I think all of you would agree that it’s definitely not easy to end a friendship. However no one does it without good reason, but it still doesn’t make it any easier.
Today, I’ll teach you how to tell someone you don’t want to be friends with them anymore or at all. To be honest, there is no painless way to do so because no matter how you do it, there might be some negative emotions and resentment from the other person.
Even though you can’t do it painlessly, you can, and you should do it in the politest way possible. Stay with me until the very end, and I’ll show you how.
How To Tell Someone You Don’t Want To Be Friends: 13 Ways
There is definitely no way to end a friendship with someone in a completely harmless way, but you can do it by trying to cause as little pain as possible. And here is how:
1. Don’t dwell on it
Dr. Miriam Kirmayer, a leading expert in counseling&psychology, says that ending a friendship can leave devastating consequences on a person’s mental health. However, she also agrees that sometimes it’s inevitable.
If you have legit reasons to not want to be friends with someone or don’t trust them enough to let them into your life, just do it. Make the decision for yourself and do it.
If you take too much time to think about it, the other person may already consider themselves your friend. And then, it’ll be even harder to tell them you don’t want to be friends with them.
2. Try to do it in person
Don’t be a coward. Don’t hide behind social media or phone calls. Buck up and tell that person you don’t want to be friends with them in person.
Explain your reasons to them and ask them to try to understand. Also, try to be empathetic because the other person may not take it well.
3. Pick the right time and place
Besides doing it face to face, you should also pay attention to the time and place you do it. These kinds of things may ease their pain when you decline to be friends with them.
Now, I’m sure you want to know when the right time and where the right place to end a friendship is. And I’m sorry to have to tell you the bad news, but that’s something no one can give you the right answer to.
4. Please, just don’t start ghosting them
Ghosting that person is the worst thing you can do to them. Declining or ending your friendship with them definitely won’t hurt them as much as your ghosting would.
The worst and most hurtful thing is when someone starts avoiding you for no reason. Truth be told, that is something only cowards do.
Talk to them. Tell them how you’re feeling. You don’t have to justify yourself or your actions and decisions, but the other person definitely deserves an explanation, the reason that made you end or decline your friendship with them.
5. Take care of the other person’s feelings
As I said, you need to be empathetic towards the other person’s feelings. Okay, you don’t like their vibe, or you simply don’t trust them, but that still doesn’t give you the right to hurt their feelings.
Be polite when choosing the words to tell them you don’t want to be their friend.
This could leave huge consequences on their self-esteem because that person may start thinking they aren’t good enough to be part of your life.
6. Be upfront and honest about the reasons
The other person needs to know about the causes and reasons that brought you to this decision. It’s their right, and if you want to be fair and be the bigger person, you’ll give it to them.
If you don’t have any legit reason but your gut feeling that you shouldn’t be friends with them, be upfront and tell them the truth. You have every right to choose who you want to be part of your life.
7. Forget about blaming and shaming them for their wrongdoings
Even if they did something really bad to you, you shouldn’t rub their nose in it or seek revenge. Just end your friendship, ask them to leave your life forever, and move on as if you never even met them.
Soon, they’ll become an ex-friend, and you won’t even remember them and their wrongdoings. Forgive them if you can, and do it for your own peace of mind. Seeking revenge or holding grudges will only stop you from moving on.
8. Don’t make excuses
Forget about making some lame excuse. You need to be brave and fair and speak to the other person honestly.
Making excuses will make you a liar and a coward. Also, if this is the first time you’re breaking up with someone, you should get used to it because there will be many breakups you’ll need to deal with in your life.
9. Don’t leave them with false hope
What does this mean? You make lame excuses, tell them how you are too busy right now and can’t build any new relationships, blah, blah, blah. That’s all nonsense, and it’s definitely not the right way to end a friendship.
Be upfront and tell them you don’t want to be friends with them – not now, not ever. Anything else you say may leave them with false hope that one day you may change your mind and welcome them into your life anyways.
10. Listen to what they have to say
When you’re finished with what you have to say, you should listen to what they have to say. They may not have anything to say at all because your decision may have been out of the blue for them.
If they start begging you to think about it or give them another chance to be part of your life, you shouldn’t fall for it. Stick by your decision no matter what.
11. Become unavailable to them
When you decline or end your friendship with them, you must become unavailable. Don’t answer their phone calls or text messages.
Once you leave things clear between you, then you’re allowed to ghost them. You need to show them that you’re really serious about not wanting them in your life as a friend.
It’ll be difficult if you have mutual friends, but you should still try to make it happen. If your group of friends invites both of you to their get-togethers, you should skip them and wait for one they’re not invited to.
12. End things forever
Ending a friendship is as hard as ending a romantic relationship. Even if they are different types of love, it’s still love, and you can love a friend as much, as deeply, and as strongly as you love a significant other.
However, when you decide to end something, your decision must be final. There is no point in going back on your word or to someone you know for sure doesn’t deserve to be part of your life.
