18 razões pelas quais os homens fogem (+ dicas para os manter)

There are a few questions that bother all women around the world, and today, I’ll answer one of them… Porque é que a maioria dos homens foge das relações amorosas? Que razões os levam a dar um passo tão cobarde?

E há várias razões que podem explicar a necessidade de tomar essa decisão. To be clear, I’m not justifying these cowardly actions because there is always another way.

However, it’s always easier to run away from a problem than to confront it, and as it seems, men know this best. It takes a real man to gather the strength to face his fears and problems.

Porque é que os homens fogem: 18 razões comuns

Let’s take a peek into the male mind and find out the possible reasons they flee from love and relações de compromisso.

1. Amor a mais ou a menos

Ou ele ama-te muito e tem medo desse amor, ou he doesn’t love you at all. If a man runs away from you, he either loves you deeply or doesn’t love you at all – there is no middle there.

Se ele ama-te mesmo, it’s possible that he got scared of his true feelings. It’s probably the first time he has fallen so deeply in love, and that unfamiliar emotion scared the hell out of him.

He doesn’t know how to handle it and how to deal with such strong emotions. He can’t talk to you about it because he thinks it would make him seem cowardly and weak.

On the flip side, the possible reason for your man running away may be the absolute lack of love. If he doesn’t love you, there is no reason for him to stay with you anymore. However, I do agree that running away is never the right way to end things with someone.

2. As coisas andam demasiado depressa

Vocês estavam numa relação saudável e decidiram dar um passo em frente e tornar a vossa relação um pouco mais séria? Ou sugeriu-lhe que ele passasse ao nível seguinte?

It’s no wonder then he decided to run away. Maybe you couldn’t see it, but it’s obvious that things were moving too fast, and it freaked out your man.

He probably loves you and couldn’t say NO to you. That’s why he decided to take the easier way out – to pull away from you and your relationship.

3. Medo de se comprometer

This is definitely the most common reason men run away from relationships. They’re afraid of commitment, and once they find themselves in a committed relationship, they decide to head for the hills.

Por muito que amem a sua cara-metade, os seus medo do compromisso é simplesmente maior do que esse amor. They’ll try to cope with it in the beginning, but sooner or later, they’ll cave under its pressure and run away.

4. Questões pessoais

Men don’t like to talk about their personal issues and problems they may be dealing with in their private lives, especially not to someone they’ve just met or engaged in a relationship with.

Sometimes, it’s easier for them to pull away than be honest and upfront with their partners.

If your man has left without any logical reason, you need to be patient because maybe he’s going through a hard time right now. I agree that it’s not fair that he isn’t sharing it with you, but still, even if he hasn’t said it, he needs your understanding right now more than anything.

5. He isn’t ready to leave his single life behind

All that single life fun, all those single women, all that popularity on social media… Some men simply aren’t able to give up on their single lives, and that’s when they choose to run away from their relationships and go back to living the single life.

Se reparar que o seu homem começou a festejar mais do que nunca depois de a ter deixado sem dizer uma palavra, existe uma razão (mais do que óbvia) para ele ter fugido. Ele escolheu a vida de solteiro em vez de si e do seu amor.

6. Acabou de sair de uma relação duradoura

If a man has just ended a long-term, serious relationship, it may also be the reason he has pulled away from you. He entered a new relationship too soon, hoping it’d help him heal his wounds.

Infelizmente e como é óbvio, estava enganado. Todos os especialistas em relações concordam que entrar numa nova relação demasiado cedo depois de uma separação nunca é a forma correcta de lidar com os problemas da separação e com todas as feridas que a sua ex-relação deixou no seu coração e na sua alma.

7. He’s a player

Se um homem afasta-se every now and then and comes back as if nothing happened, it’s possible that you’re dealing with a player. All the running away and coming back is just part of the manipulative methods and mind games he’s trying to play with you.

He thinks that he can come back knocking at your door every time and that you’ll let him in as soon as you hear those sweet words, “Eu amo-te.” And it’s probably because you gave him the right to think that way.

However, you should really think about it the next time you give him another chance. Giving someone a second chance is okay, but giving someone a tenth or hundredth chance is only a sign he’ll never change. Also, it’s a sign of how much (actually, little) he cares about you.

8. Problemas de autoestima

Quando um homem sofre de baixa autoestima, nunca se pode prever qual será a sua próxima ação. Na maioria dos casos, ele não consegue controlar nem prever os seus próximos passos.

Os seus problemas de autoestima têm simplesmente controlo total sobre ele. He completely loses faith in himself and starts believing that he isn’t deserving of true love and happiness. That’s why he may pull away from his SO and shut himself completely down emotionally.

