Today, being friends with benefits is almost a completely natural thing.
An FWB relationship is the simplest way for two best friends to engage in casual sex with no strings attached.
A committed relationship is sometimes just not possible due to a hectic lifestyle, so a hookup with a good friend or coworker is just the thing you need to let off some steam.
So what does FWB stand for?
I’m sure you’re all familiar with the fuck-buddy system (which is a purely sexual relationship).
FWB is internet slang that is basically an acronym for friends with benefits.
It’s two best friends (or just really good friends) who get together on a regular basis for a hookup.
FWB definition is the opposite of a monogamous relationship.
While a romantic relationship includes feelings and conversations about where it is going, the very definition of FWB is a fully casual relationship.
One of the popular slang terms for an FWB relationship is also NSA (no-strings-attached).
If two best friends have an FWB thing going, it means they’ve decided to casually see each other on a sexual basis, rid of all emotions.
A friends with benefits relationship presupposes an existing meaningful relationship between the two individuals, which is a little bit different from a fuck buddy relationship, as that one doesn’t have to include any closeness between partners, whereas being friends with benefits emphasizes the friendship.
While a serious relationship includes commitment and dedication, the only thing FWB requires of you is to be eligible for a hookup at a designated time.
Can An FWB Relationship Work?
It can if there are ground rules that both parties uphold.
You cannot be FWB without setting firm rules that will help you navigate your relationship.
Being FWB means respecting the fuck-buddy system while not endangering the friendship you already have.
As previously stated, in an FWB situation, there’s no going home and not calling this person until you’re in the mood again.
There is a friendship to nurture and that leaves room for hurt feelings at some point.
Don’t forget that the real FWB meaning is friends with benefits.
Therefore, if you’re not ready to mix your friendship with casual sex, it’s best not to engage in this casual relationship.
A friends with benefits relationship only works if the friendship is strong enough that you can make a clear distinction where the friendship and sex merge and not let it get blurred.
And how do you manage that? Simple; by making it all about sex.
When you get together for a hookup, there is no cuddling and kissing.
It’s all about alleviating the stress of the day by engaging in a fun, comfortable sexual relationship.
After the sex part is done, you’re back to being best friends and proceed as you normally would.
Cuddling enhances the bond between people, which is why it’s of the essence to avoid it. Being emotionally neutral is your best bet, along with a clear set of rules you both need to follow blindly.
11 Rules Of Being Friends With Benefits
At first, being FWB sounds like the sweetest deal.
A sexual relationship between two best friends with no strings attached is more than anyone can dream of.
You love this person (in a friend way) and you trust them completely.
And to top it all off, they provide you with mind-blowingly amazing sex. So what can go wrong? A lot.
Being FWB carries a lot of weight you’re not aware of. After all, you’re both only human.
How can you guarantee that one of you won’t develop feelings for the other? You can’t.
And therein lies the risk of being FWB.
It can be done but you have to be able to communicate with each other. No sulking, no passive-aggressiveness and no childish tantrums.
You both need to know exactly what you’re getting yourselves into and act accordingly, otherwise, it’s doomed from the start.
Both of you must be on the same page to maximize the pleasure and minimize the miscommunication.
To help you set some clear guidelines on being friends with benefits, I’ve talked to experts on FWB matters and collected the best bits to help you experience a great FWB relationship.
Here’s your best chance of making it work and maintaining your friendship in the midst of your FWB adventure.
1. Advocate for your needs
This isn’t about being cool and just going along with whatever your best friend suggests. No. Be clear about what you want.
Don’t be afraid to speak your mind. If you don’t, you won’t enjoy it as much as you should.
After all, being FWB is all about having FUN. Don’t ruin it from the get-go by not being clear about your needs.
Friends with benefits need to respect each other’s wishes and find a middle ground.
Just because this is about casual sex, it doesn’t mean you need to be casual about setting the rules.
Have a clear conversation with your friend and find a solution that will make both of you happy.
At the end of the day, if you’re not enjoying yourselves, what’s the point?
2. Be aware that this isn’t a committed relationship
Never go into an FWB situation with an ulterior motive. Don’t be that person.
If you’re adamant to make the most of your NSA deal without getting emotionally involved, remove any thoughts of romantic relationships and monogamous relationships from your mind right now.
It’s not fair to either one of you. If you made a deal to never be texting about your emotions or the status of your relationship, respect that.
Remain friends and reap the benefits!
If you can’t, perhaps you’re not emotionally or mentally ready for this yet.
You know the meaning of FWB but can you live according to its rules?
3. Discuss your FWB arrangement occasionally
Before entering the FWB waters, agree to have an occasional conversation about how both of you are feeling.
Check in with your best friend and vice versa. See how they are and if there’s anything on their mind.
You both know what FWB means but that doesn’t exclude the possibility of emotions creeping up on one of you.
To make sure you’re both still on the same page and committed to making your FWB relationship work, have a heart-to-heart every now and again.
If one of you is starting to get attached or if there’s a need to spend even more time together, get together and discuss how to proceed.
