Perché il mio ex mi odia quando mi ha scaricato? 13 ragioni segrete

È stato il suo ex a porre fine alla relazione. Vi ha lasciati e ha deciso che era arrivato il momento di separare le vostre strade.

Ma ora, all'improvviso, si comporta come se fosse il contrario. Parla male di lei, la insulta ogni volta che ne ha l'occasione e sabota la sua nuova vita.

It’s more than obvious that this man can’t stand your guts. Naturally, you can’t help but wonder: “Perché il mio ex mi odia when he dumped me?” I mean, his behavior makes no sense whatsoever!

Well, if you dig a little deeper under the surface, you’ll find out why he feels this way.

Perché il mio ex mi odia quando mi ha scaricato?

Here are the possible reasons hidden behind your ex partner’s hatred:

1. È geloso della vostra nuova relazione

One of the first reasons why your ex-partner can’t stand your guts is the fact that you’ve è andato avanti troppo in fretta. Well, at least, that’s what he thinks. You two might not be together for months but for one reason or another, he thinks that it’s too soon for you to iniziare una nuova relazione.

Maybe he hasn’t been thinking about you so much since you two broke up. Tuttavia, nel momento in cui ha saputo che uscivate con un'altra persona, ha iniziato a odiarvi.

This man is clearly angry because you moved on and he hasn’t managed to find a healthy relationship since he left you. Nevertheless, he had a hard time processing his anger and turned it into hatred.

One thing is for sure: if your ex-boyfriend hates you, he is jealous of your new relationship. Your ex feels that this new guy in your life is making you happy and he’d die to be in his place.

2. Si pente della sua decisione

Quando vi chiedete perché il mio ex mi odia quando mi ha scaricato, dovete scavare più a fondo per ottenere una vera risposta. Fidatevi di me quando vi dico che c'è qualcosa di nascosto dietro il suo odio.

Nel vostro caso, molto probabilmente si pente della sua decisione. After all this time, your ex realized he’s ha commesso l'errore della sua vita quando ha rotto con te.

But of course, he wouldn’t admit this, even if his life depended on it. He is probably too proud to face this fact by himself, let alone to admit it to you.

Alla fine dei conti, il suo odio non ha nulla a fare con voi. He doesn’t hate you— he hates himself and all the wrong choices he’s made.

But he knows he can’t change the past: what’s done is done. So, instead of blaming himself for this whole mess, it’s easier for him to redirect this hatred towards you.

3. I vostri amici comuni hanno scelto la vostra parte

Just because your romance didn’t work out, it doesn’t mean that you’re not allowed to hang out with your amici comuni. However, your ex-husband or boyfriend doesn’t feel that way.

Whenever he finds out that they’ve been spending time with you, his friends get an endless rant. He accuses them of picking your side and stabbing him in the back.

Ancora una volta, i suoi sentimenti non hanno nulla a che fare con voi. Il tuo ex ovviamente si aspettava che tutti prendessero le sue difese e ti abbandonassero come ha fatto lui.

Maybe these people didn’t even choose sides. They just hoped to remain friends with both of you but he didn’t allow it. This is especially true if these are the people he introduced you to.

Or they realized what he did to you and don’t want to be friends with a man like that. Either way, it‘s clear that your ex wants you to be all alone, now that you’ve lost him.

4. La rottura è colpa vostra

When there is a break-up, we all like to see ourselves as the good guys of the story— especially if we’re the ones being dumped. However, the truth is frequently different. Guess what: just because your ex was the one to walk away, it doesn’t mean that he is guilty for ending your relationship.

So che è una pillola difficile da mandare giù, ma è molto probabile che siano state le vostre azioni a causare la rottura; è stato solo lui a porre fine alla vostra storia d'amore.

Basically, your ex hates you because you broke his heart. He can’t seem to forget all the bad things you did to him and he finds you responsible for the end of your relationship.

Of course, this doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s right. This might just be his perception of things and his version of reality.

But at the end of the day, you shouldn’t rack your brain about this. He decided that you’re the evil ex-girlfriend and things will stay that way, no matter what you do.

5. He can’t forgive you

Whether you like to admit it or not, you’re the one who made your ex hate you. It only appears that he lets go of your relationship but the truth is that he is still bothered by everything that went on between you two.

Even though he left you, he is still holding grudges over the things you did to him. There is obviously something he can’t forgive you for.

È l'orribile crepacuore you’ve put him through? (Yes, dumpers get their hearts broken as well.) Is it the fact that you failed to give him the primo posto nella tua vita?

Lo ha tradito mentre stavate insieme? Forse siete stati scoperti, ma lui ha deliberatamente scelto di non dirvi nulla.

It can be something that happened last week or last year. It can be something you find completely irrelevant to your relationship but it obviously hurt him and he can’t forget it.

