If you’ve ever tried to stop loving someone, you know how impossible that may seem.

But although it is a process that takes time, energy and patience, it is far from impossible. Although love is an emotion that can’t be controlled, there are some ways that can help you kill all the feelings you have for someone.

Here are 5 of them:

1. Face the reality

When you feel like you’ve lost yourself to a heartbreak, the hardest but most necessary thing is to accept the harsh truth. Whether your relationship is over or the man you love just doesn’t love you back, if you want to stop loving him, the first thing you need to do is to face reality, no matter how painful it can be.

You need to get rid of all the hope that this man will be yours, because hope is exactly what is keeping your love for him alive. I am not saying this will be the easiest thing to do—I know it is painful but it is just something you need to do if you really want to move on with your life.

I know you can’t tell your heart what to do but the first step you have to take is consciously deciding that you will stop loving him.

2. Embrace your sadness

People usually have the tendency of doing anything in their power to escape sadness, because they think it will make them too weak. And I am here to tell you that this is one of the biggest mistakes you could make.

There is nothing wrong with expressing your feelings and hiding them from yourself can be more harmful than you think. If you feel like crying, cry. If you feel like screaming, feel free to scream.

Do whatever it takes, just give yourself time to heal. The worst thing you can do is fake that you are OK when you are obviously not. It is better to give yourself a mourning period than to let these negative emotions catch you sooner or later.

3. Think about all the negative qualities of this person

When we love someone, we usually look at this person through rose-colored glasses.

You probably think of this man as better than he really is and you fail to see his numerous flaws. But if you want to stop loving him for real, you’ll have to start looking at him differently. I am not saying that you should start hating him but maybe it’s time to focus on his negative qualities.

This way, you’ll see that he is only human and that he has his imperfections as well. Every time you start to think of this man, force yourself to think about the things you don’t like about him and that will help you change the image you have of him.

4. Stay away from this person

If you really want to stop loving someone, you need to keep him out of your sight. And that means that you should avoid all form of contact with this man—you shouldn’t call him or answer his calls, you should avoid going to the places where you think you might meet him.

If it is necessary, block his number or change yours and block him on all social networks. This may appear like an impolite thing to do and you may think it is too harsh, but trust me—it is something you need to do if you want to get over him.

With time, you’ll see the results of this step, because there will be fewer and fewer things reminding you of him and causing you to think of him.

5. Keep yourself busy

While you are in a grieving period, you think you’ll never stop loving this man. You can’t make yourself do anything except cry for this guy. Your friends and family bore you and there is nothing that can keep your attention for long enough.

Instead of going out in public, you would rather just lie in your bed, grieving your loss. And that is one of the worst mistakes you could make. If you really want to stop loving someone, you need to do whatever it takes to keep your mind off of him. And the best thing to do is keep yourself busy at all times.

It will be hard in the beginning but with time, you’ll see that you are slowly starting to focus on some other things.