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320 Funny Motivational Quotes To Inspire You & Make You Laugh

320 Funny Motivational Quotes To Inspire You & Make You Laugh

Whenever you’re feeling stuck in life, funny motivational quotes will inspire you to keep moving forward. These quotes will brighten your day and remind you that motivation is one of the most powerful forces in the universe.

They will teach you some valuable lessons:​​​​

  • If you believe you can achieve something, you will.
  • Bad decisions are a part of success.
  • Life is so much easier with a sense of humor.

From funny motivational quotes for work to funny inspirational quotes on life, these funny words of wisdom will not only make you laugh but also help you reduce stress and boost your motivation.

Are you ready? I bet you are.

Funny Inspirational Quotes About Life And Happiness

1. “Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s more like a cha-cha.” – Robert Brault

2. “Never follow anyone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost.” – Ellen DeGeneres

3. “It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by then I was too famous.” – Robert Benchley

4. “Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.” – Gertrude Stein

5. “You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.” – Sam Levenson

6. “I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.” – Mitch Hedberg

7. “My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far, I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.” – Dave Barry

8. “The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it.” – Groucho Marx

9. “Luck is what you have left over after you give 100 percent.” – Langston Coleman

10. “I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.” – Ron White

11. “Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.” – Sam Levenson

12. “Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.” – Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach

13. “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde

14. “A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.” – Mark Twain

15. “Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget tossing in the lifeboats.” – Voltaire

16. “Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.” – Will Rogers

17. “To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.” – Reba McEntire18. “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” – Terry Pratchett

19. “If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.” – Yogi Berra

20. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing—that’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar

21. “I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.” – Groucho Marx

22. “When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’” – Sydney Harris

23. “We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.” – George Bernard Shaw

24. “Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.“ – Marilyn Monroe

25. “Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” – Tom Lehrer

26. “Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.” – Albert Einstein

27. “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.” – Charles Schulz

28. “Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.” – Isaac Asimov

29. “It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.” – Ashleigh Brilliant

30. “The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.” – Albert Einstein

31. “Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.” – Franklin P. Jones

32. “Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.” – Billie Burke

33. “I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” – Unknown

34. “Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.” – Mark Twain

Funny Motivational Quotes About Work

1. “The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” – Robert Frost

2. “Every day, I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” – Robert Orben

3. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde

4. “Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there.” – Josh Billings

5. “My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.” – Unknown

6. “Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.” – Oscar Wilde

7. “To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.” – Steven Wright

8. “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” – Will Rogers

9. “The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx

10. “It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower

11. “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” – Bill Gates

12. “I always give 100% at work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.” – Unknown

13. “It takes less time to do a thing right than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

14. “People who never do any more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.” – Elbert Hubbard

15. “Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” – George Carlin

16. “I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” – Benjamin Franklin

17. “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” – Edgar Bergen

18. “As I have gotten older and wiser, I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Payday, lunchtime, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” – Tom Goins

19. “My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.” – Unknown

20. “People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The problem is they want a week’s pay for it.” – Joey Adams

21. “I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” – Jerome K. Jerome

22. “If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.” – Albert Einstein

23. “Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.” – Charlie McCarthy

24. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison

25. “Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” – Scott Adams

26. “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey

27. “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.” – Mark Twain

28. “A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job.” – Zig Ziglar

29. “Coworkers are like Christmas lights. They hang together, half of them don’t work, and the other half aren’t so bright.” – Unknown

30. “Where people aren’t having fun, they seldom produce good work.” – David Ogilvy

31. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” – Dalai Lama

32. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin

33. “If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” – Woody Allen

34. “The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.” – Vince Lombardi

35. “An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault.” – William Castle

36. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” – Robert Frost

37. “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.” – Joe Girard

38. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” – A.A. Milne

39. “Opportunity does not knock; it presents itself when you beat down the door.” – Kyle Chandler

Funny Motivational Sales Quotes

1. “The biggest challenge in business is not the competition; it’s what goes on inside your own head.” – Barbara Corcoran

2. “Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.” –Napoleon Bonaparte

3. “My sales objective is to get my prospects to look at my products the same way I look at bacon.” – Kurt Mortensen

4. “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” – Wayne Gretzky

5. “When you’re good at something, you’ll tell everyone. When you’re great at something, they’ll tell you.” – Walter Payton

