Un tonto que se enamoró de una tonta

She made her favorite meal to share with you. She took time out of her evening to prep herself for you. She picked the perfect outfit. She did her hair perfectly to show off her neck and face just the way she thought you would like. She took the time to put her make-up on like you had never seen before. She lit the candle that reminded her of you—soft and sweet. She did all this because you told her before leaving work that you would be home for dinner. You told her you would message her shortly. She waited and waited for your reply. Only to once again not hear from you.

Tu mitad de la comida se enfrió, sólo para ser puesta en la nevera para que ella la comiera más tarde. La vela que parecía tan dulce y un hermoso recuerdo de ti se consumió. Su atuendo pasó desapercibido. Su pelo se deshizo. Su maquillaje se borró antes de que pudieras verlo. Porque ella era la tonta que se enamoró de un tonto.

The fool who doesn’t know how to hold on to her tightly even when she told you how to. You never gave her a chance to let you into her life. Ella estaba esperando que fueras el hombre que ella necesitaba que fueras. El hombre que ella te dijo que quería. Que estuvieras ahí. Que viniera cuando dijiste que lo harías. Llamarla hermosa cuando pensabas que era la mujer más hermosa. Hablar con ella cuando dijiste que te pondrías en contacto con ella.

Ella pensó que estabas siendo sincero cuando dijiste que querías algo más que unos revolcones en las sábanas. Ella quería amor. Tú querías amor. Querías a alguien que fuera como ella. Sólo que no como ella. Ella quería a alguien como tú y todavía espera que tú seas ese hombre que ella quiere. La pusiste a distancia para probar que ella era la que querías. Sólo para que ella se sintiera como la amante de tu vida.

Su corazón latía por ti. Su corazón también se rompía por ti. Se dijo a sí misma que serías diferente. Que todas las nenas y bellas que pusiste en tus mensajes eran solo para ella. Pero ahora se da cuenta de que nunca serás quien ella necesita que seas.

Ella necesita al hombre que dijiste que serías. El que se emocionaba al mandarle un mensaje de buenos días porque querías que su día empezara bien o porque ella era el primer pensamiento que tenías al despertarte. Le decías que tuviera cuidado al conducir y le pedías que te enviara un mensaje de texto cuando llegara a casa, sólo porque querías que estuviera segura. Eras tú quien pensaba que quería ser su mejor amiga en la vida, con quien compartir una vida. O para tener la posibilidad de tener una vida juntos.

But the closer she got, the quieter you got, the fewer good morning texts she got. Even when you stayed with her, you weren’t there next to her when she woke up. Instead, you were a million miles away. She would joke about you not wanting her but in reality, it’s what she was feeling. She felt like you were leaving her behind. She felt like you were leaving her before you could even get started.

Ella sabía en su corazón que you weren’t the one. But there is something about you that she can’t put her finger on. Everything about you drives her insane and annoys her. But that everything is what she loves about you. She truly cares for you. She cares for your family and even though she has never met them, she hopes to.

But this time she isn’t going to wait for you. This time she will live her life the way she wants. Go on the adventures that you didn’t seem to be interested in. The next dinner you miss out on will not be because you didn’t message her back or stood her up. No, the next dinner you miss out on will be because she didn’t invite you over. The next dinner, she will get dolled up for herself. With the hairstyle that will show off her face and neck that she likes. With the make-up that she will do because it will show off the favorite things about her face. With the perfect outfit she will pick out because it will hug her the way she deserves to be hugged. She may be a fool who fell for a fool but she won’t be a fool to keep waiting for a fool.

Instead, she will see that you’re the fool who let her get away. And the next time you message, she may not respond to you. She may just ignore it and let it go unread for days and days, until her mailbox is full of worried messages from you. Your phone calls will go unanswered and it may be because she might have phone problems or even because she is just busy.

She doesn’t want you to be the fool to come crawling back on your knees, asking for forgiveness. In fact, she doesn’t want you to be a fool at all. She just wants you to be the man you seemed to be. The one who wanted so much from her but who you couldn’t be for her.

She doesn’t want you to apologize for the times you were gone. She doesn’t want a bunch of flowers that will die in a few days. She doesn’t want makeup dinners. She doesn’t even want makeup dates. She just wants you to show her you will be there. You were nothing you said you were, nothing you seemed to be.

Ella sólo quiere que seas tú. No el tonto que estás actuando como.

by Stevie Rae Pears