Breakups can bring relief or be one of the worst things that ever happened to you. Depending on what your relationship was like and how it ended, getting back with your ex might not sound like such a bad idea.
If you’ve been reminiscing about those parts of your relationship that worked and you’re wondering why it was again that you broke up in the first place, discovering signs your ex is waiting for you must be what you’re hoping for.
On the other hand, if you’ve moved on and want your ex to stay firmly in the friend-zone, knowing your ex wants you back is probably not good news.
Either way, here are all the signs you need to figure out how your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend feels about you.
What Are The Signs Your Ex Is Waiting For You?
When a relationship ends, it always ends in heartbreak. Even if you’re happy to be out of it, you have still invested your feelings and time in what you had, so it’s only natural to mourn the breakup.
After some time has passed, you’re in one of two situations: you’re either done with your ex and happy that it’s all over, or you miss them and want to get back together. So how can you tell if you still have a chance of getting back on your ex’s good side?
The signs your ex is waiting for you are pretty obvious if you know how to pay attention. Here are the hints you need to be sure.
1. Your ex stays in touch
One of the biggest signs that your ex wants you back is if they stay in touch after your breakup. Even if they don’t want to admit it right now or they need time to think, if your ex doesn’t care about the no contact rule, they’re not trying to get over you.
If your ex can’t resist calling or texting you and they always have something to tell you, it’s clear that they still consider you a part of their life and want you in it. This is an obvious sign that they don’t see your breakup as final.
When your ex is following you on social media, they either want to keep up to date with your life because they still care or because they want to make sure you haven’t moved on yet. Trying to get your attention on social media is a way of establishing contact that might be impossible otherwise, for example, if you blocked their phone.
Your ex would have unfollowed you if they didn’t want anything to do with you. Unless they’re a very petty person who is checking what you – their ex – is doing to make sure you’re not ‘winning the breakup,’ it’s a sign that they’re not ready to let you go.
3. Your ex is always available when you need something
A clear sign that your ex still has feelings for you is if they’re available when you ask for something. When you reach out because you need help or a favor or if you’re used to having them around in certain situations, and they always say yes, they want to be a part of your life.
If you were together for a long time, you learned to rely on each other. Still, even if it seems like it’s just a habit from the past, if they didn’t want to show you that you can still lean on them, they wouldn’t answer when you needed them.
4. Your ex looks for you when they need something
The reverse from the point above is another good sign: if it’s you your ex reaches out to when they need something, it shows you that they think of you as someone who has a place in their life.
Even if you became distant immediately after you broke up, this could be a sign that your ex is becoming interested again and wants to get close. Being open about needing you is how your ex is letting you know how important you are to them.
5. Your ex talks about you and has only good things to say
When your mutual friends or your ex’s friends can’t help but mention the good things your ex keeps saying about you, your breakup isn’t final.
Some breakups are amicable, and some end in bitterness, but they always end up in a changed perspective about the person who was once important to you.
In a relationship, you look at your partner through the lens of love; after breaking up, you see them through the lens of failure, heartbreak, or indifference.
If your ex still sees you as if you were in a relationship and never becomes disillusioned, it’s clear they still want you. Even the kindest person doesn’t feel like praising an ex to others if they don’t want them around any longer.
6. Your ex admits they miss you
How do you know your ex still wants you? They’ll find a way to tell you. Even if they’re still not ready to try again, when your ex misses you, they won’t be able to hide it.
They might text you something romantic, then pretend nothing happened. They might not say it to you directly, but they’ll mention it to other people. They might want you to know, but they don’t have the courage to tell you, so they make sure you find out somehow.
If your ex misses you and wants you back, you’ll hear about it one way or another.
7. Your ex isn’t dating anyone
They might have gone through a rebound relationship or haven’t dated anyone at all since you broke up, but either way, when your ex decides that they want to get back together with you, they will lose interest in new relationships.
If they break up with someone they were seeing while showing more signs from this list, it’s an especially good sign that they want you back and are planning to do something about it.
8. Your ex tries to make you jealous
So you broke up and decided to be just friends, but your ex is taking it too far.
