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Should You Worry If He Can Go A Day Without Talking To You?

Should You Worry If He Can Go A Day Without Talking To You?

Please promise me something: while you’re reading this article, you’ll forget about your notifications. After you’re done with it, you might not want to check them either.

If the guy you’re dating hasn’t texted you all day, don’t lose sleep over it. I know what you’re fearing: he’s losing interest.

I’m here to tell you why it’s unlikely and why it’s a good thing if he can go a day without talking to you.

What Does It Mean If He Can Go A Day Without Talking To You?

Before you start worrying that there are problems in your relationship, you should know that no contact for a couple of days isn’t a big deal.

Unless you’re in a long-distance relationship, and your communication is rarely in person, it’s perfectly fine if you don’t talk every day (and even then, it doesn’t mean you’re not keeping in touch if you’re not constantly texting).

There are many possible reasons why he’s not texting or calling on a daily basis, and very few of them are troubling (and they are easily recognizable).

1. He’s busy

thoughtful man looking through the window

This is the number one, most likely answer to your fear. If he can go a day without talking to you, there’s a great chance that he’s simply busy.

Before you start thinking that he’s pulling away, consider that it could be that he’s been busy. Maybe it’s been hectic at work, or he’s dealing with family issues. Maybe he had a hit of inspiration and is simply hard at work.

At the end of the day, wouldn’t you rather be with someone who has a job, interests, and hobbies of their own than someone who’s clingy and whose life revolves around you?

Something like that may be flattering at first, but there’s no happiness and future in such a relationship.

2. He’s working on himself

man lifting weights

If he has a lot of things going on in his life, he’s constantly growing and improving himself.

A man like that is able to be a whole, mature person who can cherish his partner without projecting his own shortcomings on them. He’s emotionally capable of developing a healthy relationship with his significant other.

Someone whose life is unfulfilled might be looking for a solution in another person. A lack of things going on in their life could lead them to want to anchor themselves to someone else.

At first, the idea of being someone’s whole world could sound romantic, but in time, it becomes suffocating and toxic. It’s better left to (old-school) romance movies.

So go on and live your own life, and rejoice in the fact that every time you see your partner, you’re both more accomplished people than the last time you were together.

3. He’s an introvert

woman sitting in train looking at her phone

The man you’re dating might simply be an introvert. In fact, if he can go a day without talking to you, there’s a strong possibility of that.

Contrary to what some people may think, introverts aren’t necessarily shy or quiet. Being introverted means that even though he likes socializing, it takes a lot of energy.

Even though they like company, introverts need alone time to recharge. Talking to someone every single day can be a struggle, no matter what the other person means to him.

This extends to communication. If you text an introvert, and he doesn’t text back quickly (or at all), he’s not ghosting you, I promise. It’s just that sometimes he simply can’t.

If you’re an extrovert dating an introvert, have some patience and trust that he’s going to contact you as soon as he recharges.

4. He doesn’t like using his phone

man standing in kitchen and sending good morning text

While some people dread that “ting!” of incoming text messages, others thrive on constant interaction. If two people who have different styles of connecting like this are in a relationship, it’s helpful to establish a routine.

Tell each other what’s too infrequent, what’s enough, and what’s too much. If you’re someone who likes a “good morning” text, let him know! If he feels stressed having to always keep his phone in his hand so he doesn’t miss a phone call, he should let you know.

This way, you can find a compromise and both be happy with the level of contact. It’s good to remember that the solution to all relationship confusion and doubt is communication.

5. He prefers face to face communication

couple sitting in cafe

We all have our preferred way of keeping in contact with others. Your significant other maybe isn’t always available and perhaps only replies to your texts the next day, but that doesn’t have to mean that you don’t have a good relationship.

Before you start worrying, “why doesn’t he text me every day?” consider that your boyfriend might simply rather talk to you in person.

It’s important that you establish good communication when you meet face to face. Phone calls and texts can cause problems anyway. Without seeing (or even hearing) the other person, many communication cues are missing, and misunderstandings are easy.

