You are his, but you are not. You are together, but you aren’t really. There is this thing between the two of you and it resembles a relationship, but you do not call it a relationship. So, you can’t help but wonder what are you really to him?
What do you mean to him?
You’ve been seeing each other for the past few months and everything about the two of you screams ‘couple’, yet you are not his girlfriend.
He refuses to put a label on your ‘relationship’ and it makes you feel insecure, doesn’t it? You want exclusivity and you, as it happens to us women, are planning and hoping to get something true and real from this ‘relationship’ of yours.
But you are not exactly sure where you stand with him. Because you don’t have any idea what he has on his mind. You don’t know where he wants to go with you and if he’s planning anything serious with you. And it has started becoming a bit overwhelming.
He’s kind and nice to you. You spend a lot of time together and you already have your routine, but every time you ask what’s up with the two of you and what you are to him, you get a neutral answer. It seems as if he shudders at your calling him your boyfriend.
And all you want to do is actually call him your boyfriend. You want to belong to him and you want him to belong to you. Not the wrong kind of possession, but the one where you give your hearts to each other.
Maybe he’s not an ‘all in’ type of a guy.
It could be you’re one of the unlucky girls who stumbled upon a guy who seems to be relationship material but isn’t really. He’s not labeling the two of you, he seems distant, and you are not introduced to his friends at all.
It could be that he has a few relationships on the side, but nobody knows anything about that. Maybe he doesn’t like to say out loud that he’s taken. Maybe he’s just keeping his options open.
Maybe he’s just with you until he finds the ‘right’ one.
You’re amazing, but he doesn’t think you are enough. You are convenient at this very moment, but you might not be the best option for anything further. It could be you’re the one he’s sharing his bed with until he meets the girl of his dreams.
Maybe he’s not labeling you because he’s not sure you’re right for him.
But this doesn’t sound like your boy, does it? You can see he has feelings for you. It’s obvious he wants to be with you. He isn’t toxic, but you can’t explain what exactly is off. There is something more to it.
What if he’s not labeling you because he feels more comfortable that way? He’s not labeling you even though both of you know deep down that what you have is the real thing. You are not his girlfriend, but you aren’t anybody else’s either. He’s yours and he’s all yours.
That’s the thing you don’t have to worry about because even though you are not labeled as a couple, it’s obvious that there is something bigger going on between the two of you. You’re exclusive even though nobody said it out loud. You just know it wouldn’t work with anybody else.
Everything is pulling you together, but you’re not his girlfriend. You are his girl, however, but this isn’t enough.
You are tired of waiting and a bit scared and insecure about what the future holds for you, but you know the feeling is real. You know he’s with you every night. You know he’s true with you, but there is a huge but standing between the two of you.
Have you ever thought about his previous relationships? Have you ever stopped and thought what this guy you ‘aren’t dating’ has been through? You know that there are girls out there who are just using boys and boys who are just using girls. That’s why you’re feeling insecure. That’s why he’s afraid.
If your guy is treating you right and giving you girlfriend privileges but still hasn’t put a label on your relationship, he’s not afraid of commitment. He’s afraid of expectations and he’s afraid that labeling might ruin everything. He is afraid you might turn your back on him just like all the others have.
You wouldn’t be the first one who promised to be there for him and then moved along with somebody else. You wouldn’t be the first one to ask for ‘making it official’ and then stopped trying.
Just because you label your relationship doesn’t mean your efforts should drop. Just because you ‘got him’ shouldn’t make you take him for granted.
There are men out there who are just toxic and simply don’t want to settle down in life.
They don’t want to tie themselves to a single girl. But most of these men don’t treat their girls right. Usually, they make promises they can’t keep, everything about them is shady and the feeling you get when you’re around them is simply off. But with your boy, you don’t feel like this.
When you’re with your boy(friend) it’s something else. You feel this is it. And you feel like there is no need to keep looking because settling down feels just right.
So if you feel like he deserves you and if you feel like he’s worthy of your time and your efforts, fight for him. Don’t give up if what you truly feel for him is love.
There are men out there who are worth the fight. There are men out there who were broken by other girls and they find it extremely hard to give their trust to someone else. There are men who want to love again but they have been through some horrible trauma and are unable to let their heart feel freely.
These men need a little help. They need to see that it’s safe to love again and they need to know that what happened once won’t happen again. Be honest, don’t we all?
Show him you’ll be there. Show him he can trust you. Don’t be another person to fail him, don’t be another one in the line of those who broke him. Make him feel you’re going to stay and you’re not like the others.
Let him feel that what you have is the ‘real’ thing and you’ll get him whispering ‘girlfriend’ in your ear. But don’t just tell him, show him. Prove to him that you deserve to have at least one chance to be together and that you are not one of those who will break him.
At the end of the day, once he realizes what is really going on, he’ll be ready to put his guard down and he’ll eventually be ready to call himself yours.
Don’t push it and don’t run away. Stay for a change. Stay for him. It will be worth it.