They’re flaunting other people’s interest, making sure you know that they could have someone else. Maybe they’re dating someone, but they always bring this person somewhere you or your friends show up.
This behavior usually means that your ex is testing you or that they’re trying to make you jealous. They would keep things private if they didn’t care about your reaction.
9. Your ex is interested in your love life
Sometimes, after a bad breakup, people try to soothe their hurt by making sure they have it better than their ex. On the other hand, if your ex is interested in all the details of your love life, it might be more than competitiveness.
If they can’t help but keep asking about who you’re dating, since when, how close you are, and whatever else comes to their mind, they’re waiting for you to break up. If your new partner becomes your ex’s most hated person, it’s a clear sign your ex wants you back.
10. Your ex ‘accidentally’ bumps into you
You feel like you’re seeing your ex as often as when you were together because they keep showing up wherever you are. It’s not by accident, of course – your ex shows up where you are because they want to see you.
Your ex knows where you like to eat and where you like to hang out. They know your routine, and they know when to expect you somewhere. If they wanted to avoid you, as everyone who’s done with their ex would, they’d know exactly what places to stay away from.
11. Your ex stays in touch with your friends
If your mutual friends haven’t picked sides after you broke up and your ex is in touch with them, they’re not trying to cut ties with you.
When you’re done with your ex, being friends with the same people they are is the last thing you want – all you want is for them to be as far away from you as possible. Hanging out with mutual friends without trying to convince them to choose your side only makes sense for someone who’s interested in keeping their ex in their life.
12. Your ex keeps asking about you
One of the signs your ex is miserable without you is when they can’t help but ask everyone who’s in touch with you about what you’ve been up to, how you are, and, of course, if you’re dating anyone.
Being openly interested in you is a good sign that your ex wants you back because it means that they’re not hiding that they still care about you.
13. Your ex never returned your stuff
Your ex might not have returned your stuff either because they threw it out or they’re hoping you’ll use it again. You’d know if your ex was hostile and wanted to be rid of you, so keeping your stuff around just in case you return is a good sign that they want a second chance.
14. Your ex makes excuses to see you
One of the most obvious signs your ex is waiting for you to come back is if they constantly make excuses to meet up, come over, or hang out with you. They might not be ready to admit it yet, but if your ex wants you in their life, they’ll try to make you a part of it any way they know how.
If you want to get your ex back and you’ve noticed many of these signs in their behavior, don’t be afraid to make a move because they want the same thing.
15. Your ex flirts with you
Exes sometimes flirt out of habit or because there are still feelings between them. If your ex is still into you and wants you back, they’ll flirt to give you a sign of interest.
Flirting between exes who are still interested in each other isn’t much different than flirting between people who have never been together but feel powerful attraction towards each other. If you’re interested in them, too, accept their flirting and have fun.
16. Your ex drunk texts you
One of the classic signs that your ex is not over you is if they drunk dial you or send you impulsive text messages when they’ve had too much to drink. This happens when your ex thinks about you a lot but doesn’t have the courage to contact you when sober.
As their inhibitions disappear, drink after drink, they’ll become more and more daring and decide to tell it like it is. Drunk texts might not reflect their true feelings but an exaggeration of them.
Still, just the fact that they feel the need to contact you when they drink is a sign that there’s still something going on between you.
17. Your ex replies immediately when you contact them
Texting in dating and relationships say a lot about how you feel. Keeping someone waiting to seem cool or counting the number of texts each of you sends are some of the games people like to play to control the power in the relationship.
If you text your ex and they reply right away, they don’t care about keeping their cool. They want you to know that they pay attention to you and that they don’t want to keep you waiting. This is a great sign that your ex wants you back.
18. Your ex talks about good old times
There’s still something between you and your ex if you like recalling happy memories together, such as your first date, the first trip you took together, or that one time when you did something that was only funny to the two of you.
Why would you be spending time together if there was nothing between you? If you still feel connected to your ex, be careful that you’re not only hanging on to the past but that you can imagine a future with them.
Unless they’ve shown you they’re working on changing, don’t forget the bad things that happened when you were together, either. You want to be sure that your relationship will be different this time before giving them your heart once again.
