18 motivi per cui gli uomini scappano (+ consigli per trattenerli)

There are a few questions that bother all women around the world, and today, I’ll answer one of them… Perché la maggior parte degli uomini fugge dalle relazioni sentimentali? Quali ragioni li spingono a compiere un passo così vile?

E ci sono diverse ragioni che potrebbero spiegare la loro necessità di prendere una tale decisione. To be clear, I’m not justifying these cowardly actions because there is always another way.

However, it’s always easier to run away from a problem than to confront it, and as it seems, men know this best. It takes a real man to gather the strength to face his fears and problems.

Perché gli uomini scappano: 18 motivi comuni

Let’s take a peek into the male mind and find out the possible reasons they flee from love and relazioni impegnate.

1. Troppo o troppo poco amore

O vi ama molto e ha paura di questo amore, oppure he doesn’t love you at all. If a man runs away from you, he either loves you deeply or doesn’t love you at all – there is no middle there.

Se ti ama davvero, it’s possible that he got scared of his true feelings. It’s probably the first time he has fallen so deeply in love, and that unfamiliar emotion scared the hell out of him.

He doesn’t know how to handle it and how to deal with such strong emotions. He can’t talk to you about it because he thinks it would make him seem cowardly and weak.

On the flip side, the possible reason for your man running away may be the absolute lack of love. If he doesn’t love you, there is no reason for him to stay with you anymore. However, I do agree that running away is never the right way to end things with someone.

2. Le cose vanno troppo veloci

Avevate una relazione sana e avete deciso di fare un passo avanti e rendere il vostro rapporto un po' più serio? Oppure, avete suggerito a lui di passare al livello successivo?

It’s no wonder then he decided to run away. Maybe you couldn’t see it, but it’s obvious that things were moving too fast, and it freaked out your man.

He probably loves you and couldn’t say NO to you. That’s why he decided to take the easier way out – to pull away from you and your relationship.

3. Paura di impegnarsi

This is definitely the most common reason men run away from relationships. They’re afraid of commitment, and once they find themselves in a committed relationship, they decide to head for the hills.

Non importa quanto amino l'altra persona, la loro paura di impegnarsi è semplicemente più grande di quell'amore. They’ll try to cope with it in the beginning, but sooner or later, they’ll cave under its pressure and run away.

4. Problemi personali

Men don’t like to talk about their personal issues and problems they may be dealing with in their private lives, especially not to someone they’ve just met or engaged in a relationship with.

Sometimes, it’s easier for them to pull away than be honest and upfront with their partners.

If your man has left without any logical reason, you need to be patient because maybe he’s going through a hard time right now. I agree that it’s not fair that he isn’t sharing it with you, but still, even if he hasn’t said it, he needs your understanding right now more than anything.

5. He isn’t ready to leave his single life behind

All that single life fun, all those single women, all that popularity on social media… Some men simply aren’t able to give up on their single lives, and that’s when they choose to run away from their relationships and go back to living the single life.

Se notate che il vostro uomo ha iniziato a fare festa più che mai dopo avervi lasciate senza una parola, c'è un motivo (più che ovvio) per cui è scappato. Ha preferito la vita da single a voi e al vostro amore.

6. È appena uscito da una relazione a lungo termine

If a man has just ended a long-term, serious relationship, it may also be the reason he has pulled away from you. He entered a new relationship too soon, hoping it’d help him heal his wounds.

Purtroppo e ovviamente, si sbagliava. Tutti gli esperti di relazioni concordano sul fatto che buttarsi in una nuova relazione troppo presto dopo una rottura non è mai il modo giusto per affrontare i problemi della rottura e tutte le ferite che la vostra ex relazione ha lasciato nel vostro cuore e nella vostra anima.

7. He’s a player

Se un l'uomo si allontana every now and then and comes back as if nothing happened, it’s possible that you’re dealing with a player. All the running away and coming back is just part of the manipulative methods and mind games he’s trying to play with you.

He thinks that he can come back knocking at your door every time and that you’ll let him in as soon as you hear those sweet words, “Ti amo.” And it’s probably because you gave him the right to think that way.

However, you should really think about it the next time you give him another chance. Giving someone a second chance is okay, but giving someone a tenth or hundredth chance is only a sign he’ll never change. Also, it’s a sign of how much (actually, little) he cares about you.

8. Problemi di autostima

Quando un uomo soffre di bassa autostima, non si può mai prevedere quale sarà la sua prossima azione. Nella maggior parte dei casi, non può controllare né prevedere le sue prossime mosse.

I suoi problemi di autostima hanno semplicemente il pieno controllo su di lui. He completely loses faith in himself and starts believing that he isn’t deserving of true love and happiness. That’s why he may pull away from his SO and shut himself completely down emotionally.

