Sometimes, when you fall for a person really hard, you’re left unsure if it’s real love you’re feeling or whether it may be just a passing crush.
It can be really hard to differentiate between the two because they both consume you and leave you with butterflies in your stomach—the only difference being that one will likely pass.
But how do you know when it’s love, when it’s just a crush, and how to act on it? I know. It’s a real puzzle, but there are ways to help you decipher this eternal mind boggle and act accordingly.
Here are some key differences that will help you see the distinction between real love and a simple crush!
1. When it’s a crush you’re dealing with, the thing that attracts you to that person will be a certain physical aspect or a trait, such as their eyes, they smile, their outgoing personality, their boobs or an amazing voice.
But when it’s real love, there won’t be just one thing that makes them so appealing. Everything about them will be so alluring and inviting, and you won’t be able to pinpoint just one thing.
That’s the big difference. When you’re in love, you will be attracted to this person as a whole package, and you won’t even notice certain little things because you’ll be able to see the entirety of their amazingness.
In a crush, you’ll find them attractive or intriguing because of a certain thing, but there won’t be that grand feeling of overwhelming attraction and connection as is the case with love.
2. When it’s a crush you’re dealing with, you will feel an overwhelming need to constantly impress them and show yourself in the best light possible.
You’ll only wear your best clothes, you will always have your face perfectly made up, and you will watch your every move, sometimes even stooping to tiny lies in order to make the best impression.
But when it’s real love, you will feel perfectly comfortable being exactly who you are at all times. There won’t be pressure to always look your best and be careful what you say.
You will let them see you for who you are, and there will be no pretending. Either they will love you for you or you’re out. Playing pretend will not interest you with this guy.
Real love makes you feel good about yourself, no matter what you’re wearing and how you’re feeling. It is there to lift you up and cherish you for your amazing self at all times.
With a crush, you will be under constant duress to be dressed to the nines and on your best behavior because the thought of this person seeing you in your cozy, home attire freaks you out.
3. When it’s a crush you’re dealing with, your topics of discussion will be sweet nothings, merely touching the surface, not really delving deep into the important matters, such as feelings, family and your life ambitions.
You won’t be too comfortable talking about the big stuff, about everything that goes on inside your head, and your biggest fears and insecurities. This just won’t be that type of a thing.
But when it’s real love, you will want to discuss the most intriguing, complex things with him. Nothing will be off limits, and you will be able to talk for hours, without ever getting tired of them.
You will call him on the phone, and it will be the most beautiful part of your day that you’ll never wish would end. He will know the real you, and you will gladly share the depths of your mind with him.
This is the main way for you to differentiate between the two. What you talk about with this person tells a lot about the future you may or may not have.
Are you cool with telling him your deepest secrets or do you feel uncomfortable with him knowing too much? If so, this is a crush, and it will pass.
When you meet somebody who will make you feel like it’s real love, you will be over the moon to share your entire self with him.
4. When it’s a crush you’re dealing with, you will constantly feel like you’re in a hurry. The excitement and the rush will constantly consume you, and you will always feel like time is running out.
The moment you’re in will always feel so fleeting, and you will be scared of it passing, which will stem from the insecurity of not knowing if it will happen again.
But when it’s real love, you won’t feel the need to rush anything. You will be at peace, not hurrying anywhere. Love takes time to build, one step at a time, and you’ll know it won’t run off anywhere.
You will allow it to grow while you nurture it with love, care and patience. Love is not a race, and you will be understanding of it. It’s always there, and you will feel secure in it.
If you feel insecure and like it’s going to vanish if you don’t dedicate every second to it, it’s probably not love. Love never makes you feel rushed and unsure.
It builds your self-esteem and makes you comfortable with taking your time. Anything worth having is not supposed to be forced. If it is, it’s probably not real love.
5. When it’s a crush you’re dealing with, you’ll be kind of obsessed with him, but not in a good way. You will forget about your friends and family and have this unhealthy obsession with spending every minute with him.
It will ruin your social life, and you will be in too much of a heightened state to notice what you’re doing. It will consume you, in the worst way possible.
But when it’s real love, it will bring you two really close, but it will also impact your relationships with your nearest and dearest in a positive way.
You will want their approval and their opinion. You will care what they feel about him because they are equally important to you. You will never disregard them and will allow them to give their honest input.
A crush makes you momentarily forget what’s important and disregard those who truly matter to you. You won’t be completely yourself, and you will hate yourself for it later on when the dust settles.
When you’re in love, the support of your friends and family will mean everything. You will care about everyone getting along and lifting each other up.
6. When it’s a crush you’re dealing with, the thought of confrontation will really frighten you. In case you get into a fight, you will always feel like it might signify the end of you, so you will constantly feel insecure and avoid arguing at all costs.
This means you’ll never be able to be one hundred percent yourself, as you will always try to avoid disagreements by agreeing with things you normally wouldn’t agree with.
But when it’s real love, you will understand that sometimes it is normal to have friction between you two and occasional disagreements are going to happen.
It only means you both care enough to fight for each other, and you’re not scared of opening yourself up to the fullest and being vulnerable.
In love, there will always be tiny quarrels and discussions. But you will know that it doesn’t mean it’s the end. All it means is that you have things you need to work out, and that is exactly what you will do.
You will never fear that being open and honest will lead to your relationship’s doom. You will be a united front, capable of tackling the biggest issues that may come your way.
7. When it’s a crush you’re dealing with, you will get easily jealous and possessive. If he takes too long to reply or if he hasn’t called that day, you’ll feel a little crazy and mad at him.
It will really bug you not hearing from him for a few hours, as you will be sure he’s with someone else or doing something he shouldn’t be doing.
But when it’s real love, you will feel a sense of peace and trust. You won’t go crazy if he doesn’t immediately get back to you because you have the utmost trust in him.
You won’t go into panic mode if you haven’t heard from him for half a day because you know he’ll call or text as soon as he gets a chance.
Love brings you peace, serenity and faith in each other. You don’t go attacking him for the smallest things, and you don’t let your mind get the better of you.
When you feel okay and at peace when he’s away and not able to text at all times, it’s real love you’re feeling. A crush will make you go mad for no reason and your jealousy will be at its peak.
Hello everybody! I’m Tara. I have a major in English language and literature, and in my free time i love to sing and write. Kindness is my favorite quality in people. I am all about female empowerment and I’m inspired by all the strong women who have had it rough but managed to stick up for themselves. I love my family and friends, and value them above anyone else. I hope you will enjoy my work, as I hope to inspire all the women out there, with my stories that mostly come from personal experience and of those close to me.