6. “I design, manufacture, distribute, and sell elevator buttons. I specialize in the fourth floor. And I don’t mean to brag, but I’m such a good salesman that I could sell one of my fourth-floor elevator buttons to the owner of a three-story building. I’m also into Jazz. I make elevator music in my free time. My motto in life: You can’t push my buttons if you don’t buy them.” – Jarod Kintz

7. “You can’t just ask customers what they want and then try to give that to them. By the time you get it built, they’ll want something new.” – Steve Jobs

8. “Business opportunities are like buses; there’s always another one coming.” – Richard Branson

9. “On any given Monday, I am one sale closer and one idea away from being a millionaire.” – Larry D. Turner

10. “You just can’t beat the person who never gives up.” – Babe Ruth

11. “I attribute my success to this: I never gave or took any excuse.” – Florence Nightingale

12. “[Sales is] trying to get to a decision. Now, preferably a yes, but sometimes a quick no is almost as good an answer. But a long no maybe will kill you.” – Alston Gardner

13. “Two shoe salesmen go to a remote island to break into new markets. After a few days, one salesperson calls the office and says, ‘I’m on the next flight. Can’t sell shoes here. Everyone goes barefoot.’ The other salesperson sends an email to the boss minutes later: ‘Get ready! The prospects are unlimited. Nobody wears shoes here!’” – Unknown

14. “There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” – Kin Hubbard

15. “Hustle until your haters ask if you’re hiring.” – Steve Maraboli

16. “Customers are like teeth. Ignore them, and they’ll go away.” – Jerry Flanagan

17. “Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says, ‘Make me feel important.’ Not only will you succeed in sales, you will succeed in life.” – Mary Kay Ash

18. “On an important call late in the sales cycle, negotiations were getting intense. Neither side wanted to back down from the numbers that had been shared. But at a crucial point in the conversation, the party we were selling to forgot to hit the mute button on their conference line. We overheard them raving on and on about how much they liked the product, and we knew they were completely sold. Knowing this gave us the leverage we needed to close the deal on our terms. The moral of the story? Always check that mute button; it could save you some money.” – George Gallegos

19. “If you aren’t going all the way, why go at all?” – Joe Namath

20. “I love the winning, I can take the losing, but most of all I love to play.” – Boris Becker

21. “Do billboard salesmen record their sales on charts? If so, who’s at the top of the billboard charts for billboard sales?” – Ryan Lilly

22. “One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.” – Josh Billings

Short Funny Motivational Quotes

1. “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” – Winston Churchill

2. “The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.” – Abraham Lincoln

3. “Bad decisions make good stories.” – Ellis Vidler

4. “Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.” – Benjamin Franklin

5. “If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.” – Groucho Marx

6. “Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” – Will Rogers

7. “Every tattoo is temporary because we’re all slowly dying.” – Unknown

8. “We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.” – Bryan White

9. “Laugh a lot. It burns a lot of calories.” – Jessica Simpson

10. “If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.” – Derek Bok

11. “When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.” – Unknown

12. “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” – Charles Schulz

13. “I have a simple philosophy: Fill what is empty. Empty what is full. Scratch where it itches.” – Alice Roosevelt Longworth

14. “You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.” – Jack London

15. “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” – Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

16. “The best things in life are actually really expensive.” – Unknown

17. “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” – Elbert Hubbard

18. “A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor

19. “’Be yourself‘ is about the worst advice you can give some people.” – Thomas Lansing Masson

20. “I cannot afford to waste my time making money.” – Louis Agassiz21. “I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.” – H. Kyle Seale

22. “The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.” – Kin Hubbard

23. “If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough.” – Phyllis Diller

24. “Be happy  –  it drives people crazy.” – Unknown

25. “I drink to make other people more interesting.” – Ernest Hemingway

26. “A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.” – Justin Sewell

27. “Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested, and the frog dies of it.” – E. B. White

28. “I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise, and I have worms.” – Michael Scott

29. “Every artist was first an amateur.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

30. “Always remember that you are unique  –  just like everybody else.” – Unknown

31. “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” – Steve Martin

32. “If the world didn’t suck, we’d all fly into space.” – Unknown

33. “Live each day like it’s your second to the last. That way you can fall asleep at night.” – Jason Love

