Come iniziare ad amare se stessi in 10 modi rivoluzionari

L'amore è l'emozione più bella di tutte. Tuttavia, per quanto sia sorprendente essere aperti di cuore verso gli altri, la domanda più importante del mondo è: come iniziare ad amare se stessi?

When you have a hard time caring about yourself, nothing else in your life can go right. You have zero self-confidence, you feel no security and at the end of the day, you don’t live a happy life.

Tutti continuano a parlarne. Ovunque si guardi, si leggono e si sentono cose che ricordano l'importanza dell'amore per se stessi.

So, you’re perfectly aware that you have to start giving yourself more love. However, nobody actually tells you how to start loving yourself.

Beh, nessuno tranne noi.

Ecco una guida passo passo al vostro viaggio nell'amore per voi stessi e la risposta alla domanda come amare se stessi di più.

Dimenticatevi di essere perfezionisti

The number one reason why most people don’t love truly themselves is the fact that they’re perfectionists.

Don’t misunderstand me; trying to improve yourself and putting effort into your own personal development and personal growth is admirable.

Tuttavia, la verità è che non si può mai diventare perfetti, per quanto ci si sforzi, quindi, per favore, smettete di aspettarvi di essere i migliori in tutto ciò che fate.

In fact, there is no such thing as being perfect. You’re just a human being made of flesh and blood, just like any other person in this world.

Tutti noi abbiamo una serie di difetti e non ha senso stressarsi per ognuno di essi.

Dopo tutto, cosa significa essere perfetti? Voi o qualsiasi altra persona al mondo avete la stessa visione della perfezione? Scommetto di no.

The thing is that you have to stop wasting your precious energy on trying to achieve something that is unattainable. Go easy on yourself and don’t try going on a wild goose chase.

Instead of focusing on poor choices, concentrate on all the things you have done well. Stop looking for your own flaws and start observing yourself as someone worthy of everyone’s admiration.

Accettazione di sé

When you’re trying to figure out how to start loving yourself or how to love yourself more, firstly, you have to accept your true self. Before anything else, begin with knowing who you really are.

What are the parts of you that you truly consider to be yours? What are the traits others imposed on you but you’ve actually never accepted? Who are you and who do you want to be? How do you see yourself?

Siete la persona che avreste voluto diventare per tutta la vita? E soprattutto, che tipo di persona vorreste essere se tutto dipendesse da voi?

Well, guess, what? It all really does depend on you. In fact, you’re the only person who needs to accept all of your qualities and flaws.

To practice self-love is about self-acceptance. It’s not denying any parts of your personality.

You know how you don’t laugh as loud as you would just because your partner doesn’t like it? How you stopped wearing that colorful shirt just because your family thought it wasn’t appropriate?

It’s about time to stop pretending to be someone you’re not. Dig deep inside of you and ricordare la ragazza o il ragazzo che eri un tempo. Amate le vostre imperfezioni nello stesso modo in cui amate i vostri lati positivi. Sapete perché?

Because they all form one amazing person—YOU.

Remember: you’re one of a kind. In a million years, there won’t be someone the same as you so what’s there not to love about this uniqueness?

Forget about society’s validation

Now that you’ve done the hard part, it’s time to stop comparing yourself to others as well. Guess what? You’ll never please everyone around you so you might just as well stop trying. This is one of the best recipes for an vita più facile. 

If your parents don’t see you as good enough, they’ll never appreciate you or see your worth, regardless of how much effort you put into trying to change their opinion.

On the other hand, you might be the best possible person to them but maybe your partner has some expectations you can’t seem to fulfill.

Il punto è che, qualunque cosa facciate, ci sarà sempre qualcuno che vi dirà che dovreste fare le cose in modo diverso.

The truth is that you can spend your entire life worrying about other people’s opinions but even then, you won’t change them and you won’t succeed in making everyone love you.

The first thing you have to do if you plan on forgetting about unrealistic society’s expectations is to get rid of all of your social media accounts.

