There are a few questions that bother all women around the world, and today, I’ll answer one of them… Why do most men run away from romantic relationships? What reasons do they have to take such a cowardly step?
And there are quite a few reasons that might explain their need to make such a decision. To be clear, I’m not justifying these cowardly actions because there is always another way.
However, it’s always easier to run away from a problem than to confront it, and as it seems, men know this best. It takes a real man to gather the strength to face his fears and problems.
Why Men Run Away: 18 Common Reasons
Let’s take a peek into the male mind and find out the possible reasons they flee from love and committed relationships.
1. Too much OR too little love
Either he loves you very much and is scared of that love, or he doesn’t love you at all. If a man runs away from you, he either loves you deeply or doesn’t love you at all – there is no middle there.
If he really loves you, it’s possible that he got scared of his true feelings. It’s probably the first time he has fallen so deeply in love, and that unfamiliar emotion scared the hell out of him.
He doesn’t know how to handle it and how to deal with such strong emotions. He can’t talk to you about it because he thinks it would make him seem cowardly and weak.
On the flip side, the possible reason for your man running away may be the absolute lack of love. If he doesn’t love you, there is no reason for him to stay with you anymore. However, I do agree that running away is never the right way to end things with someone.
2. Things going too fast
Were you two in a healthy relationship, and you decided to take it a step further and make your relationship a bit more serious? Or, have you suggested that he should take it to the next level?
It’s no wonder then he decided to run away. Maybe you couldn’t see it, but it’s obvious that things were moving too fast, and it freaked out your man.
He probably loves you and couldn’t say NO to you. That’s why he decided to take the easier way out – to pull away from you and your relationship.
3. Fear of commitment
This is definitely the most common reason men run away from relationships. They’re afraid of commitment, and once they find themselves in a committed relationship, they decide to head for the hills.
No matter how much they love their significant other, their fear of commitment is simply bigger than that love. They’ll try to cope with it in the beginning, but sooner or later, they’ll cave under its pressure and run away.
4. Personal issues
Men don’t like to talk about their personal issues and problems they may be dealing with in their private lives, especially not to someone they’ve just met or engaged in a relationship with.
Sometimes, it’s easier for them to pull away than be honest and upfront with their partners.
If your man has left without any logical reason, you need to be patient because maybe he’s going through a hard time right now. I agree that it’s not fair that he isn’t sharing it with you, but still, even if he hasn’t said it, he needs your understanding right now more than anything.
5. He isn’t ready to leave his single life behind
All that single life fun, all those single women, all that popularity on social media… Some men simply aren’t able to give up on their single lives, and that’s when they choose to run away from their relationships and go back to living the single life.
If you notice that your man started partying more than ever before after he left you without a word, there is your (more than obvious) reason he ran away. He chose the single life over you and your love.
6. He just got out of a long-term relationship
If a man has just ended a long-term, serious relationship, it may also be the reason he has pulled away from you. He entered a new relationship too soon, hoping it’d help him heal his wounds.
Unfortunately and obviously, he was wrong. All relationship experts agree that jumping into a new relationship too soon after a breakup is never the right way to deal with breakup issues and all the wounds your ex-relationship has left on your heart and soul.
7. He’s a player
If a man pulls away every now and then and comes back as if nothing happened, it’s possible that you’re dealing with a player. All the running away and coming back is just part of the manipulative methods and mind games he’s trying to play with you.
He thinks that he can come back knocking at your door every time and that you’ll let him in as soon as you hear those sweet words, “I love you.” And it’s probably because you gave him the right to think that way.
However, you should really think about it the next time you give him another chance. Giving someone a second chance is okay, but giving someone a tenth or hundredth chance is only a sign he’ll never change. Also, it’s a sign of how much (actually, little) he cares about you.
8. Self-esteem issues
When a man suffers from low self-esteem, you can never predict what his next action will be. In most cases, neither can he control nor predict his next moves.
His self-worth issues simply have full control over him. He completely loses faith in himself and starts believing that he isn’t deserving of true love and happiness. That’s why he may pull away from his SO and shut himself completely down emotionally.
