Sono stanco di essere sempre la vostra ultima scelta

Sono stanca di essere sempre forte e di fingere di avere tutto. Non ho mai voluto essere una donna così.

Non ho mai pensato di essere someone’s maybe, someone’s last option. But in the blink of an eye, I found myself here, crawling in front of you and begging for some love. I was wondering why you couldn’t love me the way I loved you.

I was so easy to love but you refused to see that. You always treated me like someone who will be there for you no matter what you do. You liked the feeling that there is someone who loves you even if you don’t love them.

Your ego was boosted every time I would call you late at night in my moments of insanity, asking you why you don’t want to love me back and why you are pushing me away.

Poi, quando mi sorridevi e mi dicevi che dovevo andare a letto, mi rendevo conto di quanto poco significassi per te. E tu significavi tutto il mondo per me.

Ogni volta che mi trascuravi, morivo dentro. Ogni volta che guardavi un'altra ragazza, il mio mondo andava in pezzi.

Ogni volta che mi dicevi che eri felice con una nuova persona nella tua vita, perdevo la speranza di poter stare con te.

I desperately wanted to hear that you love me just like I loved you. But I never heard those words coming out of your mouth. And when I asked you if we can be more than friends, you just said ‘maybe’.

For you, once more I was the last option—your last choice who would be there when all of your so-called friends left you.

Avrei dovuto essere quella che ti consolerà nei momenti di dolore, ma che non sarà mai in grado di asciugare le lacrime dalle tue guance. Avrei dovuto essere quella che ti dirà che tutto andrà bene, ma che non sarà mai in grado di abbracciarti.

Ero solo una donna da cui venivi ogni volta quando ti faceva comodo. E ogni volta che mi chiamavi, venivo senza pensare al mio orgoglio.

A causa tua, ho dimenticato di avere a cuore me stessa. Ti ho sempre messo al primo posto, ma era il mio più grande errore.

I don’t know why I settled for someone who never knew my true value. I don’t understand why I accepted to be your last choice in the first place.

Maybe I was so much in love that I didn’t pay attention to that. And no matter how much I think about that, I can’t find reasons good enough to explain why it took me so much to get rid of putting you first.

But I somehow managed to do that, even if that meant letting you go out of my life. I knew that I had been holding onto something that didn’t exist anymore. And it was enough!

Quindi, mi sono arreso!
And I didn’t do that because I failed but because I learned.

Ho imparato che era ora di smettere di mettere gli altri al primo posto perché Io sono l'unica priorità della mia vita. I learned that others will never respect me if I don’t respect myself enough.

Ho capito che, a prescindere da quello che dicevi, ero più che sufficiente. Ero degna del tuo amore, ma tu non hai mai voluto ammetterlo.

From now on, I have a totally different outlook on life. I don’t look at myself in the mirror and think that I am the unlovable one.

Now, I think that I deserve all the love and affection of this world. I am no longer interested in being someone’s ‘maybe’, someone’s last choice like I was to you.

I am not interested in being part of a one-sided love anymore—the love where I was the one who was always giving and never receiving.

I am done being in love with the man who couldn’t even give me a chance to show him my love.

I don’t want to waste my time on someone who will never accept me the way I am.

If I already was your second choice, then you definitely don’t deserve to be my first. Never again!