Se questo è impossibile, vi prego almeno di capire che quasi tutto ciò che si trova su Facebook e Instagram è falso.

Don’t worry, I know exactly how you feel. You go on your news feed and you automatically get the impression that all your friends are better in this game called life.

If you’re of a certain age, you’re expected to have it all figured out. It seems that everyone has graduated, started a family, has a happy love life and so on. Everyone except you.

Tutti viaggiano, vanno in palestra, perdono peso e vivono la loro vita migliore. Tutti tranne voi.

Naturalmente, quando ci si confronta con gli altri, ci si vede come il più grande fallimento in assoluto. Sapete perché è così?

Because you keep limiting yourself by what is expected of you. You don’t go after your desires; you’re trying to fulfill society’s standards.

Who told you that there is a certain age by which you have to have a steady job? Who says that you have to get married? That’s right, nobody. So please, forget about this nonsense and live your life the way you want.

Dopo tutto, l'obiettivo è rendere felice se stessi, non la società.

Abbracciare la gratitudine

Knowing this, you’re probably wondering what the key to happiness is. Well, nobody can give you a concrete answer to this question but I can guarantee that gratitude is one of the most important ways to get there.

A prima vista, si potrebbe pensare che le persone più felici abbiano tutto, ma posso dirvi che la verità è ben diversa. Al contrario, le persone più felici sono semplicemente grate per tutto ciò che hanno.

After all, nobody has it all, therefore what you should do is embrace gratitude. I promise you that once you do, you’ll grow to love your own life more and eventually, you’ll start this self-love journey.

Most of the time, you’re focused on the bad things around you. Well, for a change, try and look at things from a different perspective.

Maybe you can’t save enough money to decorate your house but hey, at least you have a home, don’t you? Maybe you are not happy with your current career choice but you do have a job, don’t you?

Don’t misunderstand me, this is not me advising you to remain stuck in your comfort zone for the rest of your life.

I’m not telling you to ditch personal development, not to follow your dreams or to stop aspiring for greater things.

Instead, I’m just begging you to stop paying so much attention to the things you want to change and instead, be thankful for all of your blessings.

Be grateful that you’re alive and be grateful if you’re healthy. You’re surrounded by those who care for you and no matter what happens, tomorrow is always a new day.

Credetemi, questo da solo è molto di più di quanto molte persone possano anche solo sognare di avere.

Cambiare la percezione di sé

Before getting the answers to your questions of how to start loving yourself and how to love yourself more, you have to get to the bottom of this question: Why don’t you love yourself in the first place? Lucky for you, I have the answer to this one too.

Vedete, il problema principale è che avete una scarsa considerazione di voi stessi. Forse vi rifiutate di ammetterlo, ma la verità è molto evidente.

Obviously, you consider yourself unlovable. You are convinced that you’re not worthy of anyone’s love. Your inner voice is telling you that you’re not attractive, smart, intelligent or interesting enough for anyone to love you.

Puoi negarlo quanto vuoi, ma sai che è così che ti senti con te stesso.

Per cambiare le emozioni negative è necessario cambiare la percezione di sé. Dovete rafforzare la vostra autostima e ricordare a voi stessi che siete davvero degni e preziosi.

Easier said than done, I know. Wouldn’t it be perfect if you could snap your fingers and start seeing yourself in a different light, just like that?

However, this change requires time. It requires you to get out of the box you’ve put yourself in and to eventually start seeing all of your qualities.

Per cominciare, iniziate un'abitudine straordinaria: il diario. Ogni sera, prima di andare a dormire, scrivete almeno cinque cose che vi hanno fatto sentire orgogliosi di voi stessi.

Write down five good things you’ve done that day or the right choices you’ve made. This doesn’t have to be anything spectacular, as any milestone will do the trick.

Ad esempio, si può registrare che ci si è alzati in tempo per andare al lavoro, senza dover affrettare la routine mattutina, o che, tanto per cambiare, si è pranzato in modo sano.

Inoltre, fatevi un paio di complimenti e scriveteli.

