Whenever you’re feeling stuck in life, funny motivational quotes will inspire you to keep moving forward. These quotes will brighten your day and remind you that motivation is one of the most powerful forces in the universe.
They will teach you some valuable lessons:
- If you believe you can achieve something, you will.
- Bad decisions are a part of success.
- Life is so much easier with a sense of humor.
From funny motivational quotes for work to funny inspirational quotes on life, these funny words of wisdom will not only make you laugh but also help you reduce stress and boost your motivation.
Are you ready? I bet you are.
Funny Inspirational Quotes About Life And Happiness
1. “Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s more like a cha-cha.” – Robert Brault
2. “Never follow anyone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost.” – Ellen DeGeneres
3. “It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by then I was too famous.” – Robert Benchley
4. “Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.” – Gertrude Stein
5. “You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.” – Sam Levenson
6. “I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.” – Mitch Hedberg
7. “My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far, I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.” – Dave Barry
8. “The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.” – Groucho Marx
9. “Luck is what you have left over after you give 100 percent.” – Langston Coleman
10. “I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.” – Ron White
11. “Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.” – Sam Levenson
12. “Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.” – Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach
13. “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde
14. “A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.” – Mark Twain
15. “Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget tossing in the lifeboats.” – Voltaire
16. “Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.” – Will Rogers
17. “To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.” – Reba McEntire18. “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” – Terry Pratchett
19. “If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.” – Yogi Berra
20. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing—that’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar
21. “I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.” – Groucho Marx
22. “When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’” – Sydney Harris
23. “We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.” – George Bernard Shaw
24. “Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.“ – Marilyn Monroe
25. “Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” – Tom Lehrer
26. “Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.” – Albert Einstein
27. “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.” – Charles Schulz
28. “Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.” – Isaac Asimov
29. “It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.” – Ashleigh Brilliant
30. “The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.” – Albert Einstein
31. “Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.” – Franklin P. Jones
32. “Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.” – Billie Burke
33. “I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” – Unknown
34. “Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.” – Mark Twain
Funny Motivational Quotes About Work
1. “The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” – Robert Frost
2. “Every day, I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben
3. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde
4. “Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” – Josh Billings
5. “My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Unknown
6. “Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.” – Oscar Wilde
7. “To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.” – Steven Wright
8. “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” – Will Rogers
9. “The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx
10. “It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower
11. “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” – Bill Gates
12. “I always give 100% at work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” – Unknown
13. “It takes less time to do a thing right than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
14. “People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” – Elbert Hubbard
15. “Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” – George Carlin
16. “I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” – Benjamin Franklin
17. “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” – Edgar Bergen
18. “As I have gotten older and wiser, I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Payday, lunchtime, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” – Tom Goins
19. “My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” – Unknown
20. “People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams
21. “I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” – Jerome K. Jerome
22. “If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” – Albert Einstein
