When you miss your ex-boyfriend, the only thing that bothers you is if he misses you back. But although that is important to know, there are some more crucial things you need to resolve with yourself before confessing your feelings to him. Here are 5 questions to ask yourself before you tell your ex you miss him.

1. Is this love or ego?

When we lose someone we thought belonged to us, we tend to feel a different range of emotions. Of course, the first one is usually shock, followed by an enormous amount of emotional pain. But something not many of us are aware of is that this pain sometimes doesn’t have a lot to do with love. Sometimes, we miss a person because we got used to having them in our life or we suffer for all the future plans we won’t be able to accomplish with that someone, now that they are gone. But there are also times in which our heart is not the thing which is actually hurt, even though we don’t know it. There are times when there is simply too much vanity in us which prevents us from accepting that we’ve lost someone we thought would always be ours. We take this person’s departure as a personal defeat and our ego makes us think we would do anything just to have this person back. So one of the first questions you need to ask yourself before you decide to tell your ex you miss him is, “Is this love or just my ego talking?” Are you just jealous of him for moving on with his life before you did or is it that you really can’t imagine spending the rest of your life without this person by your side?

2. Do I really miss all of him?

After the break-up happens and some time passes by, one of your brain’s defense mechanisms is there to make you forget most of the bad memories you shared with this person. This way, after a while, you end up remembering only the beautiful things from your past relationship and it is natural for you to feel nostalgic when you remember these moments. But if you think of getting back together with your ex, you need to be aware that your relationship wasn’t all that great because otherwise the two of you wouldn’t have broken things off. Therefore, you need to ask yourself whether you miss this person completely and entirely or you just miss the parts of him you liked—because he is still the whole package, despite your wishes.

3. Is this relationship something worth fighting for?

Another question you need to ask yourself before telling your ex you miss him is if this relationship is something worth fighting for. Is this a relationship you wish to spend years and maybe even the rest of your life in? Or is it actually something you can see yourself forgetting about in a few months? Is this relationship and is this man worthy of your energy, time and patience and, most importantly, are they worthy of you? These are all the questions you need to answer yourself realistically and you need to be certain of your answers before you act on your potential feelings.

4. Am I ready to go through everything once again?

If you tell your boyfriend that you miss him and if he says it back to you, the chances are that the two of you will get back together. But it doesn’t mean all of your problems will magically go away and this is one of the most important lessons your break-up will teach you, if you go back to your ex. You need to be aware of the fact that the same outcome of your relationship is very much possible. The two of you are still the same people you were before and the fact that you might miss one another doesn’t change that fact. So the question you need to ask yourself before doing anything about your feelings is if you are ready to go through one more break-up and everything it will bring with it, because that is a possible risk of you getting back together with him.

5. Can we forgive each other?

The fact is that something had to lead to your break-up for it to happen. But it is one thing if you had some smaller disagreements and it is something completely different if the two of you have hurt each other. If this is the case, what you need to ask yourself is if you and your ex are ready to forgive one another for all the pain you’ve caused. Because there is no point in getting back together if you two will constantly go back to the same things that you did to each other.