6. Avete tradito la sua fiducia

Here’s one thing you must know about post-breakup behavior: just because you’re no longer in a romantic relationship with someone, it doesn’t mean that it’s okay for you to betray their trust.

You can’t go around telling your boyfriend’s secrets and if you do, that makes you a bad person.

However, that’s exactly what you did. You were probably angry about the way he left you and you shared everything you know about him with the world.

It doesn’t matter if you’ve only confined to your best friend— somehow, your words got to him.

Or you suddenly became friends with his arch enemies. Maybe you started hanging out with some guys you both “hated” while you were together or even worse, you started dating someone who is off-limits, such as his BFF.

Technically, you didn’t do anything wrong— you didn’t cheat on him. But deep down, you know you’ve violated the post-rottura moral code and that’s why he can’t stand you!

7. You’re badmouthing him

Perché il mio ex mi odia quando mi ha scaricato? Prima di rispondere a questa domanda, lasci che le chieda questo: Hai parlato male di lui da quando vi siete lasciati?

I know you’re going through a tough heartbreak. You probably hate him as well for the way he walked away from you.

Please don’t go around telling people: “Il mio ex ragazzo is a piece of trash,” and stuff like that! It’s one thing if your migliore amico è l'unico a sentire queste sproloqui.

However, if you’re talking cose brutte su di lui al vostro amici comuni, lo scoprirà!

Besides, you’re not talking trash about him only— you’re embarrassing yourself as well. Don’t forget that this man was your choice— it’s not like somebody forced you to be with him.

No matter what he did to you, always do your best to keep your dignity. This way, it only looks like you’re more focused on him than on your own life and that equals desperation.

8. Si è reso conto di ciò che ha perso

Molti uomini devono sentire la vostra assenza per imparare ad apprezzare la vostra presenza. It’s like they’re doomed or something, haha.

I mean, we’re talking about a man who never appreciated you while he had you around. Instead of treating you the way you deserved, he acted as if you were replaceable.

But now, when he realized that you’re one of a kind, everything changed.

I know what you must think— you’d expect him to beg for you to come back. Instead, he acts as if he hates you.

Dov'è la logica? Beh, lasciate che vi spieghi come funzionano le cose qui.

Quest'uomo odia il fatto che si è reso conto di ciò che ha perso. Continua a cercando te in altre donne but he finally realized that you’re nowhere to be found.

At the end of the day, he knows that he can’t have you back. His pride doesn’t let him beg you for forgiveness so he chooses to hate you instead!

9. Hai smesso di amarlo

There is one thing your ex-partner will never forgive you for: the fact that you stopped loving him. It doesn’t matter if he still has feelings for you or not— deep down, this man expects you to spend the rest of your life grieving the end of your relationship.

Anche se si entra in un nuova relazione, he expects to remain in your heart forever. He hopes that you’ll remember him when you’re old and wrinkled and always think of him as the love of your life.

What happens when his dreams burst like a bubble? What happens when he understands that this scenario is unlikely to happen and that you’ve already stopped loving him?

Ebbene, questa consapevolezza distrugge il suo fragile ego. Invece di essere felice che abbiate rotto come due adulti, sceglie di odiarvi.

Voglio dire, come hai avuto la decenza di cancellarlo dal tuo cuore? Naturalmente, in qualche modo non tiene conto del fatto che è stato lui a scaricarti!

On the other hand, if you spent all of this time trying to get your ex back, that would probably satisfy his ego. Luckily for you, that didn’t happen!

10. È geloso di voi

Ricordi che ti ho detto che il tuo L'ex è geloso of your new relationship, when you asked me: “Why did my ex hate me when he dumped me?” the first time? Well, there is more than one way for this man to be jealous.

A volte il vostro ex sarà geloso di tutto ciò che avete realizzato da quando vi ha lasciato. O dovrei dire invidioso?

In ogni caso, this guy clearly expected for your life to be over the moment he walked away from you. He didn’t expect for you to tornare indietro di seguire una traccia così presto dopo la rottura.

However, that’s exactly what you did. You didn’t lament over your sad destiny and you didn’t beg him to take you back.

Hai ripreso in mano la tua vita e hai iniziato a lavorare su te stesso.

You look better than ever. You got a new, better job, you’ve hit the gym, you’re traveling and you’ve finally started enjoying life.

What about him? Well, he’s still a sorry piece of garbage he’s always been.

You’re clearly more successful than him and he hates you because of it.

11. Il vostro comportamento sui social media

Are you still friends with your ex on social media? If not, check whether he’s following you from a Finsta or another fake account.

Se questo ragazzo ti vede divertirti come un matto con il tuo social mediaQuesto potrebbe essere il motivo del suo odio. Voglio dire, lui ha rotto con te e tu hai postato una selfie sexy the very next day. Or even worse, you’re posting new men all the time.