23. “Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy
24. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
25. “Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” – Scott Adams
26. “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
27. “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” – Mark Twain
28. “A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” – Zig Ziglar
29. “Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work, and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Unknown
30. “Where people aren’t having fun, they seldom produce good work.” – David Ogilvy
31. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” – Dalai Lama
32. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
33. “If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” – Woody Allen
34. “The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.” – Vince Lombardi
35. “An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault.” – William Castle
36. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” – Robert Frost
37. “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.” – Joe Girard
38. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” – A.A. Milne
39. “Opportunity does not knock; it presents itself when you beat down the door.” – Kyle Chandler
Funny Motivational Sales Quotes
1. “The biggest challenge in business is not the competition; it’s what goes on inside your own head.” – Barbara Corcoran
2. “Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.” –Napoleon Bonaparte
3. “My sales objective is to get my prospects to look at my products the same way I look at bacon.” – Kurt Mortensen
4. “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” – Wayne Gretzky
5. “When you’re good at something, you’ll tell everyone. When you’re great at something, they’ll tell you.” – Walter Payton
6. “I design, manufacture, distribute, and sell elevator buttons. I specialize in the fourth floor. And I don’t mean to brag, but I’m such a good salesman that I could sell one of my fourth-floor elevator buttons to the owner of a three-story building. I’m also into Jazz. I make elevator music in my free time. My motto in life: You can’t push my buttons if you don’t buy them.” – Jarod Kintz
7. “You can’t just ask customers what they want and then try to give that to them. By the time you get it built, they’ll want something new.” – Steve Jobs
8. “Business opportunities are like buses; there’s always another one coming.” – Richard Branson
9. “On any given Monday, I am one sale closer and one idea away from being a millionaire.” – Larry D. Turner
10. “You just can’t beat the person who never gives up.” – Babe Ruth
11. “I attribute my success to this: I never gave or took any excuse.” – Florence Nightingale
12. “[Sales is] trying to get to a decision. Now, preferably a yes, but sometimes a quick no is almost as good an answer. But a long no maybe will kill you.” – Alston Gardner
13. “Two shoe salesmen go to a remote island to break into new markets. After a few days, one salesperson calls the office and says, ‘I’m on the next flight. Can’t sell shoes here. Everyone goes barefoot.’ The other salesperson sends an email to the boss minutes later: ‘Get ready! The prospects are unlimited. Nobody wears shoes here!’” – Unknown
14. “There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” – Kin Hubbard
15. “Hustle until your haters ask if you’re hiring.” – Steve Maraboli
16. “Customers are like teeth. Ignore them, and they’ll go away.” – Jerry Flanagan
17. “Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says, ‘Make me feel important.’ Not only will you succeed in sales, you will succeed in life.” – Mary Kay Ash
18. “On an important call late in the sales cycle, negotiations were getting intense. Neither side wanted to back down from the numbers that had been shared. But at a crucial point in the conversation, the party we were selling to forgot to hit the mute button on their conference line. We overheard them raving on and on about how much they liked the product, and we knew they were completely sold. Knowing this gave us the leverage we needed to close the deal on our terms. The moral of the story? Always check that mute button; it could save you some money.” – George Gallegos
19. “If you aren’t going all the way, why go at all?” – Joe Namath
20. “I love the winning, I can take the losing, but most of all I love to play.” – Boris Becker
21. “Do billboard salesmen record their sales on charts? If so, who’s at the top of the billboard charts for billboard sales?” – Ryan Lilly
22. “One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.” – Josh Billings
Short Funny Motivational Quotes
1. “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” – Winston Churchill
2. “The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.” – Abraham Lincoln
3. “Bad decisions make good stories.” – Ellis Vidler
4. “Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.” – Benjamin Franklin
5. “If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.” – Groucho Marx
6. “Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” – Will Rogers
7. “Every tattoo is temporary because we’re all slowly dying.” – Unknown
8. “We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.” – Bryan White