6. It’s still early in the relationship

woman lying looking at her phone

Maybe you just started dating, and if he’s showing you that he can go a day without talking to you, maybe he’s just trying not to seem desperate.

New relationships are fragile. You’re still feeling each other out, trying to find your legs and figure out how things are going to work. You like each other, but you still don’t know how (and how much) to show it.

Maybe you’re checking each other’s social media but not liking every pic. You both might feel like talking the whole day, but your partner isn’t sure how it would come across.

If you want to talk to him, be a little fearless. Saying “I love you” early in a relationship might be too much, but if you want to contact him, go ahead and send that text!

7. He’s holding back

woman sitting by window drinking tea

Even if you’ve been dating for a long time, he can still be holding back. Sometimes, as we feel a relationship is about to get serious or move to the next level, we might feel a need to step back a bit so that we’re able to examine our feelings and plan our next move.

This might be his first time in a situation where he’s considering taking a relationship to the next level, and he’s being careful. This is a good thing. It shows that it’s important to him and that he isn’t careless with his feelings.

It’s not just you wondering and having doubts. We all have insecurities, and as we get closer to people, it’s easier to open up and share them. A good idea would be to talk to him (face to face) but give him time if he needs it.

+1 bonus reason

Maybe he lost his cell phone! Or dropped it screen down.

I’ve added this point just to sneak this in one more time: there’s nothing to worry about if he can go a day without talking to you! If you’ve read the article so far, I hope I managed to lessen your worries a little bit.

Especially because of what we’ll be talking about next.

Is It Normal For A Couple To Go A Day Without Talking? (The Other Perspective)

man working in office

Now that we’ve gone through the most likely reasons he can go a day without talking to you, let’s quickly examine some less comforting points.

I assume that the reason you Googled this is because you’re wondering, “If he’s not texting me, is he losing interest? Is there something wrong? Is there someone else?”

There’s a much bigger chance that the answer to the lack of contact is in one of the items above.

Even so, let’s step out of our comfort zone, rip off the band-aid, and try to see what else could be going on (but I’ll make sure to offer ideas on how to deal with it every step of the way).

• Distance?

If you disregard calls and texts, is he feeling otherwise distant? I’m sure this is something that’s easy to figure out. If he’s being purposefully distant, this may be a sign that he’s losing interest.

If he is losing interest, sadly, there isn’t anything you can do. We can’t make anyone like us, and, even though it may be painful, I think it’s better to know as soon as possible.

The less you’re involved, the less you get hurt, and in this case, my advice is to let it go. Wait to be sure that he’s pulling away and that it’s not something else, and go about your business. Directing your energy elsewhere will make things a little easier.

On the other hand, if the way the both of you are in your relationship is otherwise consistent, it’s probably nothing. Are you still going on dates and feel included in each other’s lives? If this is just a case of everything is normal, just no texts, you can relax.

• Problems?

mad couple sitting on sofa

There are two possibilities here: there’s an issue with your relationship, and he either doesn’t want to deal with it or doesn’t know how to handle it.

If he isn’t interested in solving problems that might have popped up, the relationship may not be as important to him as you might hope, or he doesn’t know what the best course of action to take is.

The key here is motivation. All human beings are flawed, and lots of us are clueless when it comes to other people.

In this case, think about your experience with him so far. Does he seem like a person who doesn’t care about your relationship, or is he just ill-equipped to handle it?

Maybe it’s something he’s not sure about, or he’s wondering what approach to take. In this case, he probably just needs time. Your task in this situation is to show him your willingness to communicate, solve your problems, and work on your relationship.

• Anger?

Is there a possibility that he’s angry with you for some reason? If the guy you’re dating is upset with you, and their way of dealing with it is to ignore you, it might be a red flag.

You need communication to have a healthy relationship, so if you notice signs of anger, but he never mentions why he’s angry, he’s either stewing or waiting to cool off.

Maybe this is a man who has a hard time talking about his feelings, good or bad ones. It can be challenging to reach such a person and encourage them to communicate. A proven way is to do it through actions.

