It is almost impossible to go through life without experiencing some tough truths, difficult lessons, and an abundance of pain.

Even the happiest people in your life probably got to that happy place the hard way. Unfortunately, you’re no exception, and neither am I.

Whether we like it or not, pain is part of life. If not for pain, it would be that much harder to appreciate the good things you have and hold them really close. And do you know why?

Because you know firsthand exactly how excruciating it is to be without those things.

The person who loves the hardest is usually the person who has been through the toughest ordeal.

Because the pain we experience changes us, and it’s almost as if we have no say in the matter.

Pain makes you more guarded and less trustworthy.

Depressed woman sitting on ground, female in depression sadness in dark tone

A painful experience, especially if it includes betrayal from a person who was supposed to love you, causes one to distance themselves from people.

And ultimately, that’s perfectly understandable.

Once you’ve been let down by a loved one (be that a romantic partner or your very best friend), you learn to shut people out.

There’s a dose of uncertainty as to what people really want from you and your inability to endure another betrayal due to your fragile emotional state.

Until you truly feel better, it is easier to put some distance between yourself and others, and make sure you don’t suffer the kind of pain you’ve already experienced once.

You firmly decide that you won’t let just anyone in anymore. And that’s a good thing.

That is how a horrible event paves the way for better things to come into your life.

This is the kind of change that you will profit from because it puts YOU and your needs first.

Pain makes it hard for you to forget the past.

Silhouette of woman's head with waving hair, back light

Sometimes, a broken heart can hurt almost as much as actual physical pain. And no, it’s not due to self-pity that you impose on yourself.

It’s simply far too much pain having your heart shattered by those who were supposed to guard it.

And it becomes impossible to forget. You want to. And you try like hell.

But every time you put yourself out there, you see the person who caused you emotional pain in somebody else, and it all comes flooding back.

You are not to blame for that. The pain has changed you.

But the only person to blame is the one who put you through this in the first place.

There’s a reason this person is in your past, and they should stay there for as long as you live.

Let your painful encounters become the best stories on how you survived and grew.

That is the best way they can change you. All you need to do is not let them make you bitter but instead—aware and alert.

Pain makes you think that good things cannot last.

The girl looks at her reflection in the window . a young girl and her long hair

There is still hope within you.

It hasn’t completely vanished; it has just made you believe that even if you were lucky enough to find someone good, it surely wouldn’t last. 

Now, you no longer expect a positive outcome.

You just pray that the good time lasts long enough for you to enjoy it, until it’s taken away again.

Every happiness that finds you is short-lived and ever so evasive.

It’s easier expecting little and getting crumbs, than to expect what you actually deserve and get disappointed.

Heartbreak is a b****. It makes you believe you aren’t entitled to the good life because you are taught that life will eventually take it all away.

But it won’t. Just because you went through it once doesn’t mean it’s destined to repeat itself. 

The first time you get hurt is the hardest. But every next time is a lesson on what to avoid.

And once you steer clear of what’s not right and embrace what you deserve, you will notice small (but very important) changes.

Pain makes you forget about the importance of your mental health.

Image of sad depressed 40s Asian or Japanese woman sitting on floor,her hands closed on face or pulling her untidy hair

When you let someone get close enough, sometimes, you get burned.

It sucks, and it makes you feel like a knife has been put through your chest.

And the residual pain can sometimes make you forget to take care of your mental health.

Yes, this person hurt you, and yes, you’ve been through hell and back.

But under no circumstances should you let an irrelevant individual cause you that much emotional pain.

Because that only destroys your mental health, bit by bit, day by day.

You are the only one in charge of your happiness. Not your mother.

Not your boyfriend. And for SURE not your ex. It all starts with you.

And once you truly understand how important it is to nurture your mind as well as your soul, every heartbreak will become a little easier to deal with.

And it’s all because you’ll have realized that all that shit doesn’t define you.

The pain your ex has caused you doesn’t make you or break you if you don’t let it. So don’t let it! 

Pain makes you reflect, re-evaluate, and grow.

Thoughtful successful motivated businesswoman looking away dreaming of future in office, confident millennial female boss

 

Take all the emotional pain you’ve been through in life, and reflect on how it has changed you.

Certainly, you will see some of the positives that have come from it.

You used to date a certain type of person, and ever since you stopped, you’ve probably noticed your love life has become less toxic. 

You used to let your partner take advantage of you (in more ways than one) and ever since you decided enough was enough, you feel so much more liberated and free.

See? It all starts with you! Yeah, pain WILL change you. But it’s up to you to decide if it’s for the better or worse. 

At first, it will sting.

But as time goes by, that burn will turn your bitterness into a genuine smile because you will finally see all the good that can come from it!

Now that you’ve been through it all, you understand how to avoid the bad and embrace the good.

And once you see the beauty that hides in every heartbreak and every betrayal, you’ll go back to the happy, carefree person you used to be—but with a little twist!

Now, you put YOURSELF and your emotions first. And if someone doesn’t like it—they know where the door is!

And doesn’t that feel so damn good to say?

All The Surprising Ways In Which Emotional Pain Changes People