9. “Laugh a lot. It burns a lot of calories.” – Jessica Simpson
10. “If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.” – Derek Bok
11. “When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.” – Unknown
12. “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” – Charles Schulz
13. “I have a simple philosophy: Fill what is empty. Empty what is full. Scratch where it itches.” – Alice Roosevelt Longworth
14. “You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.” – Jack London
15. “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” – Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
16. “The best things in life are actually really expensive.” – Unknown
17. “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” – Elbert Hubbard
18. “A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor
19. “’Be yourself‘ is about the worst advice you can give some people.” – Thomas Lansing Masson
20. “I cannot afford to waste my time making money.” – Louis Agassiz21. “I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.” – H. Kyle Seale
22. “The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard
23. “If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough.” – Phyllis Diller
24. “Be happy – it drives people crazy.” – Unknown
25. “I drink to make other people more interesting.” – Ernest Hemingway
26. “A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.” – Justin Sewell
27. “Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested, and the frog dies of it.” – E. B. White
28. “I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise, and I have worms.” – Michael Scott
29. “Every artist was first an amateur.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
30. “Always remember that you are unique – just like everybody else.” – Unknown
31. “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” – Steve Martin
32. “If the world didn’t suck, we’d all fly into space.” – Unknown
33. “Live each day like it’s your second to the last. That way you can fall asleep at night.” – Jason Love
34. “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” – Cathy Guisewite
35. “Nothing is impossible; the word itself says ‘I’m possible!’” – Robert Bloch
36. “You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” – Robin Williams
37. “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” – Phyllis Diller
38. “Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.” – Mae West
39. “My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.” – Mitch Hedberg
40. “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
41. “If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?” – George Carlin
42. “My psychiatrist told me I was crazy, and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.” – Rodney Dangerfield
43. “The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.” – Harlan Ellison
Funny Motivational Exercise Quotes
1. “Fitness: If it came in a bottle, everyone would have a great body.” – Cher
2. “Life has its ups and downs. We call them squats.” – Unknown
3. “Those who think they have no time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness.” – Edward Stanley
4. “Stop waiting for Monday, January 1st, or anything else. Start now.” – Unknown
5. “Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.” – Mark Twain
6. “The same voice that says ‘give up’ can also be trained to say ‘keep going.’” – Unknown
7. “A person too busy to take care of their health, is like a mechanic too busy to take care of their tools.” – Unknown
8. “Exercise is king. Nutrition is queen. Put them together, and you’ve got a kingdom.” – Jack Lalanne
9. “Don’t wish for it – work for it.” – Unknown
10. “We don’t stop exercising because we grow old. We grow old because we stop exercising.” –Unknown
11. “Friday night. Party at the gym with my friends dumbbell and barbell.” – Unknown
12. “I got 99 problems, but I’m going to the gym to ignore all of them.” – Unknown
13. “Unless you puke, faint, or die, keep going!” – Jillian Michaels
14. “I only work out because I really, really like donuts.” – Unknown
15. “Don’t stop when you’re tired. Stop when you’re done.” – Unknown
16. “We don’t need to be perfect… we just need to get started.” – Unknown
17. “A healthy lifestyle is something we refine over time, not overnight.” – Unknown
18. “A year from now, you’ll wish you had started today.” – Unknown
19. “Take care of your body; it’s the only place you have to live.” – Jim Rohn
20. “You can’t out-train a bad diet.” – Unknown
21. “Our bodies are capable of anything… It’s our minds we have to convince.” – Unknown
22. “I’m sorry for what I said during burpees.” – Unknown23. “The decent method you follow is better than the perfect method you quit.” – Tim Ferris
24. “I train to be the best in the world on my worst day.” – Ronda Rousey
25. “Get comfortable with being uncomfortable!” – Jillian Michaels
26. “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” – Aristotle
27. “You make my knees weak. Just kidding. Yesterday was leg day.” – Unknown
28. “You don’t have to go fast… you just have to go.” – Unknown
29. “Hustle for that muscle.” – Unknown
30. “I don’t want to look skinny. I want to look like I could kick your butt.” – Unknown
31. “I hated every minute of training, but I thought to myself, ‘Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.’” – Muhammad Ali
