It’s something in human nature that makes people unaware of what they have until they lose it. That’s why I know that you will want to crawl back into my life. But I am afraid that’s going to be too late.
You flaked out on me because you were afraid of how good we were together.
You were afraid to take things to the next level. You were scared of any kind of commitment. I see no other reason. It all happened so suddenly and it broke my heart in a split second that I still can’t wrap my head around what happened.
I am trying to deal with it. I know that love can’t be one-sided, that it takes effort from both of us. But you are making things hard for me. You are still holding on to me in a way and it makes it harder to live through this.
Even if we officially ended our story, I get a text from you every now and then.
You want us to stay in touch, to act like we are friends. I don’t see the point in that. I am not an actress and life is too short for pretending.
It’s not easy to act like friends when we both know that we are something more. I will have to put an end to it. It’s giving me a false sense that I still have you in my life when I actually don’t.
Maybe the real reason you are keeping in touch is so you can prevent me from moving on.
You know that my feelings haven’t changed and even a tiny display of affection from you will prevent me from trying to continue with someone new.
You want me in your life but you don’t want to be committed.
It’s so unfair to me. You are unsure of what you want or what you feel but you don’t want anybody else around me.
I have to tell you that when you love somebody, there shouldn’t be any place for uncertainty—either you love or you don’t. I know that for a fact because there is no doubt in my mind about my feelings toward you.
That’s why I am letting you go. That’s why I am cutting you off and ending all forms of communication between us.
I care and I am done pretending that we are just friends. If you realize that what we had was worth fixing, worth saving and worth fighting for, I will be here. At least for some time.
I feel it in my heart that you will come back someday but I am unsure if I will still be waiting.
I will have to move on at some point.
Maybe you will realize everything when I am already happy with somebody else, when somebody else is keeping me warm at night. When somebody else wants to know how my day went and what I am up to.
I know that now it seems things will stay the same as the day you left. But things are constantly changing. I am constantly changing and one day I will wake up without you on my mind.
One day, all I will feel for you is indifference and you wanting me back won’t matter anymore.
One day, I might love somebody else and the place in my heart you are occupying now will no longer be available.