34. “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” – Cathy Guisewite

35. “Nothing is impossible; the word itself says ‘I’m possible!’” – Robert Bloch

36. “You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” – Robin Williams

37. “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” – Phyllis Diller

38. “Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.” – Mae West

39. “My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.” – Mitch Hedberg

40. “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson

41. “If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?” – George Carlin

42. “My psychiatrist told me I was crazy, and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.” – Rodney Dangerfield

43. “The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.” – Harlan Ellison

Funny Motivational Exercise Quotes

1. “Fitness: If it came in a bottle, everyone would have a great body.” – Cher

2. “Life has its ups and downs. We call them squats.” – Unknown

3. “Those who think they have no time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness.” – Edward Stanley

4. “Stop waiting for Monday, January 1st, or anything else. Start now.” – Unknown

5. “Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.” – Mark Twain

6. “The same voice that says ‘give up’ can also be trained to say ‘keep going.’” – Unknown

7. “A person too busy to take care of their health, is like a mechanic too busy to take care of their tools.” – Unknown

8. “Exercise is king. Nutrition is queen. Put them together, and you’ve got a kingdom.” – Jack Lalanne

9. “Don’t wish for it – work for it.” – Unknown

10. “We don’t stop exercising because we grow old. We grow old because we stop exercising.” –Unknown

11. “Friday night. Party at the gym with my friends dumbbell and barbell.” – Unknown

12. “I got 99 problems, but I’m going to the gym to ignore all of them.” – Unknown

13. “Unless you puke, faint, or die, keep going!” – Jillian Michaels

14. “I only work out because I really, really like donuts.” – Unknown

15. “Don’t stop when you’re tired. Stop when you’re done.” – Unknown

16. “We don’t need to be perfect… we just need to get started.” – Unknown

17. “A healthy lifestyle is something we refine over time, not overnight.” – Unknown

18. “A year from now, you’ll wish you had started today.” – Unknown

19. “Take care of your body; it’s the only place you have to live.” – Jim Rohn

20. “You can’t out-train a bad diet.” – Unknown

21. “Our bodies are capable of anything… It’s our minds we have to convince.” – Unknown

22. “I’m sorry for what I said during burpees.” – Unknown23. “The decent method you follow is better than the perfect method you quit.” – Tim Ferris

24. “I train to be the best in the world on my worst day.” – Ronda Rousey

25. “Get comfortable with being uncomfortable!” – Jillian Michaels

26. “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” – Aristotle

27. “You make my knees weak. Just kidding. Yesterday was leg day.” – Unknown

28. “You don’t have to go fast… you just have to go.” – Unknown

29. “Hustle for that muscle.” – Unknown

30. “I don’t want to look skinny. I want to look like I could kick your butt.” – Unknown

31. “I hated every minute of training, but I thought to myself, ‘Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.’” – Muhammad Ali

32. “Weights before dates.” – Unknown

33. “I didn’t have the same fitness or ability as other girls, so I had to beat them with my mind.” – Martina Hingis

34. “I don’t sweat. I sparkle.” – Unknown

35. “Sore? Tired? Out of breath? Good… it’s working.” – Unknown

36. “Eat clean, stay fit, and have a burger to stay sane.” – Gigi Hadid

37. “Sweat is your fat crying.” – Unknown

38. “What seems impossible today will one day become your warm-up.” – Unknown

39. “Life is short. Lift heavy things.” – Unknown

40. “The best abs exercise is 5 sets of stop eating so much crap.” – Lazar Angelov

41. “Hi, baby abs!! I see you!!! I hope to meet your other ab friends soon (Yes, I’m talking to my muscles. I’ve never met most of them before).” – Khloe Kardashian

42. “Practice puts brains in your muscles.” – Sam Snead

43. “If you still look cute after working out, you didn’t go hard enough.” – Unknown

44. “I need to get in shape. If I were murdered right now, my chalk outline would be a circle.” – Unknown

45. “The best exercise is the one you actually do.” – Unknown

Funny Motivational Quotes About Weight Loss

1. “So you’re telling me creating an exercise board on Pinterest isn’t enough? I actually have to do the damn workouts?!!” – Unknown

2. “In the Middle Ages, they had guillotines, stretch racks, whips, and chains. Nowadays, we have a much more effective torture device called the bathroom scale.” – Stephen Phillips