Do something nice for him, but remind him (gently) that in a relationship, the mature thing is to be open about what is bothering you. A simple “talk to me” is often enough to make a person open up.

• Playing games?

man with phone in hand

Some people thrive on push-and-pull games. They find half the fun in relationships in playing hot and cold. They’re not texting or calling because it’s a part of their strategy.

He tells you he loves you, then doesn’t call you on Valentine’s Day. He calls you their best friend, but on your day off, he’s “with the dudes.” When you ask him to help out with something, his coworker’s cactus suddenly needs watering.

If he’s playing games, it’s up to you to decide if you want to go along with it. In my opinion, this isn’t a good sign that a relationship is going to progress into something substantial.

On the other hand, if you’re interested in something temporary and casual, you might find a thrill in him keeping you on your toes.

However, recognize that someone who likes to do this is usually doing it to establish a certain relationship dynamic and might only have their own interests in mind.

• Seeing someone else?

Depending on what stage of the relationship you’re in, as well as what kind of relationship it is, seeing other people might not be a problem. Maybe he’s not texting because he’s spending time with someone else.

If you’ve just gone out a couple of times, it’s reasonable to expect that he might be dating others. You most likely are too. Maybe last time you saw each other, you had a good date, yet he never followed up with a text or call. In this case, it’s a good idea for you to reach out.

If you’re in a more serious relationship, and it turns out that there is someone else, my first suggestion, as usual, is to talk to him about it. Is your relationship committed and exclusive?

Does he know whether or not it bothers you if he’s seeing other people?

If your significant other is seeing another person and knows that it’s hurting you, you have a difficult decision to make. Dating advice isn’t helpful in this situation.

Some people can handle this and forgive – for others, this is a deal-breaker. Regardless of which kind of person you are, put yourself and your feelings first. Think carefully and do whatever will end up hurting you the least.

What To Do While Waiting For That Text

two happy women in cafe

Now that we’ve got the hard part out of the way, I still maintain that the most likely reason he’s not texting is that he’s just busy.

In situations that have many possible reasons, such as this, trust your gut feeling, but I think that worry and anxiety should be your last response. If he can go a day without talking to you, it’s not a problem.

Let’s say you texted him, and there’s still no reply. You may be on read, or he never even opened the text. Whichever the case, you’ve decided it’s his turn, and now you wait.

I’m sure you know all these things I’m about to mention, but I think it’s good to be reminded of this from time to time.

Here are some ideas on how to spend the time until he contacts you. (Warning! You might forget that you ever sent that text message.)

• Consider this a good chance to evaluate yourself. Journaling, revisiting old photos, and thinking about your past relationships may give you a clue on how to make this one thrive. Do something you liked to do as a child.

• Prioritize your well-being, feelings, and mental health. The old saying “love yourself” is cliché but indisputable. No one should go through life without being their own favorite person. Do good things for yourself. Go to the gym. Play with your pet. Re-read your favorite book.

• Spend time with your loved ones. Strengthen relationships you already have in your life. Give and ask for support. Nurture connections with the people you love. Visit a family member or a friend you haven’t seen in a while and recall the reasons why they’re important to you.

• Focus on your goals in life. Maybe you have work goals, or you might want to become better at your hobby. Perhaps your goal is to learn something new. Regardless, working on something you’re interested in will make you feel satisfied. It takes both a sense of enjoyment and accomplishment to be happy in life.

• Find one or more ways to relax. Take a walk in nature, do some yoga, enjoy a hot bath or simply sleep – whatever helps you chill is the way to go. Everyday stress is hard on all of us, especially when we’re looking for love. We easily forget that unless we’re content with our lives, attracting good people into it isn’t going to be easy.

In Closing

Maybe the man you’re dating is a busy introvert who likes to talk face to face and is trying not to appear too eager. If he can go a day without talking to you, those are the most probable reasons.

Nevertheless, there are some signs that he’s not texting because there are issues. Scroll back up to check them out and learn how to deal with them.

Whatever the reason, don’t forget to take care of yourself. Appreciate yourself, and don’t shy away from asking for help and asking for what you want.

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