It’s a well-known fact that self-esteem affects the testosterone levels in a man and vice versa. So, all you need to do is boost your man’s confidence, and he’ll come back to you in no time.
9. Past relationship wounds
If a man was badly wounded by his ex-partner, he might be left with some issues and consequences from that past relationship. And if he doesn’t deal with them the right way, he’ll never be able to function in a new relationship.
Unfortunately, it’s difficult to recognize a man with such an emotional burden because men don’t show their emotional sides and vulnerabilities easily.
10. Lack of physical intimacy
If you’ve decided to withhold intimacy in the early stages of a relationship, I’m not judging you, and I really respect your decision. And your partner should, too, but it’s possible that he got tired of waiting and decided to run away.
He probably isn’t used to withholding intimacy because he is used to other kinds of relationships. That’s why he decided to leave you and find another single woman who’ll please his physical needs.
If this is the case, you shouldn’t give up on your decision. Even if it means you could bring the man you love back, you shouldn’t go against your decision because not respecting your wishes only means he doesn’t respect or love you.
11. Trust issues
If your man could never trust you, if you could never earn his trust no matter what you did, it’s a sign he’s dealing with deep trust issues. At first, he was able to handle those trust issues, but it’s obvious that he couldn’t do it anymore because he decided to run away.
You shouldn’t blame yourself. You didn’t provoke his trust issues. On the contrary, you did everything in your power to show him that you’re trustworthy.
12. Encountering too many red flags
If a man notices too many red flags that you two aren’t quite compatible, especially in the early stages of a relationship, it could be the reason he decides to leave without saying goodbye.
He doesn’t want to stay and waste his time on a relationship that clearly doesn’t have a future. However, he should be man enough to tell his partner that directly, not run away like a coward.
13. Suppressing his true feelings
When a man falls in love for the first time with a woman, that new and strong feeling may scare him. For that reason, he decides to repress those emotions deep down and run away.
He thinks it would be easier to ignore and run away from those feelings than stay and confront them (like a real man).
When a man feels in love, that’s when he is the most vulnerable. Because of his ego, he’ll try to hide that vulnerability by hiding and suppressing his feelings.
14. He got bored
Is the spark still there? Or, is your relationship, on the other hand, stuck in the rut of boredom?
If the spark is gone, your man probably got bored. He thinks that there is nothing left worth fighting for anymore, not even his feelings. He sees that you two have grown distant from each other, and he knows that staying in that relationship will break his or your (or both of your) hearts.
If that’s true, if there is no spark anymore, my relationship advice is to find a way to rekindle that spark again. Regain your man’s interest, and this time, try to keep him interested.
15. He’s had enough of your ghosting
Do you think that ghosting him will solve most of your relationship issues? I get you, and believe me, it’s the way most women think. However, it’s truly and deeply wrong.
Giving him the silent treatment or ghosting him might backfire on you because it may only make your man leave. He might see the ghosting as a lack of love from your side, and it’ll make him pull away.
If you’re having some issues, try to solve them by communicating them. You can’t just ghost your partner and hope he’ll get the point, that he’ll be able to read your mind and understand what you’re really trying to tell him.
16. Your possessiveness and jealousy
Do you always feel the need to check up on your partner? Do you send him a dozen text messages and give him too many phone calls on a daily basis because you want to know where he is at every waking moment?
Sorry, but I need to break it to you: your possessiveness and clinginess are the reasons your man decided to run away. Your jealousy has probably broken each and every single one of his boundaries, and he’s just decided that it’s time to put an end to it.
The truth is, most men consider clingy and possessive girlfriends the worst type, and all of them try to avoid those kinds of girls.
If you have a bit of a clingy or possessive nature, you need to deal with it because you can try to hide it in the beginning, but sooner or later, it’ll come to the surface and make your man fly the coop.
17. His loved ones are against your love
When a man decides to run away from his partner, one of the reasons may be the bad feedback he got from his loved ones about your relationship.
