Let me start this with a question: how many times have you been in love to the point where you would have done anything to make a particular person happy, but the relationship turned out to be toxic in the end for the both of you? Too many times, right? That is a truly simple example of the fact that you can be in love with someone even though you’re not compatible.

I have figured this out on my own skin. I wasn’t as heartbroken by the fact that we weren’t meant to be together as I was when I found out that all those dreams I had about the two of us growing old together were going to stay just dreams. I wanted to love him until the end of our times, but we simply weren’t meant to be.

There were very simple differences like the fact that he was a night owl and I was an early bird. Then, there were bigger ones like he didn’t have the need to talk about his feelings nor listen to me talk about mine, because he simply found it to be a boring topic. While I? I can always talk and extend my mind. I can always tell you that the way I feel at any moment is connected to a certain event in the past and that I get triggered by usual, everyday things. Yes. We were that different.

The biggest difference between us was the perception we had of our whole relationship. Let me just tell you that he was a rather independent person, a loner some may say, but I, on the other hand, am someone very extroverted who loves to hang out with people I love. So of course, I adored hanging out with him while he always needed his alone time.

It the end, it always resulted in fights, me yelling that he doesn’t love me at all and him denying it, telling me that I had gone completely mad. It was obvious to see that our relationship wasn’t going anywhere. When we were breaking up, I was heartbroken to know the real reason—when he came up to me and told me that he loved me to death but we simply weren’t right for each other.

My mind went blank and all I could think about at that time was that he was lying! I told him that we were perfect for each other. I begged him to not do this because things weren’t that bad at all. I said that I loved him, too, so how could we not be compatible? How could I fall in love with someone who wasn’t right for me?

When things began to clear in my head, I saw what he had been talking about that day. I finally saw it clearly. Whenever we would talk, we would never look at things from the same perspective. I was too emotional for his rationality and he simply had bigger priorities than me. But it doesn’t change the fact that my chest still hurts from the mere thought of it.

I wanted him to stay by my side. I wanted him to talk to me. I wanted him to be there for me and maybe he even wanted all these things himself but in a completely different way. Because of that reason, we split up and we never talked again.

That’s why you should never be devastated when you fall in love but you two end up going your separate ways. You shouldn’t be depressed; you shouldn’t be sad. Love simply wasn’t enough for the two of you to stay together. Relationships are hard work, a lot of talking and they are about having a shoulder to cry on. Some people simply can’t give you that in the amount that you would want to have it.

Until you find the man who is perfect for you, meeting your needs and appreciating you fully, don’t just sit around sobbing and crying, because it’s not something that will help you at all. Just know that he truly will come, remember that he will love you completely and accept you fully. You will be everything he ever wanted and more. You will love him and this time, maybe, love will be enough.