32. “Weights before dates.” – Unknown
33. “I didn’t have the same fitness or ability as other girls, so I had to beat them with my mind.” – Martina Hingis
34. “I don’t sweat. I sparkle.” – Unknown
35. “Sore? Tired? Out of breath? Good… it’s working.” – Unknown
36. “Eat clean, stay fit, and have a burger to stay sane.” – Gigi Hadid
37. “Sweat is your fat crying.” – Unknown
38. “What seems impossible today will one day become your warm-up.” – Unknown
39. “Life is short. Lift heavy things.” – Unknown
40. “The best abs exercise is 5 sets of stop eating so much crap.” – Lazar Angelov
41. “Hi, baby abs!! I see you!!! I hope to meet your other ab friends soon (Yes, I’m talking to my muscles. I’ve never met most of them before).” – Khloe Kardashian
42. “Practice puts brains in your muscles.” – Sam Snead
43. “If you still look cute after working out, you didn’t go hard enough.” – Unknown
44. “I need to get in shape. If I were murdered right now, my chalk outline would be a circle.” – Unknown
45. “The best exercise is the one you actually do.” – Unknown
Funny Motivational Quotes About Weight Loss
1. “So you’re telling me creating an exercise board on Pinterest isn’t enough? I actually have to do the damn workouts?!!” – Unknown
2. “In the Middle Ages, they had guillotines, stretch racks, whips, and chains. Nowadays, we have a much more effective torture device called the bathroom scale.” – Stephen Phillips
3. “How to lose weight: Turn your head to the left, turn your head to the right. Repeat this exercise whenever food is offered.” – Unknown
4. “Here’s a weight loss secret you can pin… There are no secrets. Stop eating garbage and get off your ass.” – Unknown
5. “You’re not going to get the butt you want by sitting on it.” – Unknown
6. “It’s all fun & games until your jeans don’t fit.” – Unknown
7. “I wear black when I work out because it’s a funeral for my fat.” – Unknown
8. “I thought I lost weight, but it turns out my fu*king sweatpants had just come untied.” – Unknown
9. “Today’s weight loss tip: Use superglue as lip gloss.” – Unknown
10. “I keep trying to lose weight — but it keeps finding me.” – Unknown
11. “Squat like Ryan Gosling is behind you.” – Unknown
12. “Just do it. Even if you suck.” – Unknown
13. “Exercising would be so much more rewarding if calories screamed while you burned them.” – Unknown
14. “Exercise in the morning… before your body figures out what you’re doing.” – Unknown
15. “What’s my secret? Oh, I’m glad you asked. It’s this awesome new diet pill called get-the-hell-up-and-work-your-ass-off-every-damn-day!” – Unknown
16. “Don’t listen to your inner fat girl. She’s mad, grumpy, and misses cupcakes!” – Unknown
17. “There should be a calorie refund for things that didn’t taste as good as you expected.” – Unknown
18. “Imagine the weight you’re losing is going to the person you hate.” – Unknown
19. “’Wow, I really regret that workout.’ Said no one ever.” – Unknown
20. “I’m not overweight. I’m just nine inches too short.” – Shelley Winters
21. “Why does it take two weeks to take off three pounds and only two days to gain ’em back?” – Unknown
22. “Dear stomach, you are bored, not hungry. So shut up!” – Unknown23. “Run like Ryan Gosling is waiting for you at the finish line with a puppy.” – Unknown
24. “I run. I’m slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter. But I RUN.” – Unknown
25. “I wish I could lose weight as easy as I lose my keys, pen, temper, and my mind!” – Unknown
26. “Fat, I’m gonna burn you. I promise.” – Unknown
27. “Whenever I feel sad, I just go to my happy place. The fridge.” – Unknown
28. “My heart says chocolate and wine, but my jeans say, for the love of God, eat a salad!” – Unknown
29. “Sports are the reason I am out of shape. I watch them all on TV.” – Thomas Sowell
30. “I wish I was as overweight as the first time I thought I was overweight.” – Unknown
31. “Don’t work out because you hate your body — work out because you love it.” – Unknown
32. “If it’s true ‘You are what you eat,’ – I’m gonna need to eat a skinny person.” – Unknown
33. “My bathing suit told me to go to the gym, but then my sweatpants were like, ‘fu*k that!’” – Unknown
34. “Maybe she’s crazy. Maybe she just needs carbs. You just don’t know!” – Unknown
35. “Your body is not Amazon Prime. It’s not going to show up in two days.” – Unknown
36. “I’m not losing weight. I’m getting rid of it. I have no intention of finding it again.” – Unknown
37. “Halfway to weight loss goal. Boobs stick out further than stomach.” – Unknown
38. “To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.” – Mark Twain
39. “How do you reset your body back to its factory setting? Is it kale? It’s kale, isn’t it? Please don’t say it’s kale.” – Unknown
40. “Taking off a sweaty sports bra should count as resistance training.” – Unknown
41. “Losing weight is hard. Being overweight, unhealthy, and uncomfortable is hard. Choose your hard.” – Karen Salmansohn
42. “I lost some weight, but then I was like, ‘Oh shit… there it is!’” – Unknown
43. “I go to the gym because I think my great personality could use a banging body.” – Unknown
44. “My scale says I haven’t lost any weight. That lying bitch needs to die!” – Unknown
45. “I’m in shape. Round is a shape — isn’t it?” – Unknown
Funny Motivational Diet Quotes