We all care deeply about our loved ones’ opinions, and even though we don’t allow them to control our lives, we appreciate their advice, as we should.
However, if this is really the reason your man left, you should let him go because he didn’t even try to prove them wrong – he simply decided that it was easier to run away.
18. He thinks he doesn’t deserve you or vice versa
When a man believes he is unworthy of his partner or vice versa, he won’t be able to stay in that relationship for long. That feeling will start eating him up inside, and he won’t be able to withstand that pressure.
He’ll run away and probably go on a quest to find the right woman for him.
Even though it doesn’t seem like it to you right now, trust me, he made the right decision. It’s true that he doesn’t deserve you if he could leave you in such an awful way without saying goodbye.
7 Tips To Keep Your Beloved Man
It’s true that you can’t keep someone who wants to go, but there are some things you can do to keep your man interested so he never even thinks about running away.
1. Provide enough space for you both
If you want to keep a man interested, you need to give him enough space and time. The moment he starts feeling his independence is jeopardized, he’ll start thinking about running away.
Men who don’t have enough personal space in their relationships feel smothered – like their relationship is suffocating them.
If they don’t get the space they demand, they will eventually leave and never come back. It might be an issue for a man to express himself, but if he asks you for some alone time, you need to respect it and let him have as much time as he needs.
2. Communicate all the time
You need to be and stay in touch no matter what. Through regular communication, you will be able to maintain a strong connection and build trust between you that no one else will be able to break.
The moment you stop communicating is the moment you should start worrying about the future of your relationship.
3. Trust & understanding
While you have his love and trust, you’ll never lose him. A man will never run or pull away from a woman he deeply loves and trusts.
Also, you need to be understanding and never stop showing him that. There will be times when your man will pull away all of a sudden and for no apparent reason, but you still need to show your understanding in those moments.
It’s in those moments that a man realizes how lucky he is to have you, his soulmate, by his side.
4. Pay attention to his needs without neglecting your own
You can’t and should never only prioritize your man’s needs. That won’t only harm your mental and emotional well-being, but it’ll also make your man think that you don’t respect yourself enough.
You need to find a way to fulfill your needs, which will make you both happy in your relationship.
5. Keep your expectations realistic
Men run away the moment they see that their partners have created too big or unrealistic expectations. It’s not that they don’t want to fulfill those expectations. They’re simply afraid that they won’t be able to and that it would cost them your respect and trust.
That’s why you need to keep your expectation bar at a realistic level. The more you get to know your man, the more you’ll be able to create and mold your expectations the right way.
6. Don’t ever forget to date him
It shouldn’t be just a relationship. You should never stop considering it dating, even when you decide to take it to the next level.
You need to keep flirting with your man and seducing him like it’s the very first time you’ve seen him and wished he was your man. That’s the only way to keep him interested and in love with you forever.
7. Keep the passion alive
If you’re withholding intimacy, I’m sure you have your reasons, and I fully approve of it. However, you can’t completely avoid intimacy and hope it won’t negatively impact your relationship.
Physical intimacy is huge and one of the most important parts of a healthy relationship. Without it, a couple is never able to build and maintain a strong and deep connection.
Related post: How To Keep A Man Interested: 15 Effective Ways To Do So
7 Tips To Get Your Man Back
If you have a fugitive, that is, if your man has pulled or run away, here are some helpful tips that might help you get him back permanently.
1. Change begins by working on yourself
You can’t expect any change if you don’t start working on it. In other words, you can’t expect to get your man back if you aren’t willing to work on yourself and lightly change yourself, at least the parts that really bothered your partner.
I agree that you should never change for a man, but it’s always a good idea to improve some parts of yourself because I’m sure it’ll be reciprocated in the same way.
2. Awaken the butterflies in his belly
Do you remember how you flirted with him when you were trying to win him over? Well, you need to do it all over again, and this time, it needs to be even better. You need to flirt with him like a pro.
That will remind your man of all the reasons he fell in love with you the first time and all the beautiful things you’ve been through together. He’ll immediately understand that nothing is worth losing you for, and he’ll come back to you crawling on his knees.
