Hey life, I am talking to you: “Slap me as hard as you can. Come on, do it again!”
Don’t think that I won’t survive it. Come on, don’t feel sorry for me. I promise I will stand on my feet no matter what you do to me.
You know why? Because I already got used to all the shit that you are putting in front of me. If you do it again, it won’t be unfamiliar at all. I already got used to all the games you play with me. And the next one won’t surprise me at all.
Come on life, slap me as hard as you can. I am strong enough to endure all the pain you give me.
Come on, show me that you are not fair. Show me how you always bring the worst things to the best people’s lives. Show me that you can do whatever you want with me. And then stop for a second and watch me surviving and getting over all those nasty things you are putting in front of me.
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Come on, do it again! I know you like to see me begging you for mercy. But this time I won’t do that. Even if I fall, I will rise again. Even if you cut me with the sharpest blade, I will show you that my wounds can be healed.
Life, don’t be a coward, slap me as hard as you can. Because when you do that, it will hurt me but you won’t hear my moan.
No matter what you do to me, you will never see me kneeling down. I will never let you see me like that. Not because I am proud but because I am stronger than you.
I learned that you are not fair and I know that this battle will be risky. But I also know it will be one worth taking.
So, come on, slap me, life! What are you waiting for?
I know what you are doing. I knew it from the start. You gave me all the bad cards telling me that it is all about playing it well with the bad ones.
So, tell me, are you proud of me now?
Are you proud of me that I handle every situation that you put in front of me like I don’t have problems at all?
Are you proud of me seeing me smiling while my whole world is falling apart?
Come on, life, be honest at least once.
I am not a good player for all your mind games.
While I was having my first panic attack, I asked you: “What are you doing to me, life?
And you know what you did?
Nothing!
You just sat there watching how I will get out of that shit that was happening to me. You didn’t even give me hope that it will be better. You didn’t even try anything to save me. You are one lousy friend, you know life?
So, don’t sell me that old lies that you will always be there for me. Don’t lie to me that you are fair. I know that you are not. And I have so many examples to justify my opinion.
Admit it that you only wanted to see me down, crying, begging you for some help, crawling in front of you. Admit it!
But you missed one important thing. I am not the woman who will beg and cry. I am much more than that life.
I am a survivor and I will stand up for myself and fight until my last breath. I will use all means necessary to keep standing on my feet. But I will never give up. That was never an option. And it surely won’t be in the future.
So, next time you decide to mess up my plans and make me feel bad, don’t forget that I won’t give up on myself.
I will stand on my feet, proud as I am, with my head up.
Life, you fool, don’t you know that my plan is not to survive you?
It is to live you. And nothing less than that!