It’s a well-known fact that self-esteem affects the testosterone levels in a man and vice versa. So, all you need to do is boost your man’s confidence, and he’ll come back to you in no time.

9. Feridas de relações passadas

If a man was badly wounded by his ex-partner, he might be left with some issues and consequences from that past relationship. And if he doesn’t deal with them the right way, he’ll never be able to function in a new relationship.

Unfortunately, it’s difficult to recognize a man with such an emotional burden because men don’t show their emotional sides and vulnerabilities easily.

10. Falta de intimidade física

If you’ve decided to não dar intimidade nas fases iniciais de uma relação, I’m not judging you, and I really respect your decision. And your partner should, too, but it’s possible that he got tired of waiting and decided to run away.

He probably isn’t used to withholding intimacy because he is used to other kinds of relationships. That’s why he decided to leave you and find another single woman who’ll please his physical needs.

If this is the case, you shouldn’t give up on your decision. Even if it means you could bring the man you love back, you shouldn’t go against your decision because not respecting your wishes only means he doesn’t respect or love you.

11. Questões de confiança

If your man could never trust you, if you could never earn his trust no matter what you did, it’s a sign he’s dealing with deep trust issues. At first, he was able to handle those trust issues, but it’s obvious that he couldn’t do it anymore because he decided to run away.

You shouldn’t blame yourself. You didn’t provoke his trust issues. On the contrary, you did everything in your power to show him that you’re trustworthy.

12. Encontrar demasiados sinais de alerta

If a man notices too many red flags that you two aren’t quite compatible, especially nas fases iniciais de uma relaçãoSe ele não se despedir, pode ser a razão pela qual decide ir-se embora sem se despedir.

He doesn’t want to stay and waste his time on a relationship that clearly doesn’t have a future. No entanto, ele devia ser suficientemente homem para dizer isso diretamente ao seu parceiro e não fugir como um cobarde.

13. Suprimir os seus verdadeiros sentimentos

Quando um homem se apaixona pela primeira vez por uma mulher, esse sentimento novo e forte pode assustá-lo. Por essa razão, decide reprimir essas emoções bem no fundo e fugir.

Ele acha que seria mais fácil ignorar e fugir desses sentimentos do que ficar e enfrentá-los (como um homem de verdade).

When a man feels in love, that’s when he is the most vulnerable. Because of his ego, he’ll try to hide that vulnerability by hiding and suppressing his feelings.

14. Aborreceu-se

A faísca ainda está lá? Ou, por outro lado, a sua relação está presa na rotina do tédio?

Se a faísca desapareceu, é provável que o seu homem se tenha aborrecido. Ele acha que já não há nada pelo qual valha a pena lutar, nem mesmo os seus sentimentos. Ele vê que vocês os dois se distanciaram um do outro e sabe que ficar nessa relação vai partir o coração dele ou o vosso (ou de ambos).

If that’s true, if there is no spark anymore, my relationship advice is to find a way to reacender a chama. Regain your man’s interest, and this time, try to keep him interested.

15. He’s had enough of your ghosting

Do you think that ghosting him will solve most of your relationship issues? I get you, and believe me, it’s the way most women think. However, it’s truly and deeply wrong.

Dar-lhe o tratamento do silêncio ou se o deixar de lado, o tiro pode sair pela culatra, porque isso só pode fazer com que o seu homem se vá embora. He might see the ghosting as a lack of love from your side, and it’ll make him pull away.

If you’re having some issues, try to solve them by communicating them. You can’t just ghost your partner and hope he’ll get the point, that he’ll be able to read your mind and understand what you’re really trying to tell him.

16. A tua possessividade e ciúme

Sente sempre a necessidade de verificar como está o seu parceiro? Envia-lhe uma dúzia de mensagens de texto e faz-lhe demasiadas chamadas telefónicas diariamente porque quer saber onde ele está a cada momento que passa?

Desculpe, mas tenho de lhe dizer isto: a sua possessividade e o seu apego são as razões pelas quais o seu homem decidiu fugir. Your jealousy has probably broken each and every single one of his boundaries, and he’s just decided that it’s time to put an end to it.

A verdade é que a maioria dos homens considera namoradas pegajosas e possessivas o pior tipo, e todos eles tentam evitar esse tipo de raparigas.

If you have a bit of a clingy or possessive nature, you need to deal with it because you can try to hide it in the beginning, but sooner or later, it’ll come to the surface and make your man fly the coop.

17. Os seus entes queridos estão contra o teu amor

Quando um homem decide fugir da sua parceira, uma das razões pode ser o mau feedback que recebeu dos seus entes queridos sobre a vossa relação.

We all care deeply about our loved ones’ opinions, and even though we don’t allow them to control our lives, we appreciate their advice, as we should.

