You Are My Biggest Disappointment (Tu és a minha maior desilusão)

What you did to me was more than terrible. You shattered my dreams and destroyed my entire world. You put me through an unimaginable amount of pain that I was sure I couldn’t handle.

But I did. I didn’t only learn to handle it but I also survived. I survived you and everything you put me through. Somehow, my life kept going without you in it.

Não vou mentir—foi tudo menos fácil.

No início, não via fim para a minha miséria. Pensei que iria sofrer para o resto da minha vida por me teres abandonado. Tinha a certeza de que nunca te conseguiria esquecer.

At first, I hoped you’d come back. I hoped you’d realize you had made a huge mistake by abandoning me and that you’d try to fix things.

But most of all, I hoped that you’d understand how much you loved me and that we would continue where we left off. So, I waited for that to happen.

Estava pronta a perdoar-te por me teres deixado e por toda a dor que me causaste, desde que te pudesse ter de volta.

But time passed by and that didn’t happen. And what did happen was life. Everywhere around me, life went on and I was standing still, in one place, waiting for you.

And then one morning, after a while, I woke up and you weren’t the first thing that crossed my mind. And I didn’t realize that until a few hours had passed.

Outra pessoa consideraria isto irrelevante mas, para mim, era enorme. Passado algum tempo, dei por mim a sorrir de novo sem qualquer razão especial.

And I knew I was on the path to my recovery. For the first time ever, I had hope that there would come a time when I’d get over you.

E esse momento chegou. Eu realmente sobrevivi a ti. E perdoei-te mesmo por tudo o que aconteceu entre nós.

Perdoei-te por me teres deixado num piscar de olhos e perdoei-te por nunca te teres perguntado como é que as tuas acções me faziam sentir. Perdoo-te por tudo, exceto por uma coisa.

I can’t forgive you for disappointing me.

Let’s face it — you were never perfect. And neither was I. But I thought we were perfect for each other. After all, that was what you tried to convince me all along, wasn’t it?

Trabalhou muito para ganhar a minha confiança e para se apresentar como um homem fiável e maduro.

Don’t get me wrong — I always saw your flaws and I accepted them as part of you. But despite all of these flaws, I always thought you were an amazing guy.

Considerava-o um grande homem e, acima de tudo, uma grande pessoa. Tinha a certeza da força do seu carácter. Pensava em ti como um homem de palavra, como alguém que nunca violaria a minha confiança.

I considered you to be a man I could trust with my life and I was sure you’d never hurt me the way you did.

Mas a forma como deixaste-me e tudo o que fizeste depois de te ires embora mostrou-me como eu estava enganada. Mostrou-me que só eras grande aos meus olhos.

You weren’t this great man and great person—Eu só te imaginava assim. Eras apenas o meu maior amor.

Apercebi-me que só esperava e desejava que fosses uma pessoa melhor than you actually were. And then it hit me — I never knew the real you.

I will never know whether you pretended to be someone you obviously weren’t or if I just chose to see you differently. I will never know if you changed after you walked away from me or if this was your true face all along.

Porque começaste a agir como se eu nunca tivesse existido, como se nunca tivéssemos sido uma coisa.

When you walked away without ever giving me an explanation, without saying a word, you proved that our relationship never meant a thing to you — that I didn’t mean anything to you. You did everything you swore you would never do.

E agora, you are the man you swore you’d never be. Now, you are my biggest disappointment.