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He Lies To Me, He Lies To Me Not

He Lies To Me, He Lies To Me Not

Have you ever thought someone you trusted was lying to you, and you deserve to know the truth no matter how much it may hurt? You just can’t put your finger on what it is that’s being concealed, but you know there is more than what meets the eye. What is it about this person that is untrustworthy, and how can you tell you’re being lied to? Why do things just feel off? Is it you? Are you just being paranoid?

Experts suggest even the most seasoned liars can be easily spotted and called out within seconds if you know just what to look for. There are certain signals that others give off without even knowing it. And, despite their best efforts, liars cannot run from the truth forever.

Eventually their stories catch up with them.

If you know what to ask someone you’re suspicious of and how to talk them into circles, you’ll soon get answers. Here are some methods for unmasking falsehoods. If you play your cards just right, you will be the one holding the winning deck as you call the culprit on his or her bluff.

When engaging in conversation, start by asking a few non-threatening questions such as, “Is work going well?” or “What are your plans for the summer?” Small, everyday questions you would ask just about anyone. These are considered baseline conversation starters, easy-to-answer probes that will help establish comfortability.

Getting another to be comfortable while talking will help you to better understand his or her natural mannerisms that are used when telling the truth or without feeling cornered. These can be later used to decipher when the person is being honest and when they’re not.

Next, up it a notch and begin to inquire about more personal subjects, such as, “What time did you get to so-and-so’s last night?” or “What time did you say you left the party?” Inquire about things that could cause the culprit to come clean, but probably won’t. More than likely, they’ll only serve to help you understand what mannerisms denote an anxious alibi.

This should only be done after you’ve determined how the recipient reacts during the initial phase, though. Because even when telling the truth or speaking about something relatively unsubstantial, people tend to use certain subconscious mannerisms. These are unique to the individual, and what could be considered suspicious for one person could be simply second nature to another. So, just because the potential perpetrator is nervous doesn’t mean they’re guilty. And, just because one person is clearly lying when they do ‘xyz’ doesn’t mean everyone is.

When masking the truth, many people will pull their torso inward as if to shrink from view. This makes the fabrication less of a big deal for them to rattle off since they believe they actually appear smaller. Shrugging shoulders and having suddenly fidgety or shaky palms or a limp is also common.

Take note of observable nervousness such as nostril flaring, blushing, redness around the ears, finger or foot tapping, or biting one’s lip. Other common reactions are removing oneself from the tale altogether, making a story mostly about someone else entirely, or using a different tone of voice that subconsciously helps the individual to mutate into a new persona.

Being lied to is never fun, particularly when the lie is physically, mentally or emotionally detrimental or changes the landscape of a relationship indefinitely. Once trust is broken, it is difficult, if not impossible, to repair. Depending on the magnitude of the lie, walking away may be the only way to ensure your safety.

However, ignorance is not bliss. Once an untruth slides by undetected, it becomes easier for an individual to continue repeating this devious behavior. There is a high likelihood, no matter how close you think you are to the person, it will continue to happen time and again. And, as the lies start to add up, they begin to cut a bit deeper. The longer you stay in a situation believing something exists when it doesn’t, the harder the truth will be to accept once the false facade is finally forgotten.

It’s always better to know the truth than to participate in a lie, and a seasoned manipulator needs to be outed to stop him or her from hurting others. There is no guarantee you can stop it altogether, but you can stop participating. Know when to say, ‘Enough is enough!’