No entanto, se esta é realmente a razão pela qual o seu homem o deixou, devia deixá-lo ir because he didn’t even try to prove them wrong – he simply decided that it was easier to run away.

18. He thinks he doesn’t deserve you or vice versa

When a man believes he is unworthy of his partner or vice versa, he won’t be able to stay in that relationship for long. That feeling will start eating him up inside, and he won’t be able to withstand that pressure.

He’ll run away and probably go on a quest to find the right woman for him.

Even though it doesn’t seem like it to you right now, trust me, he made the right decision. It’s true that he doesn’t deserve you if he could leave you in such an awful way without saying goodbye.

7 dicas para manter o seu homem amado

It’s true that you can’t keep someone who wants to go, but there are some things you can do to keep your man interested so he never even thinks about running away.

1. Proporcionar espaço suficiente para ambos

Se quiser manter um homem interessado, you need to give him enough space and time. The moment he starts feeling his independence is jeopardized, he’ll start thinking about running away.

Men who don’t have enough personal space in their relationships feel smothered – like their relationship is suffocating them.

If they don’t get the space they demand, they will eventually leave and never come back. It might be an issue for a man to express himself, but if ele pede-lhe um tempo a sósÉ preciso respeitá-lo e deixá-lo ter o tempo que precisar.

2. Comunicar a toda a hora

É preciso estar e manter-se em contacto, aconteça o que acontecer. Através de uma comunicação regular, conseguirão manter uma ligação forte e criar uma confiança entre vós que mais ninguém conseguirá quebrar.

No momento em que deixa de comunicar, é o momento em que deve começar a preocupar-se com o futuro da sua relação.

3. Confiança e compreensão

While you have his love and trust, you’ll never lose him. A man will never run or pull away from a woman he deeply loves and trusts.

Além disso, é preciso ser compreensivo e nunca deixar de lhe mostrar isso. Haverá alturas em que o seu homem se afastará de repente e sem razão aparente, mas mesmo assim precisa de mostrar a sua compreensão nesses momentos.

It’s in those moments that a man realizes how lucky he is to have you, his soulmate, by his side.

4. Preste atenção às necessidades dele sem negligenciar as suas

You can’t and should never only prioritize your man’s needs. That won’t only harm your mental and emotional well-being, but it’ll also make your man think that you don’t respeitar-se o suficiente.

Têm de encontrar uma forma de satisfazer as vossas necessidades, o que fará com que ambos sejam felizes na vossa relação.

5. Manter as expectativas realistas

Os homens fogem no momento em que vêem que as suas parceiras criaram expectativas demasiado grandes ou irrealistas. It’s not that they don’t want to fulfill those expectations. They’re simply afraid that they won’t be able to and that it would cost them your respect and trust.

That’s why you need to manter a sua barra de expectativas num nível realista. The more you get to know your man, the more you’ll be able to create and mold your expectations the right way.

6. Don’t ever forget to date him

It shouldn’t be just a relationship. You should never stop considering it dating, even when you decide to take it to the next level.

É necessário continuar a namoriscar com o seu homem and seducing him like it’s the very first time you’ve seen him and wished he was your man. That’s the only way to keep him interested and in love with you forever.

7. Manter viva a paixão

If you’re withholding intimacy, I’m sure you have your reasons, and I fully approve of it. However, you can’t completely avoid intimacy and hope it won’t negatively impact your relationship.

A intimidade física é enorme e uma das partes mais importantes de uma relação saudável. Sem ela, um casal nunca é capaz de construir e manter uma ligação forte e profunda.

Publicação relacionada: Como manter um homem interessado: 15 maneiras eficazes de o fazer

7 dicas para ter o seu homem de volta

Se tem um fugitivo, ou seja, se o seu homem se retirou ou fugiu, eis alguns conselhos úteis que poderão ajudá-la a recuperá-lo definitivamente.

1. A mudança começa por trabalhar em si próprio

You can’t expect any change if you don’t start working on it. In other words, you can’t expect to get your man back if you aren’t willing to work on yourself and lightly change yourself, at least the parts that really bothered your partner.

I agree that you should never change for a man, but it’s always a good idea to improve some parts of yourself because I’m sure it’ll be reciprocated in the same way.

2. Despertar as borboletas na barriga dele

Lembra-se de como namoriscou com ele quando estava a tentar conquistá-lo? Bem, tens de fazer tudo de novo e, desta vez, tem de ser ainda melhor. Tens de namoriscar com ele como uma profissional.

That will remind your man of all the reasons he fell in love with you the first time and all the beautiful things you’ve been through together. He’ll immediately understand that nothing is worth losing you for, and he’ll come back to you crawling on his knees.

