Have you ever been betrayed by someone you considered to be your good friend?
By someone you thought you could trust with your life and by someone you thought would remain “your person” and partner in crime for as long you both breathe?
If you have, you know that this pain is even worse than the one you experience when breaking up a romantic relationship.
It doesn’t matter if your former friend forgot all about you when they found someone new, if they revealed your secrets, if they didn’t put the same amount of effort in your friendship you did or if it turned out that they were just using you all along—losing a friend and realizing someone was never your friend in the first place is shattering.
Besides feeling like you’re all alone in this world, you can’t believe that you were so foolish to let this person manipulate you and make you think they were someone they obviously never were.
You feel humiliated, heartbroken, and devastated, and you’re ready to do whatever it takes to prevent this from happening again, even if that means never having a friend in your life.
After your friend backstabs you, you lose trust in everyone around you, and you can’t help but wonder if you’ll ever again have the bravery to let someone new in.
It changes you for good, and it leaves unerasable scars on your heart and soul.
Well, let me tell you that you’re not the only one who has experienced something similar because nowadays, finding a true friend is like winning a lottery.
It’s like everyone expects instant friendships which end before they actually began and as if everyone forgot the meaning of loyalty, trust, devotion, and unconditional love.
Yes, finding a true friend is difficult but it is also essential for your mental health, quality of life, and happiness in general.
We’re social beings; we need that one special person to hang out with, to share our secrets with, and to go through life with.
Yes, finding a true friend is difficult, but it doesn’t mean that you should lose hope because it is definitely not impossible.
You might not believe me now but I assure you that there exist people who have all the qualities a best friend should have and people who can be better friends to you than anyone from your past has ever been.
After all, it is always better to have one valuable friend you can be sure about than a dozen acquaintances who will leave you hanging the moment the first opportunity arises.
So, after reading all of this, I’m sure you can’t help but wonder what are the qualities of a best friend you should pay special attention to?
Who are the people who deserve to be called your friends and who deserve a place in your life?
Well, all you have to do is read this list and find out.
Also, if there is a person you can relate all or most of these traits to, never let them go, and consider yourself lucky because you have a friend for life.
10 Qualities Of A Best Friend :
One of the first essential qualities of a best friend you should look for is loyalty.
I’m not talking about the fact that this person has to necessarily support you even when you’re doing something wrong and applaud you even when you’re destroying yourself.
No, when I say that your closest friends need to be loyal, I mean that you should search for people who will stick with you through hard times because having someone who is there for you, who has your back, and who will never think of abandoning you when you need them the most is the most valuable thing in life.
So, instead of searching for a person who will drink and go clubbing with you, look for someone who will go through your breakups, your family emergencies, and all other misfortunes with you.
For a person who will, in a way, be your life partner, someone who will always have your back, someone who will stick by your side through thick and thin and through sickness and health, and someone who will never allow you to handle your issues by yourself.
This is someone you can rely on and count on, no matter what happens, despite the distance between you two and despite the time you’ve spent apart.
Someone who would never sit still while others talk trash about you, and someone who won’t leave your side the moment things get rough.
You see, finding friends who are willing to party with you and who are there when you’re laughing and when everything is going smoothly is a piece of cake.
You don’t need anyone special for this kind of relationship.
However, having a good friend who holds your hand through all the hard times and who doesn’t let you go through life’s difficulties on your own is like winning a lottery. And that is what true loyalty is all about.
Let’s face it—most people feel that they’re in good company when they’re surrounded by people pleasers and others who nod their heads at everything they have to say.
All of us love hearing compliments and enjoy spending time with someone who agrees with us, who always thinks we’re absolutely right, and who boosts our ego.
However, despite popular opinion, this is not what a good friend is all about, and these are not the qualities in a best friend you should look for.
Yes, your closest friends should praise you when you deserve it, especially in front of others, but one of the most essential qualities of best friend is actually honesty.
You want your BFF to be someone who tells you the truth, even when you don’t want to hear it, no matter how harsh and painful it might be and even when you’re trying to lie and deceive yourself.
You want this person to be brutally honest, open your eyes when you’re blinded, to tell you that you’re wrong even when you’re convinced that you’re not, to call you out on your actions, to prevent you from making wrong choices, and to point out to your mistakes, even when you don’t see them.
You want them to tell you some silly things such as you look awful in that new outfit you bought or that your new haircut isn’t as great as you thought.
To be brave enough to tell you some more serious things such as your boyfriend or girlfriend is good for nothing, that you’re making lousy judgments or that it’s about time to step out of your comfort zone and make some changes in your life.
At first, you might even hate this harsh friend because nobody likes to hear about their mistakes.
Nevertheless, this is actually the person who loves you the most—a friend who cares about your well-being and someone you can trust your life with.
Of course, it is your job to be wise enough to differentiate between the ones who are actually trying to insult you with their remarks and the ones who are gently trying to inspire you to become the best possible version of yourself.
You don’t want your friends to pat you on your head and give you a thumbs up even when you’re making some harmful moves, just because they don’t want to risk your good relationship, but you shouldn’t allow anyone to put you down either.
You know how teenagers change their entire behavior just to fit into a certain group?