3. “How to lose weight: Turn your head to the left, turn your head to the right. Repeat this exercise whenever food is offered.” – Unknown

4. “Here’s a weight loss secret you can pin… There are no secrets. Stop eating garbage and get off your ass.” – Unknown

5. “You’re not going to get the butt you want by sitting on it.” – Unknown

6. “It’s all fun & games until your jeans don’t fit.” – Unknown

7. “I wear black when I work out because it’s a funeral for my fat.” – Unknown

8. “I thought I lost weight, but it turns out my fu*king sweatpants had just come untied.” – Unknown

9. “Today’s weight loss tip: Use superglue as lip gloss.” – Unknown

10. “I keep trying to lose weight — but it keeps finding me.” – Unknown

11. “Squat like Ryan Gosling is behind you.” – Unknown

12. “Just do it. Even if you suck.” – Unknown

13. “Exercising would be so much more rewarding if calories screamed while you burned them.” – Unknown

14. “Exercise in the morning… before your body figures out what you’re doing.” – Unknown

15. “What’s my secret? Oh, I’m glad you asked. It’s this awesome new diet pill called get-the-hell-up-and-work-your-ass-off-every-damn-day!” – Unknown

16. “Don’t listen to your inner fat girl. She’s mad, grumpy, and misses cupcakes!” – Unknown

17. “There should be a calorie refund for things that didn’t taste as good as you expected.” – Unknown

18. “Imagine the weight you’re losing is going to the person you hate.” – Unknown

19. “’Wow, I really regret that workout.’ Said no one ever.” – Unknown

20. “I’m not overweight. I’m just nine inches too short.” – Shelley Winters

21. “Why does it take two weeks to take off three pounds and only two days to gain ’em back?” – Unknown

22. “Dear stomach, you are bored, not hungry. So shut up!” – Unknown23. “Run like Ryan Gosling is waiting for you at the finish line with a puppy.” – Unknown

24. “I run. I’m slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter. But I RUN.” – Unknown

25. “I wish I could lose weight as easy as I lose my keys, pen, temper, and my mind!” – Unknown

26. “Fat, I’m gonna burn you. I promise.” – Unknown

27. “Whenever I feel sad, I just go to my happy place. The fridge.” – Unknown

28. “My heart says chocolate and wine, but my jeans say, for the love of God, eat a salad!” – Unknown

29. “Sports are the reason I am out of shape. I watch them all on TV.” – Thomas Sowell

30. “I wish I was as overweight as the first time I thought I was overweight.” – Unknown

31. “Don’t work out because you hate your body — work out because you love it.” – Unknown

32. “If it’s true ‘You are what you eat,’ – I’m gonna need to eat a skinny person.” – Unknown

33. “My bathing suit told me to go to the gym, but then my sweatpants were like, ‘fu*k that!’” – Unknown

34. “Maybe she’s crazy. Maybe she just needs carbs. You just don’t know!” – Unknown

35. “Your body is not Amazon Prime. It’s not going to show up in two days.” – Unknown

36. “I’m not losing weight. I’m getting rid of it. I have no intention of finding it again.” – Unknown

37. “Halfway to weight loss goal. Boobs stick out further than stomach.” – Unknown

38. “To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.” – Mark Twain

39. “How do you reset your body back to its factory setting? Is it kale? It’s kale, isn’t it? Please don’t say it’s kale.” – Unknown

40. “Taking off a sweaty sports bra should count as resistance training.” – Unknown

41. “Losing weight is hard. Being overweight, unhealthy, and uncomfortable is hard. Choose your hard.” – Karen Salmansohn

42. “I lost some weight, but then I was like, ‘Oh shit… there it is!’” – Unknown

43. “I go to the gym because I think my great personality could use a banging body.” – Unknown

44. “My scale says I haven’t lost any weight. That lying bitch needs to die!” – Unknown

45. “I’m in shape. Round is a shape — isn’t it?” – Unknown

Funny Motivational Diet Quotes

1. “The first thing you lose on a diet is your sense of humor.” – Unknown

2. “Diet Day 1: I removed all of the unhealthy food from the house. It was delicious!” – Unknown

3. “My diet can be described as ‘Unsupervised child at a birthday party.’” – Unknown

4. “I need to start eating more healthy, but first I need to eat all the junk food in the house, so it’s not there to tempt me anymore.” – Unknown

