Recent research has found that a breakup can cause the same damage as a heart attack!
So, there’s definitely no need to add more to it.
Breakups really suck and they are capable of damaging you mentally and physically in no time.
And if you’re going through one at the moment, receive my virtual hug and the promise that you will survive and everything will be fine in the end – because it always is.
But, I understand that this doesn’t mean shit to you because it’s really hard to think positively in your current situation.
So, let’s see what we can do to make you feel better and make your breakup as bearable as possible.
One thing is sure.
You cannot delete anything of what happened and there is no real recipe or survival guide that will help you “conquer” your breakup.
That said, there are some things that you can pay attention to in order to not make your breakup even worse than it is!
There are some fatal mistakes that people make when they are trying to move on and hasten their recovery, which can negatively influence them and their future relationships as well.
In order to keep that from happening, here is the list of things you really shouldn’t be doing during a breakup phase!
1. Avoiding the “no contact” rule
The “no contact” rule means exactly what it says.
It means not seeking out the other person, no matter what, for 20 or more days.
This includes meeting them in person, texting them, stalking them, asking other people about them, and even thinking about them (if possible).
Cutting off all contact with your ex after a breakup is a prerequisite to faster and less painful recovery.
So, if you avoid the “no contact” rule, you could make a serious mistake that will make your breakup even worse and prolong the healing time.
2. Thinking dating apps will make you feel better
When we break up with someone, we feel vulnerable and sensitive, and our self-confidence is shaken.
That is why we tend to jump onto dating apps thinking that they will make us feel better.
But, seeking validation from other people will make you feel better only for a few seconds or minutes.
In the long run, it is never really helpful and it can bring you more damage than good.
3. Constantly comparing your own experience to other people’s
Every person experiences breakup in their own way and every story is a story in itself.
Some people need more time to heal, others less.
So, by trying to identify yourself with and draw certain conclusions from other people’s experiences, you’ll end up only making you even more confused and desperate.
In a flourishing time of social media, it is really hard to refrain from stalking your ex online.
It’s really hard to resist the temptation to text them, like their picture, or simply stalk their every move.
After all, they are someone you spent a certain period of your life with and it’s really hard (if not impossible) to simply delete them from your life.
But, no matter how hard it may be, stalking your ex on social media is never a good idea.
It will only make you feel worse and it will have a negative impact on your healing time.
So, the best thing to do is to delete them from every social media platform – hide your mobile phone if need be so that you aren’t tempted to stalk them.
See also: Break-Up Recovery: 7 Promising Ways To Get Back On Your Feet
5. Seeking advice from too many people
Seeking advice from too many people has never been helpful.
Too many opinions equals a mix of different interpretations, thoughts, and advice, which is never good.
Instead of doing this, you should seek advice only from a few close people whom you really trust and who helped you before.
And also, don’t forget to listen to yourself and your own gut as well!
6. Finding someone new before the old relationship is even over
Some people have a fear of being lonely (especially when they’ve been in a relationship for a long time) and that is why they find someone new before officially breaking up with their current partner.
But, this is the biggest mistake of all.
Rushing into a new relationship is not a recipe for healing.
It’ll only make you feel even more fucked up than you actually are.
If there were an actual recipe for surviving a breakup, it would definitely consist of time and your determination to stick to the “no contact” rule.
7. Comparing the new people you meet to your ex
When you finally start feeling like you’re over your ex and you start dating again, comparing the new people you meet to your ex will probably come to you naturally.
But, by doing this, you might jump to conclusions and drive away your potential partners for no apparent reason.
Remember that not all the people you meet are reincarnations of your ex and even if there are some similarities between them, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they will behave in the exact same manner.