Have you ever been torn apart between your heart and your reason? Between your desires and needs?
Between wanting something that is wrong for you and knowing what is right but not having the courage to go for it?
Well, I know I have. For a long time, I made most of my life decisions based exclusively on what I wanted.
I thought of myself as a spontaneous girl who was always led by the moment.
A girl who knew how to go with the flow and who knew how to enjoy the present.
And to be honest, I was proud of myself for being like that. Proud of the fact that I’d managed to remain the same girl who didn’t have the need to calculate her moves.
Proud of being a girl who followed her heart, no matter where it took her.
This was especially the case with love. For as long as I can remember, the only criteria for being with a guy were my emotions.
When I loved a man enough, I was more than ready to forgive him anything.
I was ready to forget about his flaws and even the way he was treating me, as long as I was certain that he was the one I wanted by my side.
However, after years of living like that and after more than one heartbreak, I realized that listening to my heart brought me more pain than I was ready to admit.
It brought me more disappointments and emotional trauma than I could count and it often made me accept way less than I deserved.
I realized that it was time to grow up and to start taking into consideration what my reason was telling me as well.
And that is exactly what I’m advising you to do.
Don’t get me wrong—I’m not telling you to disregard the wishes of your heart completely.
I’m not telling you to start acting cold or heartless, without ever including your emotions in your decisions.
Let’s face it—it would be easier to always do what you WANT to do, without having to think about the consequences, if the things and the people we want are always the things and the people who are good for us. However, life isn’t like that, is it?
So, now it’s time to be a big girl who knows when it’s time to put her wishes aside.
A big girl who knows that choosing what’s best for her is going after what she deserves.
This is especially the case with romantic love.
No matter how crazy you might be for a guy, you can’t go after him if you know very well that he isn’t right for you.
No matter how much love you still have for your ex, you can’t go back to him, knowing that he’ll keep on breaking your heart and being aware that you guys have no future together.
Despite your emotions and wants, you can’t make the mistake of your life, knowing that following your desires would be the worst choice of your life.
You can’t be with someone who doesn’t respect you, despite all the butterflies you might feel by his side.
You can’t stay next to your abuser, despite wanting him to change and hoping that he will.
So please, for once, forget about what you want and remember what you deserve.
Remember that you deserve more than a man’s half-assed love, more than someone not seeing your worth, more than being played with… You deserve to be happy.
You’re the only one who can make yourself happy. The only one who has the power in her own hands to make her life worth living.
You’re the one who has to make a decision right now: will you continue being an immature girl who doesn’t have the strength to fight with her heart, knowing it’s the right thing to do?
Or will you finally grow up, become a tough girl and start doing what’s best for you?
I won’t lie to you—distancing yourself from what you want and going after what you deserve is anything but easy.
It takes a lot of willpower and inner strength to stop settling for less but it is something you have to do sooner or later.