1. “The first thing you lose on a diet is your sense of humor.” – Unknown
2. “Diet Day 1: I removed all of the unhealthy food from the house. It was delicious!” – Unknown
3. “My diet can be described as ‘Unsupervised child at a birthday party.’” – Unknown
4. “I need to start eating more healthy, but first I need to eat all the junk food in the house, so it’s not there to tempt me anymore.” – Unknown
5. “Reminder: Any food eaten while standing in front of the refrigerator still has calories. A plate is not what makes something fattening.” – Karen Salmansohn
6. “My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.” – Orson Welles
7. “If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?” – Unknown
8. “I need to hire someone just to follow me around and knock unhealthy food right out of my hands.” – Unknown
9. “My doctor said to eat more fruits and vegetables. An extra strawberry in my daiquiri and olive in my martini should do the trick.” – Unknown
10. “You are what you eat, so don’t be fast, cheap, easy, or fake.” – Unknown
11. “I’m on a liquid diet… After three drinks, I don’t give a shit what I weigh.” – Unknown
12. “I’ve been on a diet for two weeks, and all I’ve lost is 14 days.” – Totie Fields
13. “When you start eating food without labels, you no longer need to count the calories.” – Amanda Kraft
14. “The cardiologist’s diet: If it tastes good, spit it out.” – Unknown
15. “Dieting is easy. It’s like riding a bike. And the bike’s on fire. And the grounds on fire. And everything’s on fire because you’re in hell.” – Unknown
16. “I’m glad it’s the thought that counts because… I thought about going on a diet and working out before I ate an entire cake and took a nap.” – Unknown
17. “Why can’t I be comforted by kale? Why does it have to be chocolate?” – Karen Salmansohn
18. “Warning: Chocolate makes your clothes shrink.” – Unknown
19. “I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry.” – Unknown
20. “We’re the country that has more food to eat than any other country in the world, and with more diets to keep us from eating it.” – Unknown
21. “I think I just ate my willpower.” – Unknown
22. “Someone should open an ice cream shop with flavors like ‘Don’t be sad’ and ‘You deserve better.’” – Karen Salmansohn23. “Binge Excuse #27: I only eat the entire bag of chips in 1 sitting so I won’t be tempted to eat the chips later.” – Unknown
24. “I’m just a girl standing in front of a salad… asking it to be a donut.” – Unknown
25. “Stop rewarding yourself with food. You are not a dog.” – Unknown
26. “Fact: Bananas are 75% water and 100% not chocolate.” – Unknown
27. “Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Coincidence? I think not!” – Unknown
28. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.” – Unknown
29. “Don’t allow a problem you’re having with a person to become an eating problem. Stop trying to stuff down your feelings with food.” – Karen Salmansohn
30. “Studies repeatedly show that NOW is the best time of day for you to start that healthier diet.” – Unknown
31. “Cut carbs? Sure, I can do that… *slices bread*.” – Unknown
32. “Oops. You caught me eating my feelings. And they taste delicious.” – Unknown
33. “I need to practice social distancing from the refrigerator.” – Unknown
34. “Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.” – Unknown
35. “I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge. Ooops.” – Karen Salmansohn
36. “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.” – Michael Pollan
37. “A journey of a thousand miles begins with eating bad carbs at the airport.” – Unknown
38. “Maybe you should try that new diet. I think it’s called, ‘stop eating tons of crap and get off your ass.’” – Unknown
39. “Eating healthy food fills your body with energy and nutrients. Imagine your cells smiling back at you saying ‘Thank you!’” – Karen Salmansohn
40. “Today, I bought a cupcake without the sprinkles. Diets are hard.” – Unknown
41. “Some things you have to do every day. Eating seven apples on Saturday night instead of one a day just isn’t going to get the job done.” – Jim Rohn
42. “Today, I will live in the moment. Unless it’s unpleasant. In which case I will eat a cupcake.” – Unknown
43. “Whatever your problem is, the answer is not in the fridge.” – Karen Salmansohn
44. “Reminder: Food is fuel. Not therapy.” – Unknown
45. “My wife is a light eater. As soon as it’s light, she starts to eat.” – Henny Youngman
Funny Inspirational Birthday Quotes
1. “As you get older, three things happen: The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” – Norman Wisdom
2. “Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and it said that I need an upgrade.” – Unknown
3. “You know you’ve aged when you read events you lived through in a history book.” – Will Ferrell
4. “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” – Lucille Ball
5. “This birthday when someone refers to your many years, you can just tell them you are now a classic, and classics are priceless.” – Catherine Pulsifer
6. “Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.” – Kin Hubbard
7. “The good thing about getting older is if you don’t want to do something, you can say, ‘I’m too old to do that!’” – Kate Summers
8. “Eventually, you reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.” – Will Rogers
