Relaciones complicadas: 8 trampas en las que no quieres caer

‘Complicated relationship’ is a phrase we hear a lot these days. The term has become more widespread, thanks to the prominent Facebook relationship status option: It’s complicated.

Siempre me he preguntado qué debe sentir la gente para declarar algo así, y resulta que hay varias razones que contribuyen a la complejidad de una relación.

It’s not like we can provide a clear definition of it, but a relación complicada significa un insatisfactorio amar la vida.

In other words, it’s when socios luchan con inseguridades y codependenciatienen diferentes puntos de vista sobre la vida, u otros problemas de pareja that don’t allow them to take their relationship to the ‘exclusividad‘ level.

It’s a relación tóxica between two people who can’t find common ground despite the strong feelings they share for each other. They’re aware they can’t be together, but they also can’t walk away from each other…

¿Cómo saber si su relación es complicada?

It’s actually pretty simple; if you aren’t sure what su situación sentimental is at every moment, and if you don’t know where exactly you stand with your partner, you’re in a relación complicada. Punto final.

Cuando una persona está en una vida sana y relación de éxito, they don’t have to bother about these things because they have a clear picture of their relationship at every moment. Y, si preguntas como ésta empiezan a atormentarles, simplemente lo comentan con su pareja.

If you’re in a relationship in which you’re hesitant to call yourself a couple, I’m afraid you fall into one of these categories that definitely indicate your relationship is complicated:

1. Relación intermitente

Sería estupendo que existiera alguna guía universal sobre cómo para construir una relación fructíferaPero la realidad es que no sólo no hay ninguna guía, sino que no hay ninguna regla. Y, con el agravante de que cada relación es distinta, como distintos somos cada uno de nosotros.

There’s no right path. There’s just a scarily big amount of small and narrow streets everywhere.

El amor es complicado… our feelings are messy. So, how on earth will relationships not be messy.

If you’re in una relación on/offYa sabes que hay muchas razones por las que la gente rompe.

Puede deberse a un conflicto causado por características personales diferentes (la falta de compatibilidad), antecedentes vitales, estancamiento o celospor ejemplo.

One thing is for sure, though… The breakup is always followed by feelings of loneliness, missing the old habits, and lacking the comfort you had with your once significant other.

And, that’s when things start to get complicated, and are usually followed by a reunion. That’s where the roller coaster begins.

On/off relationships are full of uncertainty, pain, and passion… It sounds like a good romance novel, doesn’t it? However, this kind of relationship surely isn’t worth your efforts y tu valioso tiempo.

2. Amigos con derecho a roce

Al principio, la idea suena muy bien.

Disfrutáis viéndoos para pasar un rato casual y sexy. ¿Y por qué no?

Sin condiciones parece un buen plan, pero en realidad no lo es. One side is going to catch feelings sooner or later and the whole thing will turn into hell. Trust me, I’ve seen it happen so many times.

Your sex lives may be great now but, pretty soon, a simple sentence like “We’re just friends and all of this between us is just a casual thing, right?” may sound heartbreaking to you.

You will stay neither friends nor lovers. You’ll end up hating each other and yourselves for engaging in such a type of relationship in the first place.

It’s normal for human beings to feel other types of closeness after being physically close. Y, por desgracia, los amigos con derecho a roce término puede significar a menudo eludir responsabilidades y actuar de forma imprudente.

Antes de meterte en una relación así, tienes que pensar en las consecuencias.

I know Mila Kunis looks like the coolest person on earth in that movie ‘Amigos con derecho a roce,’ but even she catches feelings in the end. And, you don’t want to be the one who’s saying, “It’s complicated” or, way worse… you don’t want to be left heartbroken.

3. Relación a distancia

It’s no secret that relaciones a distancia puede resultar difícil. Para tener éxito, hay que esforzarse mucho más que en las relaciones normales.

¿Por qué? Su comunicación puede cansar. Tu relación puede caer fácilmente en un celo and it’ll be impossible to ocuparse de ello… to get out of that celo y salva tu amor.

A veces resulta agotador escribir o hablar de todo lo que te ha pasado a lo largo del día, todos los días. En lugar de eso, quieres que estén ahí cuando ocurra.

