When did emotions become such a big no-no?
I am so freaking tired of apologizing for being myself. My emotional side is such a big part of me, why do I have to suppress it for men to like me?
Hiding my emotions, as something that might be an inconvenience for a person I am with, has become toxic for my soul.
I’m talking to you – the guy who constantly tells me to chill down and cool off, and asks me so many times why am I being such a girl about things.
I seemed to have accepted that men are not very big on showing emotions, and even when they think they are, it is so much less than what I actually need.
I want to share my sensitivity and my softness with you. I want to be able to admit that I care for you deeply, that I’m excited to have you in my life.
I want to tell you that I love you. I want to be kind to you and take care of you when you are tired or sick, and I want you to want to do the same for me.
I want to be able to unravel my messy thoughts on you when there’s disturbance in my life of any kind.
I want to share my anger, not chill out. I need you to be there for me, to talk to me, to understand me.
If you are the right person, you will be able to take it. You SHOULD be able to take each part of me – my love, my messiness, my anger.
It shouldn’t bother you that I sometimes cry watching my favorite movie.
I might be too sensitive sometimes, but that’s okay. I need it and you should accept it.
I feel things strongly and that’s what makes me appreciate everything you do for me.
I don’t want to hide the parts of me that I think you may not like and won’t be able to love.
I will no longer apologize for my emotions. I’m not sorry that I’m feeling scared or sad or in love.
I’m tired of feeling like I have to put up a wall of strength and coldness to be recognized as strong.
Putting on a brave face is something I’m very good at, but it’s simply not something I’m willing to do. I can’t take it anymore.
Yes, I take things personally. Yes, I might overreact sometimes. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Feeling things is what makes us alive. The deeper you feel something, the more alive you are.
No more ignoring my emotions to the point of numbness. No more hiding and forgetting who I am just so I can fit the role you imagine me in.
Faking my indifference towards things I deeply care for draws me to feeling indifferent towards you, too.
If my emotions make you uncomfortable, I’m sorry to say you have no place in my life whatsoever.
I’ve been to the point of existence where nothing made a difference for me. I had to do things as hardcore as possible in order to try and feel something.
I got free from that. I am not going back to that prison because me being emotional is a burden for you.
I have a big heart and I’m freaking tired of being afraid to let others see that. Every word, every action, and every ounce of energy goes straight to my soul.
Being aware of my emotions brings power to me and I’ll never let you take that from me. My value doesn’t decrease because you are unable to see my worth.
So don’t tell me not to cry. Don’t tell me to calm down. You wouldn’t tell the wind to keep calm or to the thunder to stay silent.
The forces within me are so much more powerful than you know.
Be a man and accept all the womanhood inside me. Don’t fight it. Don’t push it away.
I will feel you too, If you are ready to feel me.
I’m done apologizing. If there’s not enough strength, will, and love inside you to grasp the wholeness I’m giving, stay away.
Shallow, superficial relationships don’t interest me anymore.
I give my all and if you’re ready to give your all, I am so very willing to accept it.
If not, I can honestly tell you one thing:
Fuck the hell away from me and stop wasting my precious time!