3. Deixar que ele assuma a liderança desta vez

Não há nada de errado em dar o primeiro passo quando se trata de reconciliação. No entanto, se quer mesmo recuperar o seu homemSe o seu filho não for o primeiro, tem de o deixar assumir a liderança desta vez.

He needs to believe that he is in control and that you have absolutely nothing against that. It’ll show him that you’ve really changed and, most importantly, that you truly trust him and want to keep him in your life.

4. Sair da sua zona de conforto com mais frequência

The truth is, no man likes a boring girlfriend. If you were never up for adventure, if you didn’t want to travel with him, and if you never wanted to show an interest in his hobbies, then it’s truly no wonder he left you.

A vossa relação estava a aborrecê-lo de morte e ele sabia que precisava de sair dela de uma forma ou de outra. That’s why you need to show him how fun and interesting a woman you are, and he’ll come back to you immediately.

5. Despertar o seu herói interior

Okay, you’re a strong, independent woman who doesn’t need anyone’s help, and I fully support that. However, sometimes you need to be a damsel in distress to get your man to notice you.

Don’t be shy about asking for his help or think that it makes you look weak. Os homens gostam de ajudar as suas mulheres porque isso faz com que os seus níveis de testosterona aumentem, o que resulta num aumento da autoestima, aumentando assim a sua autoestima.

That way, you’re telling him that you really need him in your life – it’s like you’re giving him empowerment and encouragement to believe in himself more.

6. Seja paciente e lide com os seus ciúmes

Apesar de o quereres desesperadamente de volta, tens de ter em conta o facto de que vocês acabaram. You shouldn’t be jealous of other women around him because he’s single now and has every right to start dating someone else.

Actually, he might even test whether you’ve changed by flirting with other girls in front of you. If you make a jealous scene, you’ll fail his test, and he’ll never come back to you again.

7. Provar que merece uma segunda oportunidade

Nunca se deve implorar e humilhar-se para que alguém lhe dê uma segunda oportunidade.

However, you should prove to them that you really deserve it and are ready to do things right this time, especially if you’re aware that your mistakes led to this breakup.

FAQS

Porque é que os homens se afastam quando as coisas começam a ficar sérias?

O facto infeliz e conhecido é que a maioria dos homens tem medo do compromisso. As relações sérias simplesmente assustam-nos e, quando sentem que as coisas estão a ficar sérias, vêem a fuga como a sua única opção.

They’re also afraid of their own feelings, especially when it’s the first time they fall sincerely in love with a woman. Being hurt by a loved one is the worst thing that could happen to any of us, and that’s precisely one of the reasons men pull away.

They think it’s the best way to protect themselves and their hearts, and I do get that in a way. However, I don’t and can’t understand when they pull away from a woman they deeply love because of the fear of saying goodbye to their single lives forever.

Os homens fogem quando se apaixonam?

Sim, na maioria dos casos. Assustam-se com os seus próprios sentimentos e decidem fugir ou afastar-se enquanto podem.

Fugir é o seu mecanismo de defesa preferido para não se magoarem. Na fase inicial de uma relação, tudo ainda é sol e rosas para eles, mas quando começam a apaixonar-se, ficam assustados e vão-se embora.

They can’t handle that emotional pressure and see running away as their salvation. Once they cool off, take some time to rethink it all, and gather the strength to deal with their emotions, fortunately, they do come back.

Como é que o fazes voltar a perseguir-te quando ele se afasta?

Antes de mais, deve esquecer os jogos mentais que faz com que ele te persiga. Sooner or later, he’ll see through your true intentions, and your games will only make him distance himself further.

Precisa de lembrar ao seu homem todas as razões pelas quais ele a perseguiu da primeira vez. Precisa de o lembrar de todas as coisas pelas quais ele se apaixonou.

Além disso, tem de o fazer compreender o que está em jogo. You need to point out what kind of woman he’s about to lose IF he doesn’t do anything about it. And if he doesn’t get it in time, you should let him go because he’ll have a lifetime to regret it.

No final do dia

Most men run away at some point in a relationship, and there aren’t too many things you can do to stop that. If he loves you, he’ll come back to you eventually, and if he doesn’t, it’s better for the both of you if he never comes back.

Understanding men and their reasons for fleeing isn’t an easy job because, in order to do that, you would need to step into their minds, and we all know how hard that is. I hope I’ve at least opened the door for you with this article.

You have every right to fight for a man you love. However, remember, if he has decided to run away, to flee forever, you shouldn’t waste your precious time clipping his wings.

Let him fly and hope he’ll fly far away from you, like “you never have to see him again” away. Em vez de tentar cortar-lhe as asas, encoraje-o a abri-las e a voar para muito, muito longe de si.