They don’t know your friends, you didn’t meet theirs either, and the fact is that friends represent a huge part of our lives.

You don’t have the physical aspect of a relationship, and we can all agree that’s pretty important. Plus, you don’t know when you’re going to see each other, and it gets hard to live in uncertainty and anticipation.

Cada nuevo día de a relación a distancia se hace más difícil.

Other than that, there are factors such as the financial burden or that there’s no way for the relationship to progress. In that case, you should think about your future together realistically.

¿Va a funcionar o no?

If you want it to work, both sides need to put immense effort into making it work, and also, they’ll need to take some risks. It’s possible to beat the distance… you only need to want it and fight for it enough.

4. Relación secreta

This might sound strange, but think about it. Have you ever felt like your partner is hiding you or being unnecessarily secretive about your relationship? Like you’re amantes secretos?

Nunca se hacen fotos contigo, e incluso cuando lo hacen, nunca llegan a su redes sociales perfiles. Nunca escriben lindos subtítulos de amor o etiquetarte en publicaciones bonitas. Y, aunque quieras publicar una foto tuya, se oponen rotundamente.

If you’re in a brand new relationship, that might be okay, but after some time, it tends to become suspicious. You feel like they don’t appreciate you enough… like they are not proud to be yours.

It makes you feel like they’re having reflexiones o no tomarte en serio.

To deal with it, you need to confront them and get to the bottom of their behavior. If their answers are vague and unsatisfying, that means they’re hiding something or they simply don’t care suficiente.

5. It feels like you’re nothing more than a hookup

Lo último que quieres sin duda es sentirte como you’re just a hookup. If you’re into them and want una relación duradera, and they treat you like you’re something casual, then it’s complicated and totalmente indigno de su tiempo.

The ways you’ll know you’re just a hookup are when:

• They use excuses to not spend the night after you’ve been together.

• They don’t take the time to get to know what you’re like, what you love to do, your tastes or hobbies, etc.

• They don’t bother to answer your messages.

• They avoid meeting your friends and don’t talk about you to theirs.

- They don’t make any effort para hacerte sentir especial.

• They never mostrar afecto en público.

I’m sorry but if you’re experiencing this, it probably means su pareja es un narcisista ella/he doesn’t love you, or doesn’t see you as a long-term partner. On the other hand, it may also mean they’re just a member of the ‘non-monogamous relationships’ club.

6. Nunca has tenido una relación sana

This will probably sound awkward to you, but maybe it’s complicated because you don’t know what it feels like when it’s not complicated.

Maybe you’ve been hurt before, and your defense mechanism is constantly telling you to watch out if something is off.

Analizas demasiado cada situación because you have learned that things are not always what they appear to be. And, that’s okay.

It takes time to heal and trust yourself and other people again. You learned that it takes more than a simple ‘Te quiero‘ for making things work.

Al fin y al cabo, lo que necesita es una solución sencilla y rápida. relación sana contigo mismo primero para poder tener lo mismo con otra persona. Necesitas aclarar y definir el estado de relación de tu auto-relación.

7. El amor está ahí, pero falta algo más

You love each other, you care about each other, you text all day long. You feel supported and comfortable, but both of you can’t shake off the feeling that something big is missing.

Sometimes, it feels like they’re your mejor amigo rather than your lover. It’s like there’s something left unsaid or undone.

Neither of you ever said you’re a couple. You just happened to be there for each other when you needed it, and now it just is what it is — some form of undefined partnership with no certain objective.

Y, la falta de objetivo significa falta de verdadero interés, lo que, además, conlleva muchas complicaciones.

Así que, antes de que todo se convierta en un revoltijo y se convierta en una situaciónDeséense buena suerte y sigan adelante.

8. Relación prohibida

Here comes the epitome of complicated. Maybe they’re your best friend’s ex, maybe they’re married, or maybe you just know they’re not good for you.

You both know you shouldn’t be doing it, but it just feels so good.

Try asking yourself whether you’re really in love or if you’re maybe subconsciously a thrill-seeker. You probably already know the answer.

Después de todo esto, podemos concluir que una relación complicada no es más que un término que utilizamos para expresar problemas mucho más complejos. Va más allá del estado de la relación en Facebook.

