“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself,
unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over,
you cannot move forward.” -Steve Maraboli
Moving forward after a breakup is a difficult process—no matter if you were the one broken up with or you did the breaking up. It still hurts. You just lost a person who had been a big part of your life. Sometimes the pain occurs right away. Sometimes it occurs months later.
Regardless of when it happens, it happens and it hurts from the inside out. It leaves you breathless. And it affects all aspects of your daily life.
You begin to wonder if the pain is worth it? Or if you made the right decision? Maybe, you begin to blame yourself? Or you think if you tried a little harder, or held on a little longer that things would have gotten better eventually…but let’s be real, they probably wouldn’t have.
I want you to know that whatever your case may be, do not beat yourself up over it. Do not allow the “could’ves and should’ves” to consume your mind. Those thoughts will eat you alive. They will make it 10 times more difficult to move forward with your life.
I want to share with you some pieces of advice and tips that helped me move forward after breaking out of a long-term relationship. These things can be done in any order or pace that you choose to do them in. You may also choose not to do any of these things and that is fine, too. I am just here to help others that are suffering from a broken heart in anyway I can.
Things to do to help you move forward after a breakup:
Give yourself some alone time: Turn off your phone. Stay away from social media. Talk to people who are there to support you. Take time to find yourself again.
Do things that make you happy: Paint, read, write, run, enjoy outside… Maybe pick back up that hobby you let go to the wayside while in your relationship. Whatever it is, if it makes you happy, do it.
Get rid of anything that reminds you of them: Put it in a box, throw it away, burn it. Just get it out of your sight.
Let Go: This one will take some time. It is an ongoing process. But please, let go. Let go of what was. Let go of the “what could have been”. Let go of the past. If you focus too much on the past, you will never be able to see what’s right in front of you.
Forgive: Forgive yourself for allowing you to stay in a bad situation for so long. Forgive the situation. Realize that you did all you could do to try to make things work, and that it just wasn’t meant to be. Forgive your ex. Whether that may be mentally forgiving them or actually informing them that you forgive them for what they put you through, do it. As crazy as it sounds, once you forgive the person that caused you all that heartache, you will be able to breathe a little more easily.
Rediscover your goals: Maybe you had planned out your entire life with this person. Maybe your goals and dreams revolved around them. This is the time to rediscover what you want to do with your life. Map out your own goals and dreams. Write them down and stick with them. Do what you want with your life and what makes you happy.
Put yourself back out there: There is no time limit on when to do this. All I am saying is don’t allow yourself to sulk for too long. Go out, meet new people, go on dates. Learn to enjoy life again on your own. You never know—you might meet the person you are meant to be with.
Move forward: Enjoy your new life. Your past has helped you grow into a stronger person. Embrace the changes. Be open to new experiences. Learn to trust again. “Let today be the start of something new.”
These are just words of advice from someone who has suffered heartbreak of her own. You don’t have to accomplish these in any specific order or on any time frame. I am just here to give you some advice that helped me to move forward in my life after a breakup. Enjoy.
by Julia Helen