It’s a well-known fact that self-esteem affects the testosterone levels in a man and vice versa. So, all you need to do is boost your man’s confidence, and he’ll come back to you in no time.

9. Ferite da relazioni passate

If a man was badly wounded by his ex-partner, he might be left with some issues and consequences from that past relationship. And if he doesn’t deal with them the right way, he’ll never be able to function in a new relationship.

Unfortunately, it’s difficult to recognize a man with such an emotional burden because men don’t show their emotional sides and vulnerabilities easily.

10. Mancanza di intimità fisica

If you’ve decided to rifiutare l'intimità nelle prime fasi di una relazione, I’m not judging you, and I really respect your decision. And your partner should, too, but it’s possible that he got tired of waiting and decided to run away.

He probably isn’t used to withholding intimacy because he is used to other kinds of relationships. That’s why he decided to leave you and find another single woman who’ll please his physical needs.

If this is the case, you shouldn’t give up on your decision. Even if it means you could bring the man you love back, you shouldn’t go against your decision because not respecting your wishes only means he doesn’t respect or love you.

11. Problemi di fiducia

If your man could never trust you, if you could never earn his trust no matter what you did, it’s a sign he’s dealing with deep trust issues. At first, he was able to handle those trust issues, but it’s obvious that he couldn’t do it anymore because he decided to run away.

You shouldn’t blame yourself. You didn’t provoke his trust issues. On the contrary, you did everything in your power to show him that you’re trustworthy.

12. Troppe bandiere rosse

If a man notices too many red flags that you two aren’t quite compatible, especially nelle prime fasi di una relazionepotrebbe essere il motivo per cui decide di andarsene senza salutare.

He doesn’t want to stay and waste his time on a relationship that clearly doesn’t have a future. Tuttavia, dovrebbe essere abbastanza uomo da dirlo direttamente alla sua compagna, non scappare come un codardo.

13. Sopprimere i suoi veri sentimenti

Quando un uomo si innamora per la prima volta di una donna, questo sentimento nuovo e forte può spaventarlo. Per questo motivo, decide di reprimere queste emozioni nel profondo e di scappare.

Pensa che sarebbe più facile ignorare e fuggire da questi sentimenti piuttosto che restare e affrontarli (come un vero uomo).

When a man feels in love, that’s when he is the most vulnerable. Because of his ego, he’ll try to hide that vulnerability by hiding and suppressing his feelings.

14. Si è annoiato

C'è ancora la scintilla? O, al contrario, la vostra relazione è bloccata nel solco della noia?

Se la scintilla non c'è più, probabilmente il vostro uomo si è annoiato. Pensa che non ci sia più nulla per cui valga la pena lottare, nemmeno i suoi sentimenti. Vede che vi siete allontanati l'uno dall'altro e sa che rimanere in quella relazione spezzerà il suo o il vostro (o entrambi) cuore.

If that’s true, if there is no spark anymore, my relationship advice is to find a way to riaccendere la scintilla. Regain your man’s interest, and this time, try to keep him interested.

15. He’s had enough of your ghosting

Do you think that ghosting him will solve most of your relationship issues? I get you, and believe me, it’s the way most women think. However, it’s truly and deeply wrong.

Trattamento silenzioso per lui o di non rispondere a lui potrebbe ritorcersi contro di voi, perché potrebbe solo far sì che il vostro uomo se ne vada. He might see the ghosting as a lack of love from your side, and it’ll make him pull away.

If you’re having some issues, try to solve them by communicating them. You can’t just ghost your partner and hope he’ll get the point, that he’ll be able to read your mind and understand what you’re really trying to tell him.

16. Possessività e gelosia

Sentite sempre il bisogno di controllare il vostro partner? Gli inviate una dozzina di messaggi di testo e gli fate troppe telefonate al giorno perché volete sapere dove si trova in ogni momento?

Mi dispiace, ma devo dirtelo: la tua possessività e il tuo attaccamento sono i motivi per cui il tuo uomo ha deciso di scappare. Your jealousy has probably broken each and every single one of his boundaries, and he’s just decided that it’s time to put an end to it.

La verità è che la maggior parte degli uomini considera fidanzate appiccicose e possessive il tipo peggiore, e tutti cercano di evitare quel tipo di ragazze.

If you have a bit of a clingy or possessive nature, you need to deal with it because you can try to hide it in the beginning, but sooner or later, it’ll come to the surface and make your man fly the coop.

17. I suoi cari sono contrari al vostro amore

Quando un uomo decide di scappare dalla propria compagna, una delle ragioni può essere il cattivo feedback ricevuto dai suoi cari sulla vostra relazione.

We all care deeply about our loved ones’ opinions, and even though we don’t allow them to control our lives, we appreciate their advice, as we should.