5. “Reminder: Any food eaten while standing in front of the refrigerator still has calories. A plate is not what makes something fattening.” – Karen Salmansohn

6. “My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.” – Orson Welles

7. “If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?” – Unknown

8. “I need to hire someone just to follow me around and knock unhealthy food right out of my hands.” – Unknown

9. “My doctor said to eat more fruits and vegetables. An extra strawberry in my daiquiri and olive in my martini should do the trick.” – Unknown

10. “You are what you eat, so don’t be fast, cheap, easy, or fake.” – Unknown

11. “I’m on a liquid diet… After three drinks, I don’t give a shit what I weigh.” – Unknown

12. “I’ve been on a diet for two weeks, and all I’ve lost is 14 days.” – Totie Fields

13. “When you start eating food without labels, you no longer need to count the calories.” – Amanda Kraft

14. “The cardiologist’s diet: If it tastes good, spit it out.” – Unknown

15. “Dieting is easy. It’s like riding a bike. And the bike’s on fire. And the grounds on fire. And everything’s on fire because you’re in hell.” – Unknown

16. “I’m glad it’s the thought that counts because… I thought about going on a diet and working out before I ate an entire cake and took a nap.” – Unknown

17. “Why can’t I be comforted by kale? Why does it have to be chocolate?” – Karen Salmansohn

18. “Warning: Chocolate makes your clothes shrink.” – Unknown

19. “I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry.” – Unknown

20. “We’re the country that has more food to eat than any other country in the world, and with more diets to keep us from eating it.” – Unknown

21. “I think I just ate my willpower.” – Unknown

22. “Someone should open an ice cream shop with flavors like ‘Don’t be sad’ and ‘You deserve better.’” – Karen Salmansohn23. “Binge Excuse #27: I only eat the entire bag of chips in 1 sitting so I won’t be tempted to eat the chips later.” – Unknown

24. “I’m just a girl standing in front of a salad… asking it to be a donut.” – Unknown

25. “Stop rewarding yourself with food. You are not a dog.” – Unknown

26. “Fact: Bananas are 75% water and 100% not chocolate.” – Unknown

27. “Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Coincidence? I think not!” – Unknown

28. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.” – Unknown

29. “Don’t allow a problem you’re having with a person to become an eating problem. Stop trying to stuff down your feelings with food.” – Karen Salmansohn

30. “Studies repeatedly show that NOW is the best time of day for you to start that healthier diet.” – Unknown

31. “Cut carbs? Sure, I can do that… *slices bread*.” – Unknown

32. “Oops. You caught me eating my feelings. And they taste delicious.” – Unknown

33. “I need to practice social distancing from the refrigerator.” – Unknown

34. “Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.” – Unknown

35. “I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge. Ooops.” – Karen Salmansohn

36. “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.” – Michael Pollan

37. “A journey of a thousand miles begins with eating bad carbs at the airport.” – Unknown

38. “Maybe you should try that new diet. I think it’s called, ‘stop eating tons of crap and get off your ass.’” – Unknown

39. “Eating healthy food fills your body with energy and nutrients. Imagine your cells smiling back at you saying ‘Thank you!’” – Karen Salmansohn

40. “Today, I bought a cupcake without the sprinkles. Diets are hard.” – Unknown

41. “Some things you have to do every day. Eating seven apples on Saturday night instead of one a day just isn’t going to get the job done.” – Jim Rohn

42. “Today, I will live in the moment. Unless it’s unpleasant. In which case I will eat a cupcake.” – Unknown

43. “Whatever your problem is, the answer is not in the fridge.” – Karen Salmansohn

44. “Reminder: Food is fuel. Not therapy.” – Unknown

45. “My wife is a light eater. As soon as it’s light, she starts to eat.” – Henny Youngman

Funny Inspirational Birthday Quotes

1. “As you get older, three things happen: The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” – Norman Wisdom

2. “Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and it said that I need an upgrade.” – Unknown

3. “You know you’ve aged when you read events you lived through in a history book.” – Will Ferrell

4. “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” – Lucille Ball

5. “This birthday when someone refers to your many years, you can just tell them you are now a classic, and classics are priceless.” – Catherine Pulsifer

funny motivational quotes

6. “Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.” – Kin Hubbard

7. “The good thing about getting older is if you don’t want to do something, you can say, ‘I’m too old to do that!’” – Kate Summers

