Being friends with your ex is not always a complete disaster. Sometimes, believe it or not, it can actually turn into a meaningful friendship.
After all, that person spent a great amount of time with you and you shared a lot of moments together. You’ve been through good and bad; that is something you don’t forget that easily. You may break up, but you can’t erase the existence of that person.
Although it ended the way it did, you still have some fond memories of your time together. There were times he made you happy when you were together, when he surprised you by doing something beautiful. It wasn’t awful all the time, especially not in the beginning.
If the two of you could focus on those great times you had together instead of how you messed each other up, you could have a beautiful and long-lasting friendship. All it takes is understanding and respecting each other.
Here are some reasons why it’s okay for you to be friends with your ex.
1. By keeping your heart open, you’ll be able to find love again
If you live your life forgiving people who did you wrong and opening your heart to the ones who are around you, you will attract positive things happening to you, too. Some call it karma, some call it good luck, but the way you treat others will come back to you later on. By maintaining a good relationship with your ex, you’re forgiving yourself. You’re going to be a better person with much more confidence, which will pay off when you finally meet someone new.
2. It was a happy break-up
OK, no break-up is happy, but let’s say that yours wasn’t ugly. You kind of expected it and maybe it was a mutual agreement between two people who just realized that they had nothing in common so they decided to break it off before someone got seriously hurt. This kind of situation is perfect for the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
3. He already knows everything about you
It’s easy to talk to him because you don’t have to explain yourself and the things you do or don’t do, or eat or don’t eat. He already knows all of that. It feels natural talking to him and despite the fact you’re no longer together, it would be nice to act nice and keep him in your life as a friend.
4. You have a lot of mutual friends
If you have a lot of mutual friends and you don’t want to create any awkward situations for them, you’re better off staying friends. Imagine if one of your friends is having a birthday party and you are both invited. Wouldn’t it be better for you to stay friends and go to the party with no resentment or anger that was left from the break-up? Also, you can always stay friends but keep your distance; you don’t have to spend the whole night next to each other. But it’s also important that you don’t bother each other with your presence.
5. You’ve moved on
You’ve had your share of tears and you’ve passed the healing process. Now that you hold nothing against him, it’s normal to be friends. Now that you are over him, his new girlfriend won’t bother you and you won’t be staring in his direction the whole time, fearing someone will hit on him.
6. There is no more sexual tension
Maybe you got out of a long-term relationship where sex had turned from a source of pleasure to a habit. And now that you’ve broken up, if someone else attracts you more than your ex-partner, it’s safe to say that you can be lifelong friends.
7. You are both emotionally mature
Your maturity allowed you to look at things from a different perspective. You realized that he means a lot to you and that you don’t want to lose him, so if you had to break up, that doesn’t mean you mustn’t see each other ever again. You are reasonable enough to let him into your life as a friend.
8. You stopped living in the past
You finally moved on and you realized that the past should stay where it belongs. Whatever you went through is way behind you and nothing you do can change that. The only thing that can change is your relationship with your ex. So, if you decide to, you can let him into your life and the two of you can start all over again, but this time in different roles.
9. You care about each other
You still care about each other but not in the same way as before. You grew to develop a different relationship, so why should you lose that just because of a stupid unwritten rule that exes shouldn’t be friends. If you want to be friends and if you still have some feelings for each other, do it.
10. He gives you good advice
You know that whenever you have a problem you can go to him. Even when you were in a relationship, he knew how to give you good advice. He didn’t do it that often, but when he did, he knew how. You still value his opinion and you’ve got nothing against him, so he has nothing to lose and he will be completely honest.
Hi everyone!! I’m Maria, but all of my friends call me Mare (meaning the sea in Italian). I was born and raised by the sea in a small town in the Mediterranean. I’m an “accidental” writer and a passionate singer. Alongside with being a mom, I spend my free time doing gigs which my friends never miss. I think that family and friends are the most valuable thing you can have in your life. That is what I see every day when I look at my son and the loving people around me. Would you like to join my little group and become my friend, too?