Tuttavia, se questo è davvero il motivo per cui il vostro uomo se n'è andato, dovresti lasciarlo andare because he didn’t even try to prove them wrong – he simply decided that it was easier to run away.

18. He thinks he doesn’t deserve you or vice versa

When a man believes he is unworthy of his partner or vice versa, he won’t be able to stay in that relationship for long. That feeling will start eating him up inside, and he won’t be able to withstand that pressure.

He’ll run away and probably go on a quest to find the right woman for him.

Even though it doesn’t seem like it to you right now, trust me, he made the right decision. It’s true that he doesn’t deserve you if he could leave you in such an awful way without saying goodbye.

7 consigli per mantenere il vostro amato uomo

It’s true that you can’t keep someone who wants to go, but there are some things you can do to keep your man interested so he never even thinks about running away.

1. Offrire spazio a sufficienza per entrambi

Se si vuole Mantenere l'interesse di un uomo, you need to give him enough space and time. The moment he starts feeling his independence is jeopardized, he’ll start thinking about running away.

Men who don’t have enough personal space in their relationships feel smothered – like their relationship is suffocating them.

If they don’t get the space they demand, they will eventually leave and never come back. It might be an issue for a man to express himself, but if vi chiede di stare un po' da soliDovete rispettarlo e lasciargli tutto il tempo di cui ha bisogno.

2. Comunicare sempre

Dovete essere e rimanere in contatto, a prescindere da tutto. Attraverso una comunicazione regolare, sarete in grado di mantenere un forte legame e di costruire una fiducia tra di voi che nessun altro sarà in grado di infrangere.

Il momento in cui smettete di comunicare è il momento in cui dovreste iniziare a preoccuparvi del futuro della vostra relazione.

3. Fiducia e comprensione

While you have his love and trust, you’ll never lose him. A man will never run or pull away from a woman he deeply loves and trusts.

Inoltre, dovete essere comprensivi e non smettere mai di dimostrarglielo. Ci saranno momenti in cui il vostro uomo si allontanerà all'improvviso e senza un motivo apparente, ma dovete comunque mostrare la vostra comprensione in quei momenti.

It’s in those moments that a man realizes how lucky he is to have you, his soulmate, by his side.

4. Prestare attenzione alle sue esigenze senza trascurare le proprie.

You can’t and should never only prioritize your man’s needs. That won’t only harm your mental and emotional well-being, but it’ll also make your man think that you don’t rispettare abbastanza se stessi.

Dovete trovare un modo per soddisfare i vostri bisogni, che vi renderà entrambi felici nella vostra relazione.

5. Mantenere le aspettative realistiche

Gli uomini scappano nel momento in cui vedono che le loro partner hanno creato aspettative troppo grandi o irrealistiche. It’s not that they don’t want to fulfill those expectations. They’re simply afraid that they won’t be able to and that it would cost them your respect and trust.

That’s why you need to mantenere la barra delle aspettative a un livello realistico. The more you get to know your man, the more you’ll be able to create and mold your expectations the right way.

6. Don’t ever forget to date him

It shouldn’t be just a relationship. You should never stop considering it dating, even when you decide to take it to the next level.

È necessario continuare a flirtare con il proprio uomo and seducing him like it’s the very first time you’ve seen him and wished he was your man. That’s the only way to keep him interested and in love with you forever.

7. Mantenere viva la passione

If you’re withholding intimacy, I’m sure you have your reasons, and I fully approve of it. However, you can’t completely avoid intimacy and hope it won’t negatively impact your relationship.

L'intimità fisica è enorme e una delle parti più importanti di una relazione sana. Senza di essa, una coppia non è mai in grado di costruire e mantenere un legame forte e profondo.

Post correlato: Come mantenere l'interesse di un uomo: 15 modi efficaci per farlo

7 consigli per riconquistare il vostro uomo

Se avete un fuggitivo, cioè se il vostro uomo si è tirato indietro o è scappato, ecco alcuni consigli utili che potrebbero aiutarvi a riaverlo definitivamente.

1. Il cambiamento inizia lavorando su se stessi

You can’t expect any change if you don’t start working on it. In other words, you can’t expect to get your man back if you aren’t willing to work on yourself and lightly change yourself, at least the parts that really bothered your partner.

I agree that you should never change for a man, but it’s always a good idea to improve some parts of yourself because I’m sure it’ll be reciprocated in the same way.

2. Risvegliare le farfalle nella sua pancia

Vi ricordate come avete flirtato con lui quando stavate cercando di conquistarlo? Ebbene, dovete rifare tutto da capo e questa volta deve essere ancora meglio. Dovete flirtare con lui come una professionista.

That will remind your man of all the reasons he fell in love with you the first time and all the beautiful things you’ve been through together. He’ll immediately understand that nothing is worth losing you for, and he’ll come back to you crawling on his knees.