8. “Eventually, you reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.” – Will Rogers

9. “You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” – Bob Hope

10. “We don’t grow old. When we cease to grow, we become old.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

11. “After 30, a body has a mind of its own.” – Bette Midler

12. “As you get older, though, you realize there are fire extinguishers. You do have an ability to control the flames.” – Chaka Khan

13. “Middle age is when a narrow waist and a broad mind begin to change places.” – Unknown

14. “When you turn thirty, a whole new thing happens: you see yourself acting like your parents.” – Blair Sabol

15. “Whether you live to be 50 or 100 makes no difference if you made no difference in the world.” – Jarod Kintz

16. “Life seems to fade our memory, so on this birthday, I will forget yours if you forget mine!” – Kate Summers

17. “Today is the oldest you have been and the youngest you will ever be. Make the most of it!” – Nicky Gumbel

18. “Turning the big 40, well, that can seem like a blow. No worries though, as 50 will be here before you know!” – Catherine Pulsifer

19. “Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do about it.” – Golda Meir

20. “Age may wrinkle the face, but lack of enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.” – Danish Proverb

21. “Don’t just count your years, make your years count.” – George Meredith

22. “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” – Mark Twain

23. “Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you’re alive, it isn’t.” – Richard Bach

24. “They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.” – Unknown

25. “You’ve heard of the three ages of man: youth, middle age, and you’re looking wonderful.” – Cardinal Spellman

26. “You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” – Woody Allen

27. “We must both, I’m afraid, recognize that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary.” – C. S. Lewis

28. “You look 22, you feel like 18, you act like you’re 10, guess that makes you 50. Never change! Happy 50th.” – Unknown

29. “You’re not as young as you used to be. But you’re not as old as you’re going to be.” – Irish Saying

30. “Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night, and the telephone rings, and you hope it isn’t for you.” – Ogden Nash

Funny Motivational Quotes From Movies

1. “The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?” – Captain Jack Sparrow

2. “I learned a long time ago that worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.” – National Lampoon’s Van Wilder

3. “The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.” – The Wolf Of Wall Street

4. “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” – Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

5. “I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.” – Robin Williams

6. “A wise man can learn more from his enemies than a fool from his friends.” – Rush

7. “Life is not a PG feel-good movie. Real life often ends badly. Literature tries to document this reality while showing us it is still possible for us to endure nobly.” – The Silver Linings Playbook

8. “The way it works is, you do the thing you’re scared shitless of, and you get the courage AFTER you do it, not before you do it.” – Three Kings

9. “All worries are less with wine.” – Wealth Of Words

10. “The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all.” – The Princess Diaries

11. “Remember those posters that said, ‘Today is the first day of the rest of your life?’ Well, that’s true of every day but one…the day you die.” – American Beauty

12. “You can watch me, mock me, try to block me, but you cannot stop me.” – The Wolf Of Wall Street

13. “There’s no such thing as too far. You understand? You push everything as far as you can. You push, and you push, and you push until it starts pushing back. And then you push some goddamn more.” – Two For The Money

14. “Two little mice fell in a bucket of cream. The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned. The second mouse wouldn’t quit. He struggled so hard that eventually he churned that cream into butter and crawled out.” – Catch Me If You Can

15. “Life is hard, and children have to be told how hard life can be…So they will be sympathetic to others. So they will understand that some people have it harder than they do and that a trip through this world can be a wildly different experience, depending on what chemicals are raging through one’s mind.” – The Silver Linings Playbook

16. “When will the lesson be learned! You cannot reason with a tiger when your head is in its mouth!” – Darkest Hour

17. “Get busy living, or get busy dying.” – The Shawshank Redemption

Life Is Better When You’re Laughing

Life is full of ups and downs, but one thing is for sure: Life is better when you’re laughing. I hope these funny motivational quotes made you laugh and taught you something new.

If you ask me, these three things are all I need to make me feel better within seconds: funny inspirational life quotes, memes, and inspiring people with a great sense of humor.

Oh, I forgot one thing. Diving into the sea of the funniest love quotes is also a must when you’re feeling stuck in life (and when you don’t), so here’s one to wrap it all up with:

“Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn’t show up on x-rays, but you know it’s there.” – George Burns

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