Uno sciocco che si è innamorato di uno sciocco

She made her favorite meal to share with you. She took time out of her evening to prep herself for you. She picked the perfect outfit. She did her hair perfectly to show off her neck and face just the way she thought you would like. She took the time to put her make-up on like you had never seen before. She lit the candle that reminded her of you—soft and sweet. She did all this because you told her before leaving work that you would be home for dinner. You told her you would message her shortly. She waited and waited for your reply. Only to once again not hear from you.

La tua metà del pasto si è raffreddata, per poi essere messa in frigorifero per essere mangiata da lei più tardi. La candela che sembrava così dolce e un bel ricordo di te si è bruciata. Il suo abbigliamento passò inosservato. I suoi capelli si sono disfatti. Il suo trucco è stato cancellato prima che tu potessi vederlo. Perché lei era la stupida che si è innamorata di un pazzo.

The fool who doesn’t know how to hold on to her tightly even when she told you how to. You never gave her a chance to let you into her life. Stava aspettando che tu fossi l'uomo di cui aveva bisogno. L'uomo che ti ha detto di volere. Solo per esserci. Per tornare quando avevi detto che l'avresti fatto. Di chiamarla bella quando pensavi che fosse la donna più bella. Parlare con lei quando hai detto che l'avresti contattata.

Pensava che tu fossi sincero quando dicevi di volere più di qualche rotolata tra le lenzuola. Lei voleva l'amore. Volevi l'amore. Volevi qualcuno che fosse proprio come lei. Solo che non era lei. Voleva qualcuno proprio come te e spera ancora che tu sia l'uomo che desidera. L'hai messa a distanza per dimostrare che era lei quella che volevi. Solo che lei si è sentita la padrona della tua vita.

Il suo cuore batteva per voi. Il suo cuore si spezzava anche a causa tua. Si era detta che tu saresti stato diverso. Che tutte le bambine e le bellezze che mettevi nei tuoi messaggi erano solo per lei. Ma ora si rende conto che non sarai mai chi lei ha bisogno che tu sia.

Ha bisogno dell'uomo che hai detto che saresti stato. Quello che era entusiasta di mandarle un messaggio di buongiorno perché volevi che la sua giornata iniziasse bene o perché lei era il primo pensiero che avevi quando ti svegliavi. Le dicevi di stare attenta quando guidava e le chiedevi di mandarti un messaggio quando tornava a casa, solo perché volevi che fosse al sicuro. Eri quello che pensava di voler essere il suo migliore amico nella vita, con cui condividere una vita. O per avere la possibilità di avere una vita insieme.

But the closer she got, the quieter you got, the fewer good morning texts she got. Even when you stayed with her, you weren’t there next to her when she woke up. Instead, you were a million miles away. She would joke about you not wanting her but in reality, it’s what she was feeling. She felt like you were leaving her behind. She felt like you were leaving her before you could even get started.

In cuor suo sapeva che you weren’t the one. But there is something about you that she can’t put her finger on. Everything about you drives her insane and annoys her. But that everything is what she loves about you. She truly cares for you. She cares for your family and even though she has never met them, she hopes to.

But this time she isn’t going to wait for you. This time she will live her life the way she wants. Go on the adventures that you didn’t seem to be interested in. The next dinner you miss out on will not be because you didn’t message her back or stood her up. No, the next dinner you miss out on will be because she didn’t invite you over. The next dinner, she will get dolled up for herself. With the hairstyle that will show off her face and neck that she likes. With the make-up that she will do because it will show off the favorite things about her face. With the perfect outfit she will pick out because it will hug her the way she deserves to be hugged. She may be a fool who fell for a fool but she won’t be a fool to keep waiting for a fool.

Instead, she will see that you’re the fool who let her get away. And the next time you message, she may not respond to you. She may just ignore it and let it go unread for days and days, until her mailbox is full of worried messages from you. Your phone calls will go unanswered and it may be because she might have phone problems or even because she is just busy.

She doesn’t want you to be the fool to come crawling back on your knees, asking for forgiveness. In fact, she doesn’t want you to be a fool at all. She just wants you to be the man you seemed to be. The one who wanted so much from her but who you couldn’t be for her.

She doesn’t want you to apologize for the times you were gone. She doesn’t want a bunch of flowers that will die in a few days. She doesn’t want makeup dinners. She doesn’t even want makeup dates. She just wants you to show her you will be there. You were nothing you said you were, nothing you seemed to be.

Vuole solo che tu sia te stesso. Non lo sciocco come ti stai comportando.

by Stevie Rae Pears