Honest communication is always your best chance of success, whichever route you end up going.
4. Take your friend’s feelings into account
This is your friend we’re talking about, so you can get a pretty good read on them, right? Don’t ignore the vibe they’re giving out.
If you notice any sudden changes in their behavior, acknowledge it.
It isn’t ideal but if your best friend has started to expect more from your FWB arrangement, you need to talk to them about it.
FWB relationships can change in the blink of an eye. Be mindful of that and reevaluate your status intermittently.
This is still an important person in your life and you want to avoid hurting their feelings by not acknowledging them.
5. Are you going to tell your other friends?
Develop a strategy on how this is going to work.
If you’re in the same group of friends, your best bet is to discuss how you’re going to tell them about your FWB plan and if you’re telling them in the first place.
Figure out what you’re both comfortable with. There are no rules on whether or not you should share this with anyone.
It’s totally up to you.
If you want to keep it under wraps and enjoy your secret fling, by all means, do so!
But if you want to avoid your other friends finding out through different channels, share it firsthand.
Whatever works for both of you!
6. Discuss the ins and outs of your FWB system
Are you going to be sleeping over? Is it okay to grab breakfast together in the morning?
Does talking after sex until the wee hours of the morning count as being friends or are you still on the benefits part?
Discuss all of this and more, to avoid as many possible minor mishaps as you can.
Figuring it out ahead of time will save you a lot of awkward conversations later on.
7. Don’t cross the line
Sometimes, you need to remind yourself that this isn’t a romantic relationship.
You are friends with benefits, so laying all of your emotional load on your friend is off the table.
When you’re having sex, that’s all there is. But when you’re one-on-one as nothing but friends, you can discuss whatever comes to mind.
Just be sure not to cross a line during one of your hookups.
This is why rules are crucial. If you decide that there’s no pillow talk and no sharing of an emotional nature during your get-togethers, you ensure to avoid crossing a line and going into uncharted territory.
8. Know your limits
For your own well-being, know and respect your own limits. If you’re not okay with something, say it.
If it stops being comfortable, speak up.
If you want to go on a first date with someone new, tell them!
Being friends with benefits only works if you’re enjoying yourself.
The moment that stops, it’s time to have a talk.
If you’ve started seeking a committed relationship, that’s okay. If being FWB is no longer something you’re into, that’s also perfectly fine.
Don’t push yourself over the edge by being complacent.
Know your limits and don’t get too far away from your comfort zone. Do what feels right without feeling bad.
9. Always use protection
While NSA relationships are all kinds of amazing, there’s also a risk of STDs or STIs.
Depending on the nature of your arrangement, one of you may be seeing multiple partners (which is fantastic) and that carries a certain risk.
Talk about your birth control plan and always be certain to use protection, especially if this is a non-exclusive deal.
You may trust your partner but can you trust the other people they’re sleeping with?
You always want to be safe during sex, so never let your passion cloud your judgment.
Condoms first and then you’re free to do as you please!
10. Discuss how this could potentially end
As difficult as it is to envision the end of something that has merely begun, it’s vital to protect the friendship and not leave with a broken heart (and possibly the friendship as well).
What if one of you meets someone at some point whom they want to be exclusive with?
What happens when one of you starts developing feelings?
Are you just going to keep boning forever or is there a time limit you want to set?
Discuss all of the possible scenarios to maintain your friendship even after the FWB part is over.
It may not seem that way now but the sex part will eventually come to its end but your friendship is here to stay.
Do you care enough to keep it intact?
11. And lastly… just have fun!
The most important thing about being friends with benefits is to have FUN.
While it’s necessary to set some ground rules, it’s also vital to have your fun while it lasts!
Don’t forget why you’re doing this.
Clearly, you’re having amazing sex, so focus on that and keep in mind that the whole point of your system is to let loose and let off some steam.
Sex is fun, it alleviates stress, makes you forget about the real world and gives you one of the best feelings in the world.
Take full advantage of that!
And once it stops being fun, call it quits. That’s the whole beauty of being FWB!
The minute you’re no longer enjoying yourselves, end the sex part and focus on being the best friends you can be.
No hurt feelings, just two best friends who had the time of their lives.
Being friends with benefits is the right choice if you’re willing to put in the work.
Is your relationship with your best friend strong enough to survive this arrangement?
Is casual sex something you truly want right now?
If the answer is yes, then go and give this a shot. After all, you’ll never know until you try.
A committed relationship can be so much work and wanting to enjoy casual (and fantastic) sex with no strings attached is sometimes the way to go.
Before you do this, carefully read the rules. If you want to give this a real shot, you need to be mindful of your friend and their feelings as well.
Just because it’s of a casual nature, it doesn’t mean their feelings aren’t valid.
Discuss the ins and outs, have your fun and remain close friends no matter how this ends.
As important as sex is, your friendship is sacred as well. Find a common ground and be respectful of each other’s wishes.
Being FWB can be so much fun! Are you ready to take your friendship to the next level?