What you did to me was more than terrible. You shattered my dreams and destroyed my entire world. You put me through an unimaginable amount of pain that I was sure I couldn’t handle.
But I did. I didn’t only learn to handle it but I also survived. I survived you and everything you put me through. Somehow, my life kept going without you in it.
I am not going to lie—it was anything but easy.
In the beginning, I saw no end to my misery. I thought I would suffer for the rest of my life because you walked away from me. I was certain I could never get over you.
At first, I hoped you’d come back. I hoped you’d realize you had made a huge mistake by abandoning me and that you’d try to fix things.
But most of all, I hoped that you’d understand how much you loved me and that we would continue where we left off. So, I waited for that to happen.
I was ready to forgive you for leaving me and for all the pain you caused me, as long as I could have you back.
But time passed by and that didn’t happen. And what did happen was life. Everywhere around me, life went on and I was standing still, in one place, waiting for you.
And then one morning, after a while, I woke up and you weren’t the first thing that crossed my mind. And I didn’t realize that until a few hours had passed.
Someone else would consider this irrelevant but for me, it was huge. After some time, I caught myself smiling again without any particular reason.
And I knew I was on the path to my recovery. For the first time ever, I had hope that there would come a time when I’d get over you.
And that time has come. I really did survive you. And I really did forgive you for everything that had happened between us.
I forgave you for leaving me in the blink of an eye and I forgave you for never wondering how your actions made me feel. I forgive you for everything, except one thing.
I can’t forgive you for disappointing me.
Let’s face it — you were never perfect. And neither was I. But I thought we were perfect for each other. After all, that was what you tried to convince me all along, wasn’t it?
You worked very hard to earn my trust and to present yourself as a reliable and mature man.
Don’t get me wrong — I always saw your flaws and I accepted them as part of you. But despite all of these flaws, I always thought you were an amazing guy.
I thought of you as a great man and, most of all, a great person. I was sure of the strength of your character. I thought of you as a man of his word, as someone who would never violate my trust.
I considered you to be a man I could trust with my life and I was sure you’d never hurt me the way you did.
But the way you left me and everything you did after you walked away showed me how mistaken I was. It showed me that you were only great in my eyes.
You weren’t this great man and great person—I only pictured you that way. You were only my greatest love.
I realized that I only expected and hoped for you to be a better person than you actually were. And then it hit me — I never knew the real you.
I will never know whether you pretended to be someone you obviously weren’t or if I just chose to see you differently. I will never know if you changed after you walked away from me or if this was your true face all along.
Because you started acting like I never existed, as if we were never a thing.
When you walked away without ever giving me an explanation, without saying a word, you proved that our relationship never meant a thing to you — that I didn’t mean anything to you. You did everything you swore you would never do.
And now, you are the man you swore you’d never be. Now, you are my biggest disappointment.