3. Lasciare che questa volta sia lui a prendere l'iniziativa

Non c'è nulla di male se siete voi a fare il primo passo quando si tratta di riconciliazione. Tuttavia, se volete davvero riprenditi il tuo uomoQuesta volta dovete permettergli di prendere l'iniziativa.

He needs to believe that he is in control and that you have absolutely nothing against that. It’ll show him that you’ve really changed and, most importantly, that you truly trust him and want to keep him in your life.

4. Uscire un po' più spesso dalla propria zona di comfort

The truth is, no man likes a boring girlfriend. If you were never up for adventure, if you didn’t want to travel with him, and if you never wanted to show an interest in his hobbies, then it’s truly no wonder he left you.

La vostra relazione lo stava annoiando a morte e sapeva di doverne uscire in un modo o nell'altro. That’s why you need to show him how fun and interesting a woman you are, and he’ll come back to you immediately.

5. Risvegliare l'eroe interiore

Okay, you’re a strong, independent woman who doesn’t need anyone’s help, and I fully support that. However, sometimes you need to be a damsel in distress to get your man to notice you.

Don’t be shy about asking for his help or think that it makes you look weak. Gli uomini amano aiutare le loro donne perché ciò provoca un aumento dei loro livelli di testosterone, che si traduce in un aumento dell'autostima.

That way, you’re telling him that you really need him in your life – it’s like you’re giving him empowerment and encouragement to believe in himself more.

6. Siate pazienti e gestite la vostra gelosia

Anche se lo rivuole disperatamente, deve tenere presente che vi siete lasciati. You shouldn’t be jealous of other women around him because he’s single now and has every right to start dating someone else.

Actually, he might even test whether you’ve changed by flirting with other girls in front of you. If you make a jealous scene, you’ll fail his test, and he’ll never come back to you again.

7. Dimostrare di meritare una seconda possibilità

Non bisogna mai implorare e umiliarsi per farsi dare una seconda possibilità.

However, you should prove to them that you really deserve it and are ready to do things right this time, especially if you’re aware that your mistakes led to this breakup.

FAQS

Perché gli uomini si allontanano quando le cose iniziano a farsi serie?

Il fatto sfortunato e ben noto è che la maggior parte degli uomini ha paura di impegnarsi. Le relazioni serie li spaventano a morte e, quando intuiscono che le cose si stanno facendo serie, vedono la fuga come unica opzione.

They’re also afraid of their own feelings, especially when it’s the first time they fall sincerely in love with a woman. Being hurt by a loved one is the worst thing that could happen to any of us, and that’s precisely one of the reasons men pull away.

They think it’s the best way to protect themselves and their hearts, and I do get that in a way. However, I don’t and can’t understand when they pull away from a woman they deeply love because of the fear of saying goodbye to their single lives forever.

I ragazzi scappano quando si innamorano?

Sì, nella maggior parte dei casi. Hanno paura dei propri sentimenti e decidono di scappare o di allontanarsi finché possono.

La fuga è il loro meccanismo di difesa preferito contro le ferite. Nelle prime fasi di una relazione, tutto è ancora rose e fiori per loro, ma quando iniziano a innamorarsi, si spaventano e se ne vanno.

They can’t handle that emotional pressure and see running away as their salvation. Once they cool off, take some time to rethink it all, and gather the strength to deal with their emotions, fortunately, they do come back.

Come si fa a farsi inseguire di nuovo quando si allontana?

Prima di tutto, dovreste dimenticarvi di fare giochetti mentali che far sì che ti insegua. Sooner or later, he’ll see through your true intentions, and your games will only make him distance himself further.

Dovete ricordare al vostro uomo tutti i motivi per cui vi ha inseguito la prima volta. Dovete ricordargli tutte le cose di cui si è innamorato.

Inoltre, dovete fargli capire qual è la posta in gioco. You need to point out what kind of woman he’s about to lose IF he doesn’t do anything about it. And if he doesn’t get it in time, you should let him go because he’ll have a lifetime to regret it.

Alla fine della giornata

Most men run away at some point in a relationship, and there aren’t too many things you can do to stop that. If he loves you, he’ll come back to you eventually, and if he doesn’t, it’s better for the both of you if he never comes back.

Understanding men and their reasons for fleeing isn’t an easy job because, in order to do that, you would need to step into their minds, and we all know how hard that is. I hope I’ve at least opened the door for you with this article.

You have every right to fight for a man you love. However, remember, if he has decided to run away, to flee forever, you shouldn’t waste your precious time clipping his wings.

Let him fly and hope he’ll fly far away from you, like “you never have to see him again” away. Invece di cercare di tarpargli le ali, incoraggiatelo a spiegarle e a volare molto, molto lontano da voi.