9. “You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” – Bob Hope
10. “We don’t grow old. When we cease to grow, we become old.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
11. “After 30, a body has a mind of its own.” – Bette Midler
12. “As you get older, though, you realize there are fire extinguishers. You do have an ability to control the flames.” – Chaka Khan
13. “Middle age is when a narrow waist and a broad mind begin to change places.” – Unknown
14. “When you turn thirty, a whole new thing happens: you see yourself acting like your parents.” – Blair Sabol
15. “Whether you live to be 50 or 100 makes no difference if you made no difference in the world.” – Jarod Kintz
16. “Life seems to fade our memory, so on this birthday, I will forget yours if you forget mine!” – Kate Summers
17. “Today is the oldest you have been and the youngest you will ever be. Make the most of it!” – Nicky Gumbel
18. “Turning the big 40, well, that can seem like a blow. No worries though, as 50 will be here before you know!” – Catherine Pulsifer
19. “Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do about it.” – Golda Meir
20. “Age may wrinkle the face, but lack of enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.” – Danish Proverb
21. “Don’t just count your years, make your years count.” – George Meredith
22. “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” – Mark Twain
23. “Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you’re alive, it isn’t.” – Richard Bach
24. “They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.” – Unknown
25. “You’ve heard of the three ages of man: youth, middle age, and you’re looking wonderful.” – Cardinal Spellman
26. “You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” – Woody Allen
27. “We must both, I’m afraid, recognize that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary.” – C. S. Lewis
28. “You look 22, you feel like 18, you act like you’re 10, guess that makes you 50. Never change! Happy 50th.” – Unknown
29. “You’re not as young as you used to be. But you’re not as old as you’re going to be.” – Irish Saying
30. “Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night, and the telephone rings, and you hope it isn’t for you.” – Ogden Nash
Funny Motivational Quotes From Movies
1. “The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?” – Captain Jack Sparrow
2. “I learned a long time ago that worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.” – National Lampoon’s Van Wilder
3. “The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.” – The Wolf Of Wall Street
4. “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” – Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
5. “I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.” – Robin Williams
6. “A wise man can learn more from his enemies than a fool from his friends.” – Rush
7. “Life is not a PG feel-good movie. Real life often ends badly. Literature tries to document this reality while showing us it is still possible for us to endure nobly.” – The Silver Linings Playbook
8. “The way it works is, you do the thing you’re scared shitless of, and you get the courage AFTER you do it, not before you do it.” – Three Kings
9. “All worries are less with wine.” – Wealth Of Words
10. “The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all.” – The Princess Diaries
11. “Remember those posters that said, ‘Today is the first day of the rest of your life?’ Well, that’s true of every day but one…the day you die.” – American Beauty
12. “You can watch me, mock me, try to block me, but you cannot stop me.” – The Wolf Of Wall Street
13. “There’s no such thing as too far. You understand? You push everything as far as you can. You push, and you push, and you push until it starts pushing back. And then you push some goddamn more.” – Two For The Money
14. “Two little mice fell in a bucket of cream. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned. The second mouse wouldn’t quit. He struggled so hard that eventually he churned that cream into butter and crawled out.” – Catch Me If You Can
15. “Life is hard, and children have to be told how hard life can be…So they will be sympathetic to others. So they will understand that some people have it harder than they do and that a trip through this world can be a wildly different experience, depending on what chemicals are raging through one’s mind.” – The Silver Linings Playbook
16. “When will the lesson be learned! You cannot reason with a tiger when your head is in its mouth!” – Darkest Hour
17. “Get busy living, or get busy dying.” – The Shawshank Redemption
Life Is Better When You’re Laughing
Life is full of ups and downs, but one thing is for sure: Life is better when you’re laughing. I hope these funny motivational quotes made you laugh and taught you something new.
If you ask me, these three things are all I need to make me feel better within seconds: funny inspirational life quotes, memes, and inspiring people with a great sense of humor.
Oh, I forgot one thing. Diving into the sea of the funniest love quotes is also a must when you’re feeling stuck in life (and when you don’t), so here’s one to wrap it all up with:
“Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn’t show up on x-rays, but you know it’s there.” – George Burns