But what did he expect? I suppose he hoped that you’ll be posting sad songs and nostalgic quotes so all of your subscribers and followers know that you’re heartbroken.

Another thing that might bother him are your status updates in which you talk trash about him. You’re probably not tagging him or even naming him but you keep on posting quotes about a shitty ex.

Or he just hates you because you blocked him and he can’t see your posts anymore.

12. Non avete avuto contatti

Perché il mio ex mi odia quando mi ha scaricato? Beh, se siete andati nessun contatto subito dopo la rottura, ecco la risposta.

You’re not replying to his phone calls and text messages. You’ve stopped showing up at places where you could run into him.

Gli si augurava buona fortuna nella vita e basta. He knows nothing about you and it looks like you’ve really put a stop to this relationship.

Ma la parte migliore è che non si tratta di una sorta di gioco mentale che si cerca di fare per Riconquista il tuo ex. You really want to leave him in the past, where he belongs— that’s why you cut all ties.

It looks like you did exactly what he wanted you to do— you left him alone and you disappeared from his life. So, what is he upset about now?

13. Ti ama ancora

Bisogna essere consapevoli di una cosa: hatred and love are actually quite similar. To be exact, they’re two sides of the same coin.

Basically, what I’m trying to tell you is that, if your ex hates you, it means that in some twisted way, ti ama ancora. Hate is not the opposite of love – indifference is.

Quest'uomo è sopraffatto dalla mascolinità tossica e ha difficoltà ad ammettere di provare ancora qualcosa per lei, soprattutto perché è stato lui a rompere.

So, it’s easier for him to transform all of his love (especially if he knows it has become one-sided) into anger and hatred.

Se si spera di ottenere il tuo ex indietro, trust me you still have a chance. On the other hand, if he is indifferent, it means that he’s really over you.

As long as he hates you, it means you’re present in his heart. It means he is still thinking of you and wasting energy on you.

Come capire se il vostro ex vi odia?

Se il vostro ex marito or ex-boyfriend talks trash about you, tries to “steal” your migliori amici e li mette contro di voi, e sfrutta ogni occasione per insultarvi, una cosa è certa: vi odia a morte. But sadly, things don’t end here.

Ogni volta che vi incontrate per caso, lui vi lancia occhiatacce. Cerca in tutti i modi di umiliarvi e mettervi in imbarazzo e dice persino alla gente che vi odia.

Anche se avete interrotto i contatti, lui continua a mandarvi messaggi di testo insulsi. Anche quando gli chiedete qualcosa (ad esempio, se volete riprendervi le vostre cose), è sempre scortese.

Quest'uomo ha rivelato al mondo intero i vostri segreti più oscuri. Discute con i vostri amici comuni ogni volta che escono con te e lui pubblica aggiornamenti di stato arrabbiati su tutta la sua social media conti.

Se riuscite a collegare il vostro ex partner alla maggior parte di queste cose, non c'è spazio per i dubbi: è il vostro odiatore numero uno!

Cosa significa odiare il proprio ex?

Odiare il proprio ex è un chiaro segno che provi ancora qualcosa per lui. Mi dispiace interrompervi, ma questo significa che you haven’t moved on.

Insomma, è ancora presente nei vostri pensieri. Così come il tuo amore per lui ti ha consumato, questo odio travolgente ora fa lo stesso.

Continui a pensare a tutti i modi in cui ti ha spezzato il cuore. Pensieri di vendetta ti tiene sveglio la notte e tutto quello che vuoi è farlo soffrire.

Look, I’m not here to judge you. You have your reasons to feel this way and I bet this man deserves you to hate him.

However, trust me when I tell you that hatred won’t bring you anything good. Besides, it’s a negative emotion that doesn’t affect him in any way possible.

D'altra parte, però, vi infetta. It’s a poison that makes you a bad, toxic person. A poison that doesn‘t let you move on with your life the way you should.

That’s why it’s crucial for you to do your best to get rid of this horrible feeling of hatred. I know that this is easier said than done but please, find the strength in your heart to stop hating him!

Per concludere:

The next time you ask yourself why does my ex hate me when he dumped me, remember that hatred is a sign of failure. You must wonder: “Why is my ex angry at me if I didn’t do anything to hurt him?”

First of all, keep in mind that it is a sign of weakness. He clearly doesn’t have the courage to face his true emotions and to accept that he’s made a mistake by leaving you.

Also, if he really moved on and if he is happy, he wouldn’t have had the time or the energy to think about you, let alone to waste so much energy on hating you.

Basically, what I’m trying to tell you is to prendere il suo odio come un complimento. It is a clear sign that you’re still extremely important to this man!