Even if that person still tries to be part of your life, you need to try to block each and every single one of their attempts. Allowing them to come back whenever they want will hurt you both.
13. Move on & leave them in the past
Even if they were a good friend and you needed to end your friendship for some reason, you shouldn’t dwell on it for too long. God removed them from your life because they weren’t good for you.
Now, it’s time for you to move forward. Surround yourself with your best friends, or if you haven’t got any, go out and meet new people. You never know when you will run onto someone who’ll become a close friend one day.
If you’re an introvert, I’m sure you have at least one close friend with whom you enjoy spending time at home. Invite them over, and I’m sure they’ll help you forget about the friend you need to kick out of your life.
See also: Why Doesn’t My Ex Want To Be Friends? (Fully Explained)
How Do You Tell Someone You Don’t Want To Be Friends Through Text?
If you decide to do it over social media after all, or you simply don’t have any other option, you need to be careful about the words you choose to use. One simple word can hurt another person more than breaking up your friendship.
If you aren’t great with words, I’ve got a few examples I found online, and you can use them to break up or end a friendship in the most painless way possible.
1. “Hi. I really need some space from our friendship for a few weeks. I’m overwhelmed and can’t give you my full attention and support.”
2. “I appreciate the invite, but my interests have shifted in the past few years, and I just feel like we’ve drifted apart.”
3. “I am really hurt by how you behaved with me. I thought of you as my best friend. I have always valued you, but this did not matter to you. I am no longer friends with you.”
4. “Now that we’re each in different places in life and have different interests, I think it’s time we take some time apart to really explore our own individual paths.”
5. “It’s hard to say this, but I have to be honest and put myself first and not continue this friendship.”
6. “We did say to each other that we would be friends forever. But now we can’t be friends. I don’t want to be in touch with a dishonest friend. I had never expected this kind of attitude from you. Goodbye forever!”
7. “Lately, I’ve been feeling like we’re into different things. I’m really busy with my new job and want to move on from our friendship to focus on that and rediscover my own hobbies and passions.”
8. “Due to recent conflict, I’m choosing to end this friendship.”
9. “Our friendship is no longer what it used to be. You have made new friends, and you seem much happier with them. Let’s make the mutual decision to end our friendship as I don’t want to be in a namesake friendship.”
10. “I feel like we’ve grown apart recently. We don’t even like to do the same things anymore.”
11. “I want to be completely transparent. I’ve been angry since we saw each other. This tends to happen when we spend time together, so I can no longer be in this friendship.”
12. “I don’t want to be friends with you anymore. I trusted you so much, but you were not fair to me. It’s better to be alone than to be with a friend I don’t trust anymore.”
13. “I don’t want to be friends anymore. This isn’t healthy for either of us.”
14. “We’ve both grown so much, but not together.”
15. “Our friendship has changed a lot over the last few months, and we are no longer close. I hate you for what you did to me, and I don’t want to be friends with you anymore.”
16. “I wish you the absolute best, but I can’t support you as a friend anymore.”
17. “I need space from our friendship. Distance will help both of us understand who and what is important to us.”
18. “I don’t want to see you anymore. Please don’t try to contact me.”
19. “I hope you can understand that I can’t be in this friendship anymore.”
20. “I feel like this friendship isn’t healthy for me.”
21. “I don’t feel like our relationship is helping me. You matter to me, but it’s getting difficult for me to continue our friendship. I think the best would be to go our separate ways.”
22. I can’t be in this friendship anymore. I want friends who understand and support me where I’m at. I hope you find that, too.”
23. “Life has changed so much for me. I’ve done some self-reflection, and I think stepping back out into the world will look different for me.”
24. “This is how I feel. I don’t want to argue about this, and I don’t think we should be friends anymore.”
25. “I’ve tried to have this conversation in person many times. But it’s clear you aren’t hearing me. I don’t want to be friends anymore.”
How Do You Say You Don’t Want To Be Friends Anymore?
It’s way harder to end a friendship than to decline to be friends with someone. If you have already built that friendship bond, it’ll be harder to end it because one person will definitely end up hurt.
However, sometimes it’s just necessary and justified to end a friendship and kick that friend out of your life. Yet again, you should do it in a polite and gentle way so you don’t hurt the other person’s feelings.
Even if they did something bad, you should always try to be the bigger person. Don’t even think about getting revenge – just end the friendship for good.
Be honest with them and politely explain why you’re breaking up your friendship. They may or may not understand your reasons, but it’s their problem.
Closing Thoughts
If you don’t want to be friends with someone or you want to break up a friendship, you can’t just start ghosting that person. You’re an adult, and you should behave like one.
Now, you have learned how to tell someone you don’t want to be friends with them in a polite way, and you should use this knowledge.
Be upfront and do it face to face. If there is absolutely no chance of doing it in person, you’re allowed to do it over social media, but you need to be even more careful and gentle if you choose to do it online.
Declining or ending a friendship can hurt a person to the point their heart will be broken. So, please be gentle and try to do it as painlessly as possible.
