Being in a narcissistic relationship is an emotional roller coaster. One moment you’re the happiest person alive and the next you feel like a piece of shit.
Narcissists are brilliant in that way. They will turn your feelings around in a matter of seconds.
You may wonder how they get away with that.
They are experts in their field. They use manipulative behavior to control you. They use all kinds of tactics to mess with your mind, to do things their way.
Due to their experience, you are completely unaware that you are being manipulated—that and the fact you love that d-bag, so you make excuses for his behavior.
But don’t worry, he knows that you love him and he takes advantage of that. That’s why he has the power to control you the way he does.
It’s easier for you to keep your eyes shut than to admit the truth—he’s a f**king narcissist.
So, what happens when a narcissist leaves you? There are two possible outcomes to the scenario.
The first one is that he may just leave, completely ignoring you like you meant nothing to him because he probably has another victim to leech off, so he is not worried about his well-being.
But sometimes it may go in a completely different direction, one you never expected to happen.
He may want you back. Have you ever wondered how to make a narcissist want you back?
It’s easy—just leave him, and he will be all over you. Then again, who in their right mind would want to go through that hell once again?
But anyway, he’ll probably want you back. Why? That’s the thing about narcissistic people.
They need someone to feed off—their ‘victims’ are like drugs to them. You are their dose of ‘happiness’.
They can’t stand the idea of being alone. If they are alone, they have no one to vent to which makes them frustrated and nervous—just like craving a fix. In other words, they need a dose of you, they need to suck your energy dry to feed their own.
They need to destroy a part of you to build a part of themselves.
So, if they’ve been dumped and don’t have a backup plan, an attack plan where only the strongest will survive is on the horizon.
Just sit back and wait for it to happen because he will find you and try to manipulate you into coming back to him.
He will use his manipulative behavior to seduce you, sweet talk you. You may also hear phrases like: “I can’t live without you,” and he can’t—but not for the reason you might think.
Not because he loves you, but because he needs you, otherwise he will dry out. He needs your misery to provide him with happiness and satisfaction.
He will lure you into his trap and as soon as you are in it, he will change drastically. All that maltreatment, ignorance, and pain will come back, knocking on your door.
But you know what? You invited them in. You invited HIM. You’ve fallen for his sneaky trick because you didn’t know any better.
Maybe just for a second, you were intoxicated by his sudden change of heart. You really thought he had seen where he had gone wrong, and he looked like he was sincerely sorry.
All of that is just a mind game for him to get what he wants.
What happens when a narcissist leaves you and you meet someone who treats you the way you deserve?
Related: How Narcissists Treat Their Exes: 12 Shameless Ways
You will…
Feel like Alice in Wonderland. Every new (usually normal) feeling is strange. You feel like you don’t deserve this. After some time of maltreatment, you got used to it. You got used to feeling subordinate to your partner.
Now that your luck has changed, you don’t know how to deal with it. These new feelings you are experiencing are frightening you because they are not abuse, they are love and you don’t know love.
Doubt his behavior. Not a day passes by that you don’t suspect things are going to change—that all this nice behavior is just a facade.
The guy who made you doubt everyone and everything acted all nice and caring at the beginning. Then suddenly everything changed.
So it’s completely natural for you to think this one is going to do the same. You are just waiting for the storm that will bring dark clouds to your relationship to happen.
You don’t hope for the better because you never saw anything but misery. But this time it’s different. Just wait and see.
Feel confused because your voice is finally being heard. There is actually someone by your side who is interested in what you’ve got to say.
No one is ignoring you or shushing you. It’s not easy to switch yourself over to that mode.
After so much time being treated like shit, you will finally get all the love and respect you deserve. Your new guy will care for the things you have to say because he genuinely cares for you.
Not be blamed for all the bad stuff that happens in your relationship. You won’t be his punching bag every time he feels like crap. He won’t blame you just because he is unhappy with himself.
Before, everything negative that happened was somehow your fault and after some time, you started believing that.
You actually blamed yourself for his mistakes and his cruel behavior. Now, things are not like that.
Now, you’ve met someone who is responsible enough to admit when he is wrong.
He is man enough to own up to his mistakes, and that’s something you thought you were never going to see.
Be reintroduced to compromise. When a narcissist says something, it’s going to be that way and no other way. You didn’t have the right to propose anything.
If he was in the mood for doing something, it had to be done, and no one asked you anything.
After you’ve set yourself free from this suffocating and destructive relationship, a man who knows how to take your opinion into consideration comes along.
He will teach you what compromise is and what a healthy and happy relationship looks like because you never had a chance to learn that.
All you ever learned was how to ignore the insults and the pain he was causing you.
Get used to all the kindness. Selfishness was the only thing you knew and experienced in your previous relationship. It was always about him.
Now, you’ve been introduced to kindness and sharing—it should have been like that from the start.
It may be hard for you to get used to, but this is what love should look like. It should be a two-way street and not a dead end.
Not hear ‘I’ and ‘me’ all the time. Your new boyfriend is well aware of the things you’ve been through but he will never make everything just about him.
He will listen to what you’ve got to say because he genuinely cares about your opinion.
He loves you and he cares about what his better half has got to say, unlike in the past where it was all about one person—the sneaky narcissist.
Hear ‘I’m sorry’. Up to this point, the only one who apologized was you.
The narcissist made you think you were to blame for everything, so you apologized for everything, all the time—the things that you did and didn’t do because you were afraid of the confrontations and arguments.
By admitting you did something wrong, you hoped he would just let it go but he never did.
He dragged you in even deeper. Well, things are different now. You will be left in a state of shock when he apologizes the first time, but it’s true, it’s from the heart.
Real men own up to their mistakes; they don’t hide and blame others like those cowards do.
Not be manipulated. There is no more of that feeling of accidentally saying something wrong and then BOOM!—a fight breaks out all of a sudden. You can finally relax and trust your partner.
Maybe not at first, but as soon as you realize he’s not like that manipulative piece of s**t, you are going to look at things from a different perspective.
But if you want to do all these things, you have to get rid of the fear and let him find a way to your heart, you have to let him heal you and show you things you haven’t seen thus far.
He will finally teach you what real love is. Real love is about loving someone unconditionally.
It’s about loving someone with flaws and all. It’s about appreciating someone.
It’s about finding something in that other person that will make you never let go. That person
is the only one in the world who has that something and you want it.
It’s about picking each other up every time you fall down. It’s about supporting your loved one in everything they do.
It’s about respecting each other. It’s about having endless trust in each other.
It’s about compromising and taking each other into consideration.
You have all these things now and you had none of them then. You were unfortunate to stumble upon someone who only cared about himself.
The only thing the two of you had in common was loving the same person—HIM. All that is finally gone.