19. Your ex talks about what might have been
Just the fact that you have conversations with your ex says a lot about your relationship. Exes who are done with each other only get in touch if they must. If you’re having deep conversations, there’s still a bond between you.
If your breakup happened because of circumstances, they might be feeling like they had to walk away from someone they love, so it’s no wonder they feel like this.
Talking about how your relationship might have moved forward had you stayed together shows that your ex isn’t trying to forget your relationship. Instead, they wonder what would have happened if you had stayed together because they believe that you had something special.
20. Your ex seems genuinely regretful
Your ex wants you back if they’re not afraid of showing you that they regret losing you.
Apologizing about their behavior and trying to make it up to you, talking about what they appreciate about you, and going out of their way to make it up to you are some of the signs that your ex regrets things.
They might want to repair the relationship between you so that you can stay friends, but it’s much more likely that they want you to take them back.
21. Your ex is working on improving themselves
If your ex is serious about your relationship and wants to fix things, when they decide to pursue you again, you’ll notice that they’ve become a better person than they used to be.
This is a great sign that they mean it and that they’re making an effort to do better this time around. Working on your own mental health, achievements, and relationship skills is of great importance when you want to be in a healthy relationship, and your ex is doing it.
On the other hand, this also might be a sign that they’ve decided to move on, in which case you must get over them for good. You’ll know for sure if you observe their behavior for other signs and decide whether they’re waiting for you to come back or trying to get back in the game.
22. Your ex takes responsibility
Taking responsibility for their part in your past relationship problems and committing to changing is a sign of personal growth, but it also shows that they want you to take them back.
If they did something to hurt you that led to your breakup, they know you won’t take them back unless they fix their mistake. Even if your relationship ended because things simply stopped working, an ex who wants you will know where they went wrong.
Taking responsibility and doing their best not to repeat the same mistakes is a clear sign of interest.
23. Your ex is working on their issues
What does it take to enter into a relationship with someone for the second time? The conviction that things will be better this time around. The only way your ex can make you believe this is if they choose to deal with their issues and show you that they’re interested in trying again.
This is especially important if it was their issues that caused your breakup. If your ex is doing all they can to fix what didn’t work on their part, such as talking to a therapist or a relationship coach, they’re letting you know that they want you back.
Determination to do better is a good sign that they’re willing to change for you.
24. Your ex makes an effort to stay close
When your ex really loves you, even after everything that happened, they’ll do everything they can to be close to you, even if you can’t be in a relationship together. Someone who genuinely loves you will be content with being your friend if that’s the only way to be around you.
The post-breakup period is difficult: both of you are thinking about your mistakes and what you could have done differently. If they still keep in touch, find a way to see you, and show you that they think of you, it’s a sure sign that your ex needs you in their life.
25. Your ex is open about wanting you back
If your ex tells you in no uncertain terms that they still want you, you have a decision to make.
Relationships end because of problems between the people involved or because of external reasons that you have no control over. The reason you broke up plays a great role in whether or not you should take back your ex.
Maybe you broke up but didn’t want to: issues such as the inability to maintain a long distance relationship or family problems can lead to the end of a serious relationship that would otherwise be successful.
In this case, if those reasons don’t exist any longer and you still have feelings for each other, getting back together could make you happy.
Maybe you broke up because you weren’t skilled at relationships, because you didn’t communicate well, or because of other common reasons people break up. If you’ve both grown past where you were at the time and think you can move past it, try again, and you might succeed.
But if you broke up because of something bad one of you has done to each other, think hard before you accept them again. There are plenty of reasons to never take back an ex who dumped you, so don’t rush it, no matter how enticing and convincing your ex appears to be.
Your heart is at stake, so be very careful.
If your dating life always revolves around the same person, it might be time to throw in the towel and admit that your ex is the one.
Having an on-and-off relationship isn’t healthy, but if you’re seeing the signs your ex is waiting for you and making an effort to work on your relationship, you must ask yourself if you should stop fighting it.
On the other hand, if only one of you is still interested, it’s best to give it up, or you’ll only end up getting hurt even more.