3. Let him take the lead this time
There is nothing wrong with you taking the first step when it comes to reconciliation. However, if you really want to get your man back, you need to allow him to take the lead this time.
He needs to believe that he is in control and that you have absolutely nothing against that. It’ll show him that you’ve really changed and, most importantly, that you truly trust him and want to keep him in your life.
4. Leave your comfort zone a bit more often
The truth is, no man likes a boring girlfriend. If you were never up for adventure, if you didn’t want to travel with him, and if you never wanted to show an interest in his hobbies, then it’s truly no wonder he left you.
Your relationship was boring him to death, and he knew he needed to get out of it one way or another. That’s why you need to show him how fun and interesting a woman you are, and he’ll come back to you immediately.
5. Awaken his inner hero
Okay, you’re a strong, independent woman who doesn’t need anyone’s help, and I fully support that. However, sometimes you need to be a damsel in distress to get your man to notice you.
Don’t be shy about asking for his help or think that it makes you look weak. Men like to help their women because it causes their testosterone levels to rise, which then results in increased self-worth, thus boosting their self-esteem.
That way, you’re telling him that you really need him in your life – it’s like you’re giving him empowerment and encouragement to believe in himself more.
6. Be patient and deal with your jealousy
Even though you desperately want him back, you need to keep in mind the fact that you two have broken up. You shouldn’t be jealous of other women around him because he’s single now and has every right to start dating someone else.
Actually, he might even test whether you’ve changed by flirting with other girls in front of you. If you make a jealous scene, you’ll fail his test, and he’ll never come back to you again.
7. Prove you deserve a second chance
You should never beg and humiliate yourself to make someone give you a second chance.
However, you should prove to them that you really deserve it and are ready to do things right this time, especially if you’re aware that your mistakes led to this breakup.
FAQS
Why do men pull away when things start to get serious?
The unfortunate and well-known fact is that most men are afraid of commitment. Serious relationships simply scare the hell out of them, and once they sense that things are getting serious, they see escape as their only option.
They’re also afraid of their own feelings, especially when it’s the first time they fall sincerely in love with a woman. Being hurt by a loved one is the worst thing that could happen to any of us, and that’s precisely one of the reasons men pull away.
They think it’s the best way to protect themselves and their hearts, and I do get that in a way. However, I don’t and can’t understand when they pull away from a woman they deeply love because of the fear of saying goodbye to their single lives forever.
Do guys run away when they fall in love?
Yes, they do, in most cases. They get scared of their own feelings and decide to run or pull away while they still can.
Running away is their favorite defense mechanism against getting hurt. In the early stages of a relationship, everything is still sunshine and roses for them, but once they start falling in love, they get scared and leave.
They can’t handle that emotional pressure and see running away as their salvation. Once they cool off, take some time to rethink it all, and gather the strength to deal with their emotions, fortunately, they do come back.
How do you make him chase you again when he pulls away?
First of all, you should forget about playing mind games that would make him chase you. Sooner or later, he’ll see through your true intentions, and your games will only make him distance himself further.
You need to remind your man of all the reasons he chased you the first time. You need to remind him of all the things he fell in love with.
Also, you need to make him understand what is at stake. You need to point out what kind of woman he’s about to lose IF he doesn’t do anything about it. And if he doesn’t get it in time, you should let him go because he’ll have a lifetime to regret it.
At The End Of The Day
Most men run away at some point in a relationship, and there aren’t too many things you can do to stop that. If he loves you, he’ll come back to you eventually, and if he doesn’t, it’s better for the both of you if he never comes back.
Understanding men and their reasons for fleeing isn’t an easy job because, in order to do that, you would need to step into their minds, and we all know how hard that is. I hope I’ve at least opened the door for you with this article.
You have every right to fight for a man you love. However, remember, if he has decided to run away, to flee forever, you shouldn’t waste your precious time clipping his wings.
Let him fly and hope he’ll fly far away from you, like “you never have to see him again” away. Instead of trying to clip his wings, encourage him to spread them and fly very, very far from you.
