure out what they’re trying to do, and they’ll keep forbidding your kid from seeing you.

8. Castigo emocional

Every time your kid goes deaf on their “commands” or your ex finds out they were talking tp you or doing something they forbade them from doing, they’ll punish your kid.

They’ll use emotional punishments and blackmailing because they know they work best on children.

They’ll tell your kid how they’re breaking their heart piece by piece every time they talk to you or see you. Those emotional punishments will seriously start impacting your kids’ mental health.

Relacionado: 8 señales de que sufriste abandono emocional de niño (y cómo te afecta ahora)

9. Siempre pide elegir bando

¿Se ha quejado tu hijo de que el otro progenitor siempre le pide que elija entre tú y él? ¿O tal vez alguien cercano a tu hijo te lo confesó?

If it’s true, you need to consider it as a warning sign your ex is turning your kid against you. Sean cuales sean las circunstancias, tu hijo nunca podrá elegir un bando entre tu ex pareja y tú, porque su corazón os pertenece a los dos por igual.

10. Comprar su amor

If your ex-spouse has easily agreed on all child support matters, if they always buy your kid whatever they wish for, if they shower them with expensive gifts every day, you should know that they’re trying to buy their love.

This is especially true if they’re in a better financial situation than you are. They’re trying to buy their love by affording them everything you aren’t able to.

Fortunately, it’s never a way to get someone to love you, and kids never fall for such cheap tricks. Truth be told, children aren’t as naive as many people usually think.

11. Abuso verbal o físico

Cuando todos estos métodos fracasan, el progenitor alienador empieza a utilizar métodos físicos o abuso verbal para que su hijo se distancie del otro progenitor.

That’s why you need to have regular, open, and honest communication with your kid. Si le confían algo o se da cuenta de que su hijo está sufriendo malos tratos, debe hacer algo al respecto cuanto antes.

I know you don’t like to meddle in the relationship your kid has with their other parent, but you shouldn’t allow anyone to ever hurt your child in any way, even if it’s your ex-spouse, their parent.

Qué hacer si su ex intenta poner a sus hijos en su contra

Being a child of divorced parents is hard enough even without these kinds of toxic games vengeful partners might be playing with each other. If you’re sure now that your ex has parental alienation syndrome (PAS), you need to deal with it and protect your child at any cost.

En primer lugar, tienes que hablar con tu ex y tratar de construir a relación sana entre vosotros. Vuestro matrimonio ha terminado, pero deberíais intentar seguir siendo amigos por el bien de vuestros hijos.

Tienes que advertirles de las terribles consecuencias que alienación parental may leave on your kid’s bienestar.

As the final step, you should make them realize that their awful manipulation tactics may cost them losing the custody case. And make it clear that you won’t be silent about their alienation.

En padre objetivo también tiene que trabajar para reforzar la relación padre-hijo. Tu hijo necesita saber que puede hablar contigo y abrirse a ti en cualquier momento.

Si nada de esto funciona, debes pedir ayuda a otras personas. Pida consejo a sus familiares, asesoramiento jurídico a abogados de derecho de familia o a su abogado matrimonialista, o hable con alguien que haya pasado por lo mismo.