If you are in this kind of relationship or if you’re entering one for the first time, remember that your own gut feeling will provide you with the best consejos sobre relaciones.

¿Cómo terminar una relación complicada?

Una relación sana debe ser siempre segura para ambas partes. Debe haber un alto grado de comprensión, respeto y compromiso. Si a tu relación le falta algo de eso, si las cosas se complican constantemente entre tu pareja y tú, la única opción que tienes es ponerle fin.

But, first, you need to end it in your head. That is, you need to think it all through. Sort out your thoughts and choose a path you’ll go.

Cuando se trata de ordenar las cosas en tu corazón, eso será más complicado. Sin embargo, cuando pongas el amor propio and the love you feel for someone who doesn’t deserve it at all on scales, the first one will always prevail.

Sea directo y abierto con su pareja. Cuéntales todo lo que has estado reprimiendo en tu interior durante todo este tiempo. Consigue el cierre que necesitas para seguir adelante de forma adecuada.

It’ll be hard and heartbreaking, that’s for sure. But, with the help of time and a well-organized support system, you’ll manage to get through it and move forward with your life.

¿Cómo arreglar una relación complicada?

On the other hand, if you want to fight for your love and think it’s really worth it, you should stay and work on saving your relationship.

Lo primero que necesitas es encontrar la raíz de esa complicidad. Encuentra y reconoce todas tus problemas de pareja y tratar lentamente con todos y cada uno de ellos.

Ambas partes deben admitir sus errores y asumir toda la responsabilidad por ellos. Además, ambos miembros de la pareja deben trabajar para mejorar su comunicación y crear un mayor nivel de confianza entre ellos.

If you both think it’s needed, you can also seek professional help.

La única forma de que vuestra relación salga de ese atolladero de complicidad es que ambos os dediquéis por completo a arreglar y hacer que las cosas funcionen entre vosotros.

It’s not enough just to clear that complicity… you also need to work on strengthening your bond and making your relationship healthy.

Citas sobre relaciones complicadas

 

I also had to share with you these touching complicated relationship quotes I found online because each one of them describes the heartbreaking struggle so well…

1. “Love isn’t complicated; people are.”

2. “Somehow, you are both the best and the worst thing that has happened to me.”

3. “A no-effort relationship is una relación condenada al fracaso, not a great relationship. It takes work to communicate accurately, and it takes work to expose and resolve conflicting hopes and beliefs. It doesn’t mean there is no ‘they lived happily ever after,’ but it’s more like ‘they worked felices para siempre.” – Carol S. Dweck

4. “It hurts having you close, but it would hurt even more not having you at all.”

5. “You and I will always be unfinished business.”

6. “We’re more than friends, but less than a couple.”

7. “People make love complicated because they do not get love the way they want to be, ever. I would rather have loved than never to have experienced this complicated and happy feeling.”

8. “My relationship with him was defined by these complex emotions: this mixture of gratitude and resentment.” – Otsuichi

9. “The only complicated things worth fighting for will change the world in some way and/or make you lots of money, and a relación complicada will only keep you from doing either.” – Ingrid Weir

10. “I am sick and tired of all these things, you see… the problem is loving you is so complicated. You want to know what the problem with love is? No one actually knows what it really is.”

⭐I saved the best for last, of course:

11. “You deserve to be with somebody who makes you happy… somebody who doesn’t complicate your life… somebody who won’t hurt you.”

To Leave Or To Stay, That’s The Question

El escenario de una relación complicada sólo tiene dos opciones; to stay and fight for your love even though you know it’ll be hard, or to leave, turn your back on it for good, and dig it into the past forever.

And, the only place you’ll find the right answer for your situation is… your heart.

If you already tried and saw that you can’t be away from each other, maybe it’s because you aren’t meant to be apart. In that case, it’s worth the struggle and the fight.

However, if they’re not willing to put your relationship first, then you’re better off without them. Move forward and find someone who’s going to make you feel great and appreciated… someone who’s going to make you feel the way you deserve.

Si lo ves indigno de la lucha, reúne fuerzas para dejar tu relación montaña rusa once and for all, and continue your search somewhere else…

Somewhere where you’re going to be needed and loved all the time, and without fear of losing your partner.