To my ‘dear’ husband,
I know that you think you are great. I know that you think by working hard, taking the kids to school, paying bills and sleeping with me from time to time makes you a great husband. Well, I’m sorry to burst your bubble but you are not! You are far from a perfect husband and I am here today to tell you that out loud. I don’t want to pretend that everything is okay just because we have a roof over our heads and because you can afford for us whatever we need. It is true —you can afford nice trips, expensive cars for both of us and some extra money for having a good time when we want it.
But let me ask you something: Is that all that you have to offer? Do you think that you will be happy if we have money? You see, money is there just to make life easier but it didn’t make anyone happy. People with money get sick, people with money die, people with money get disappointed. So, don’t think that providing material things will make you perfect in my eyes because it won’t. It is great that you are a hard worker, it is great that you are a good father but think about me a little bit.
You are probably confused now and you can’t recover from the shock because of the things I am saying, right? Well, let me help you understand this situation better.
You stopped being the perfect husband the day you neglected me and our kids and stayed home watching TV while we went on a Sunday picnic. The kids wanted to spend some time with you so much because you work all day and sometimes even at night and there are times when they don’t even see you for a couple of days. Our son wanted you to play football with him, he wanted to show you how much he had improved at playing that game. He wanted his father to be proud of him. Our daughter wanted to tell you about the ballet classes she enrolled in recently. You know, she wanted to show you the new dress she bought just so you could tell her that she was gorgeous. And me? I just wanted my husband close. I wanted a hug, a kiss and one ‘I love you’ from your mouth. But none of us got anything that we wanted. You would have rather stayed at home watching some really important football match because it happens only once a year. Well, you know what? That day happens only once a year and you won’t be able to bring the past back.
You stopped being the perfect husband when you left me taking care of two small kids. You said that someone had to work and you didn’t even sleep with me while they were babies. You slept in another room because you didn’t want them to wake you up during the night, so you could be fresh for work the next morning. And on the other hand, I was all alone with two small babies crying all night long, trying to find out what was happening with them and why they wouldn’t stop crying.
And in the morning when they would fall asleep, I would make breakfast for you even if I was a total mess. But you needed breakfast and I was the only one who took care of everything. So, all tired and sleepy I would prepare something for you and kiss you, wishing you a good day at work. But you know what? You never kissed me in that way to tell me that I am an amazing woman and that you are so damn lucky to have me in your life. Your working day lasted for 8 hours while mine was 24 hours long, without breaks. And that is something you could never understand.
You stopped being the perfect husband when you left me handling all the problems. I was the one handling your family problems and my family problems while you were too stressed out to take care of anything. You thought that the fact you were working was enough for me to not ask you for any help. But the truth is that I needed some help. I really did. But the one who was supposed to give me some help and support didn’t give it to me. And that is something that I won’t forget.
So, the next time that I tell you that I need you to be with me, to be the shoulder I can rely on, don’t try to buy me with money. I don’t want expensive gifts, just spoil me with understanding. Put yourself in my shoes and you will see that I also work all day but nobody pays me anything. You will see that I am also stressed out because I can’t get back to my old shape while you are surrounded by beautiful women every day. You will see that I have dark thoughts and that I cry sometimes. But crying is not the worst part. The worst part is not having a hand that will wipe your tears away. The worst part is living with someone who can’t understand you. The worst part is that you think I am almighty. But if you look a little bit deeper into my eyes you will see that I am still a frightened little girl, waiting for someone to help her carry this burden.
So, don’t be surprised by all that I had to say. I had to get that off my chest for a long time and I wanted you to know it because I don’t want to sacrifice like this anymore. Not without your help. I was always there to give my unconditional love, support and friendship to you and I expect the same in return. So, if you won’t be there for me like you used to, then I don’t need you. I don’t need a roommate. I need a friend. I don’t need someone who will just come home, eat, sleep and leave. I want someone who will be a part of the whole process. I need a husband!
So, my dear husband, this is your wake-up call. If you can’t handle all that life puts in front of us, then leave. But for God’s sake, don’t be a shitty husband!