You can add some things such as the fact that you were calm enough not to respond to your co-worker’s nasty look, that you smelled great or that you were extra funny today.

The list is endless but I’m sure you know where I’m going with this.

At first, remembering five good things will be difficult. However, with time, you’ll even start to increase the number of compliments and the praise you give yourself.

Quindi, la prossima volta che sentite di amarvi meno di quanto dovreste, fate un po' di autocritica. Rileggete il vostro diario dell'amore per voi stessi, leggete tutte le cose belle che avete fatto in quei giorni e fatevi dei complimenti.

In questo modo, la vostra immagine di sé inizierà a cambiare, senza che ve ne accorgiate. La fiducia in se stessi salirà alle stelle e l'amore per se stessi arriverà.

Tagliate fuori le persone tossiche

Per ottenere una risposta alla domanda su come iniziare ad amare se stessi, è necessario trovarsi in un ambiente amorevole.

It’s impossible to care for yourself in a proper way if you’re surrounded by hatred, pessimism and negative thoughts and people.

Therefore, please cut off anyone who doesn’t mean you well.

Regardless of whether these toxic people are your family or friends you’ve known your whole life, if they don’t send you positivity, it’s time for them to go.

Basically, what I’m advising you is to get rid of everyone who doesn’t truly love you. You see, you’re going through a sensitive time right now. You’re easily subjected to other people’s opinions and impressions of you.

It’s actually pretty simple; if you surround yourself with people who think poorly of you, you’ll adopt their opinions.

If you surround yourself with those who keep you sending you the message that you’re not meant to be loved, you’ll start considering yourself not worthy of love.

On the other hand, if you’re constantly in the company of people who see all of your value, you’ll start believing it as well.

If you’re in the company of those who think highly of you, after a while, you’ll begin looking at yourself through their eyes as well.

Abbracciare la cura di sé

I’m sure you’re a great friend, co-worker or sibling and an even better son or daughter.

You’re always full of understanding about everything your loved ones do, you put a lot of effort into making them happier and you do everything in your power to help them out when they need it.

That’s an amazing trait, I won’t argue against that. However, having all of this in mind, I can’t help but wonder: What exactly is stopping you from treating yourself the same way?

Why do you engage in that much self-criticism, self-loathing and self-doubt but you’re not like that where everyone else is concerned?

If you’re being honest, you’ll admit that you treat everyone else around you better than you treat yourself. Why is that so? Does that mean that you love all of them more than you love yourself?

Why not engage in a little experiment. Try imagining that you’re your own best friend.

What would you tell that friend, if they came to you and told you that they don’t love themselves? What would you tell them if they made a mistake?

Li accusereste di essere un fallimento o dareste loro la rassicurazione di cui hanno disperatamente bisogno?
Cosa direbbe loro se fossero affrontare una rottura?

Would you rub salt into the wound by telling them that they’re good for nothing and that nobody else would ever love them?

Or would you tell them that they’re better off single and that they should be happy about getting rid of their toxic ex?

You don’t have to answer any of these questions because I already know which options you’d choose. So, why don’t you start telling yourself each one of these lines?

These double standards don’t end there. Let’s imagine that it’s your best friend’s birthday. I bet that you would do anything to get them the perfect gift.

Spendereste tutti i soldi e il tempo del mondo solo per vederli felici.

Tuttavia, non trattate mai voi stessi allo stesso modo. Raramente fate qualcosa per compiacere voi stessi.
Well, it’s about time to change that. I’m begging you, start pampering yourself, the way you pamper others.

Amare il proprio corpo

Let’s be real here; you can’t love your mind and emotions unless you love the physical part of yourself as well. Regardless of how you feel about it, your body is a part of you.

No, I’m not here to tell you to lose weight and to become a supermodel because that’s not a path to self-love. The truth is that you should try to get in shape but your health should be the number one reason to do so.

Instead, I’m here to beg you to start loving your body, to ask you to embrace all of your physical imperfections, the same way you should do with all the personality traits you don’t like.

