7 fasi di guarigione dopo un abuso verbale tossico

Verbal abuse is the fastest way to diminish and finally destroy someone’s self-esteem. The mind games and the control consumes your life completely, and after some time, your life loses every inch of beauty it had.

Dopo essere stato emotivamente e abusato verbalmente, darkness descends over you. You begin to see abuse even though abuse is not present because it’s the kind of life you’ve gotten used to by now.

Le paure prendono il sopravvento e si entra in modalità di protezione, costruendo muri intorno a sé molto alti. Tutto questo a causa di una persona povera e insicura che doveva farvi sentire di merda per avere un senso di superiorità.

The truth is, in almost all cases of verbal and emotional abuse, the victim is so much better than the abuser in every sense possible. That’s the main reason why the victim is abused in the first place.

A verbal abuser is capable of making you feel like you’re losing your mind, and any sense of stability is gone.

Prima di entrare in modalità di guarigione, you have to admit to yourself that the person you’re living with or dating is an abuser.

Don’t be ashamed of that. Don’t blame yourself because there is nothing you could have done to prevent it, and there is no way you could have known he is that kind of a person.

You have to come to peace with the fact you’ve been abused. I know those issues and the trauma you’ve been through seems unbearable, but believe me, it’s not.

Now, you think you’re never going to recover. You think you’re going to stay damaged for the rest of your life. But, that is not true. That’s just the reflection of the state you’re currently in.

Ma credetemi, anche questo passerà.

Come guarire dopo aver subito abusi emotivi e verbali:

1. Don’t believe the lie

Whatever a toxic person tells you is a lie. Don’t believe those words because they are only said to hurt you. That is their primary goal – to make si sente inutile. Perché le persone senza autostima sono persone più facili da controllare.

Ma nessuno è fatto di pietra e anche le parole di un perfetto sconosciuto possono insinuarsi nel cuore e fingere di essere vere.

You have to fight against those lies, actively choosing which words you’ll take to your heart and which you’ll turn your back on.

2. Chiedere sostegno e amore

After you’ve been emotionally and verbally abused, you need huge amounts of love. You need someone to hold you or listen to you. You need reassurance – someone who will tell you everything will be alright.

If you don’t ask for it, no one will give you what you want. People can’t read minds, and sometimes when you’re hurt, others might not recognize it immediately.

Quindi, chiedete aiuto. Chiedete amore quando ne avete bisogno e la persona giusta riconoscerà il vostro grido di aiuto.

3. Start believing that you’re good enough

Fate tutto il necessario per dimenticare la relazione che avete avuto e lavorate per recuperare la vostra autostima. Rimanere soli. Piangete mille lacrime. Gridare, urlare o andare in mezzo alla gente e uscire. Fate quello che vi sembra giusto in quel momento.

We are all different from each other, and we don’t work in the same ways. Some of us need loneliness; some of us need company. Whatever you need, take it, and bring back your self-esteem because you’re good enough.

4. Prendetevi del tempo per perdonare voi stessi

Forgiveness is hard, and when you need to forgive yourself, it’s even harder. You have to come to terms with the fact that the person you trusted betrayed you and led you astray. It’s hard enough to imagine that happening to you, let alone accept it truly did.

The betrayed person becomes guarded and builds walls around, trying to shut down from emotions which make them vulnerable. Closing inside can only bring more damage. It’s much healthier to open up to pain and accept it. You’ll forgive yourself easier and move on.

5. Utilizzare la natura come strumento di guarigione

Fate una passeggiata. Respirate l'energia che la natura ha da offrirvi. Rilassate la mente e il corpo. Vivete quel momento e lasciate andare tutto ciò che vi passa per la testa.

Quando la negatività vi consuma, rivolgetevi agli alberi e all'aria fresca, perché la natura sarà sempre lì per rilassare la vostra mente e mostrarvi quanto può essere bello il mondo.

6. Perdonare chi ha abusato di voi

I know this is almost impossible for you to read and let alone do. But, abusers are people who need help. At first, you’re furious because of the things your abuser did to you, but what you need to realize is that evil plants its seed in the most suitable ground.

Those abusers are lost people who have gone astray and are unhappy with themselves. They seek approval and power by torturing others. And to them, that is the way to go. They don’t know any different. They need professional help.

Perdonateli. Liberatevi del seme cattivo che avete dentro e andate avanti con la vostra vita.

7. Concentrarsi su qualcos'altro e scegliere l'amore

Concentratevi sul miglioramento e dimenticate l'abuso che avete subito. Ogni volta che la vita vi scuote e cominciate a dubitare di voi stessi, ricordate che volete stare meglio, volete riportare in vita il vostro vecchio io.

And in the end, it’s up to you whether you’re going to heal or not. We are all faced with a choice. We can choose self-love or we can choose self-loathing.

So, what’s it gonna be?