In the corner of the room, with your head between your knees, there you are again. You’re hurting, aren’t you? You can’t get one word out of your mouth without bursting into tears and crying until you’re so exhausted that you just fall asleep.
He broke you. You are holding out your hands but all your broken pieces are falling aside because you just can’t seem to hold them all together anymore. You have to heal. But it seems to be such a long process of always failing and trying again.
But once you fall in love with healing yourself, everything will be easier.
Fall in love with healing yourself! Those wounds and scars that are only visible to you shouldn’t be the reasons for your desperation. They should motivate you to get on moving and start your days with words like, “Today, I have healed a little more.”
Fall in love with healing yourself! Once you do, you will start to love yourself even more. You will start to see your healing process and how you’re a survivor who can conquer anything that’s in her path. You will remember where you were and you will get back on your feet to try once more to put those broken pieces of yours back together.
There is no time to pause. I know that sometimes you do feel exhausted, you do feel like you’re going nowhere because whenever the thought of him catches you unaware, you burst into uncontrollable sobs but once more, look back at where you were and how there were no moments of peace in your life. Now there are. Even though you might seem confused by all the emotions that are going through you, it’s all part of the process. Even when you feel like doing nothing for days, it’s still you healing yourself.
Fall in love with yourself and out of love with him. You have loved him for so long, haven’t you? Forgetting about him and moving on is a tough road that doesn’t allow you to go back. Just with the thought of going back and reaching for his hug, your heart screams in agony because it doesn’t want to go through that ever again. That’s why falling in love with yourself is the most important task you can ever have.
Fall in love with the person you will become. Just imagine the person you will become after all this is over. After the suffering is over and after you realize that there is a bright light at the end of every tunnel, you will become everything you have ever wanted to be. So why not start your journey right away, without any hesitation?
One day you will understand. I know that this sounds like something your parents would say but once you start loving everything about your healing process, everything about yourself and everything about what you’ve gone through, realizing that it all had a purpose—you will understand!
You will see why it all had to happen exactly how it did and that there is nothing for you to regret because your past is what turned you into the woman you are today and it’s turning you into the woman you will become in the future.
Here you are. Crying. Wondering if the pain will ever stop. But let me be the first one to tell you that it will. The pain will pass and you will be freed from everything that holds you bound to him. You will be freed from the sorrow, the memories and the grudges that you’re holding against him.
When you focus on your own healing, nothing else will matter. He won’t matter anymore, and nor will your past. When you focus on your healing, you will make your own happiness and your self-love and recovery priorities above everything else.
He is gone but you’re still here fighting every day and you will realize with every passing second that you will love again and that you will put those pieces back together. He’s gone, together with all the abuse and all the harsh words and he left behind a flower—you, ready to bloom.