You can undergo all the plastic surgery and aesthetic treatments in the world but if you don’t teach yourself to be happy in your own skin, you’ll keep finding new flaws nobody else even notices.

Your nose will always be too big, your mouth too small and your teeth never white enough. What I’m trying to say is that loving your body means accepting it instead of changing it.

Of course, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t do anything about the things that can easily be changed and that you don’t like about yourself.

For example, if you are really bothered about that extra fat you’ve got on your stomach, start exercising.

Nevertheless, before you do it, ask yourself: Am I the one who can’t stand seeing those extra pounds on me or do I want to get rid of them to be more likable to others?

Essere egoisti

Being egocentric is a negative trait. Everyone applauds those who are kind and emphatic. However, there is a thin line between being nice and being a fool and you’re on the verge of crossing it.

Don’t misunderstand me, I know that your loved ones are significant to you. Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean that you should allow them to use you whenever or however they like.

Inoltre, i loro bisogni e desideri non possono mai essere più importanti dei vostri.

THEY can’t be more important than you to you. Instead, you have to ask how to love yourself first. No, this is not a toxic trait, it’s the way in which we should all behave.

You’re your own number one priority and everyone else comes second. Your mental health, energy and emotions are the things that have to concern you the most.

Please, stop feeling guilty for not being at everyone’s disposal 24/7. Don’t beat yourself up just because you don’t feel like going out with your BFF tonight or for choosing yourself over your siblings.

Remember this: All the relationships in your life can come and go. The heck with it, it’s even possible to break ties with your closest family members.

Tuttavia, l'unica relazione da cui non si può sfuggire è quella con se stessi.

Tenere a cuore quel rapporto non è affatto egoistico. Prendersi cura di sé non è egoistico. Soprattutto, amare se stessi più di chiunque altro non è certo da egoisti.

Lasciare andare il controllo

When you’re trying to figure out how to start loving yourself, one of the things you simply must do is stop being a control freak. As much as you try, you simply can’t be in charge of everything.

Che vi piaccia o no, la verità è che non tutto può essere nelle vostre mani. Non avete il controllo su come si comportano gli altri.

In realtà, nella maggior parte dei casi, non avete nemmeno il controllo sulle cose che vi accadono e non avete il controllo della vostra vita.

Tuttavia, è evidente che lei ha difficoltà a rendersene conto. Il più delle volte si finisce per odiare se stessi per il modo in cui gli altri ci trattano e per le cose che sono fuori dal nostro controllo fin dal primo giorno.

When your boyfriend or girlfriend dumps you, you love yourself less because you think that you weren’t enough for them. When you get fired, you love yourself less because you think it was all your fault.

Well, the only thing you can control is your reactions to other people and events. You can’t choose whether you’ll get betrayed or left behind. Nevertheless, you can choose the way you observe that situation.

Will you put the blame on yourself and hate yourself for all that has happened? Or will you accept the situation the way it is and invest energy into healing yourself? It’s all up to you!

Per concludere:

Maybe the most significant step in this process is to take things slowly. You’ve figured out how to start loving yourself but that doesn’t mean that you should rush yourself into it.

Let’s be honest; how many years have you spent hating yourself? How much time has passed since you paid yourself a compliment?

Quanti anni avete passato a sminuire la vostra autostima e a vedervi meno validi di quanto siete in realtà?

I bet even you don’t know the number so do you really think it’s possible to annul this entire effect overnight?

I won’t lie to you, making a difference to your feelings is not a piece of cake. Therefore, don’t expect magical changes with the snap of a finger.

In effetti, la cosa peggiore che si possa fare è spingere troppo su se stessi e aspettarsi subito una trasformazione completa. Invece di cercare di fare enormi differenze, fate piccoli passi.

One change at a time is the way to go! Before you know it, you’ll be proud of yourself and of everything you achieved.

Tuttavia, la domanda è: siete veramente consapevoli di quanto sia fondamentale amare voi stessi?