I had this guy tell me once: “I connect with you so much.” I didn’t understand what he meant. I was like, “Really?? Who says that?”

At the time, it didn’t mean much to me because I didn’t quite feel a “connection” moment. I knew I liked him a ton, maybe even almost loved him. I couldn’t understand why he used ‘connection’ rather than simple terms like “I enjoy spending time with you.” or “I like you.”.

This guy was a lot more mature than I was, so he used different words than I did to describe his feelings. So, I decided to just give it time to see if I felt this connection or to see if he would ever change up his words.

There was this day where we were just laying there, and I looked into his eyes and finally it clicked—I had that connection moment. It was the best feeling ever, a feeling that every girl should experience. The feeling of “this is the only place I’m meant to be in the world right now, is here with you and nowhere else”. The best part about this connection was that I knew he felt the exact same way. He gave me this look that will stay in my mind forever.

Now, there have been a couple of guys who told me they loved me and I couldn’t remember a time when I actually felt love. I saw nothing behind their eyes. I realized it is because connecting with someone is so much different than loving someone. To love someone is to care about them and never want to hurt them. To sacrifice your happiness for theirs. Take care of their hearts. Basically, anything mushy you could add to that.

Every woman wants to hear those three words, but does it mean anything when they are forced? Or you don’t feel anything behind those actual words? Loving someone almost seems like a responsibility, a good responsibility, but sometimes it might not be the most romantic thing to hear.

Of course, all women want to be cared for and protected, but sometimes we just want to connect, even if it doesn’t mean a commitment. Commitments are sometimes overwhelming. There is nothing better than enjoying that carefree time you have with each other, connecting and building the foundation of your relationship.

Women shouldn’t worry so much about getting your man to say, “I love you.” Society puts so much pressure on relationships and bases the seriousness of the relationship on ‘I love you’, engagements, kids and so forth. Women need to be strong and build that connection first and not have to worry in a relationship. Trust your man and what he says. Sometimes we don’t hear what we want to hear, but take time to actually feel what he is saying.

by Kathleen Boers