You remember how back in highschool you pretended to love a certain type of music you actually couldn’t stand or how you acted completely different to your true self just to be liked by the cheerleaders and mean girls and boys from your class?
Well, we’re not in highschool anymore, and there are no cheerleaders and mean girls anymore.
It’s time to look for some other qualities in friends besides the fact that they belong to the popular squad.
Now you know that these kind of relationships and friendships were toxic and not something you should settle for in your adulthood.
Instead, one of the qualities of a good friend is the ability to completely accept you for who you are.
Real friends will love you with all of your flaws and imperfections and will never expect you to turn in someone else just to please them.
They will respect your individuality and differences and will never want to force you into becoming their copy.
Instead, they will love all parts of you, including the ones they might not like.
It doesn’t matter if you and your BFF don’t have the same taste in music or clothes, and it is completely irrelevant if you don’t share similar hobbies or interests—that is not what true friendship is all about.
A good friend will never try to change the essence of who you are, and they certainly won’t make you feel rejected just because you don’t fit their imaginary standards of perfection.
One of the most important qualities of a good friendship (be it a long-distance friendship or not) is without a doubt mutual respect.
No matter how much you think someone cares for you, if they don’t respect you as a person, I assure you that they don’t love you as much as you think they do.
A quality friend will never put you down in front of others and will always be careful not to hurt your feelings.
They will never insult you or treat you in any way you might find disrespectful or humiliating.
They will appreciate you as an individual. They will respect your personality, your wishes, and the people you are surrounded with.
Even if they disagree with your choices and decisions, they will accept them because they consider you a mature person with good judgment-making skills.
Also, your genuine friends will respect your time, personal space and effort, despite how close you are.
They won’t act like they’re more important than you or expect you to be grateful they’re hanging out with you.
These are the people who will never make you feel like their second choice or safety net.
People who won’t expect you to put them first while they treat you like their last resort.
A true friendship cannot exist without mutual trust. After all, this is the person you should be able to share your every day with, and someone who knows all of your deepest secrets, so there is no point with calling your best friend someone you can’t trust.
After all, the last thing you want is having a bad friend who uses every opportunity to share your fears, doubts, and humiliations with everyone who crosses their path.
Someone who doesn’t know when to keep their mouth shut and who doesn’t value the fact you chose them as your confident.
This is the first person you call whenever you’re in trouble, and the first person who finds out about every silly, little thing you do.
Someone who is non-judgmental even when they think you’re wrong, and someone who would rather die than violate your trust.
A quality friend knows literally everything about you.
They know the things you hide from the rest of the world (including yourself sometimes) and never love you any less because of them.
Remember, a genuine friend would never reveal your secrets, even if their life depends on it.
They wouldn’t think about going around and gossiping about you even with their friends or family.
Most importantly, a close friend won’t talk about the things you told them even if your friendship comes to an end.
A true best friend would never use your trash against you, even if it happens that you split ways.
The things most people pay attention when it comes to qualities of a good friend is the way this person treats them.
Even though this is without doubt an important quality, you should look for a friend who is essentially a good human being, no matter what.
Your real friends should be kind, understanding, and non-judgmental to everyone who crosses their path—not just to ones they love.
Your bestie should be helpful, respectful, loving, and caring to their other friends, to their family members, and to every other human being they run into.
After all, could you really have a good friendship with someone who is rude to the waiter, who looks for every opportunity to fool someone, who humiliates others, and who is genuinely not a good person, despite the way they treat you?
With someone who doesn’t have any empathy, who is completely selfish, and who doesn’t care about other people’s well-being?
What can you expect from this kind of person?
What would they do to you if you argue—would they start treating you the same way they treat everyone else in their surroundings?
Remember—if someone is a toxic person, they can’t be a better friend.
Let’s face it—at some point, all of us get boring to others.
It doesn’t matter if you keep on talking about that ex who dumped you ages ago, if you continuously bother everyone else with the same problems you could fix in a blink of an eye or if you go on and on about one and the same issue that has already been talked about million of times.
At some point, people around you have gotten tired of everything you have to say, no matter how much they love you.
However, your genuine friend will also be a good listener.
They will never be too busy to hear your problems out, even if those problems might appear silly to them, and they will never ignore you when you need them.
They will be your shoulder to cry on, even after hundreds of “I told you sos”, and they will always do their best to make you feel better.
This is the person you can call in the middle of the night, just to share something exciting or overwhelming that happened to you; the person who will leave everything and everyone hanging just to listen to you; and the person who will always have the patience to go through your issues, as if they were their own.Forgiving
One’s character can be best seen through their ability to forgive.
Yes, most of us have fragile egos, and there are some deal breakers we simply can’t ignore, but if your true best friend really loves you, they will forgive you for almost everything.
Don’t get me wrong—this is not a green light to keep on hurting this person just because you know they will always have your back.
Just because they call you their best friend, it doesn’t mean that you should take advantage of their love and kindness and treat them however the hell you want.
Nevertheless, there doesn’t exist a friendship which hasn’t had a rough phase, and it doesn’t mean that you and your BFF are bad friends just because you occasionally have an argument.
However, if you two have managed to become stronger from all of this, it is a clear sign that you’re real friends.
If you made a mistake and your friend gathered the strength to forgive you and considered that your entire friendship is not worthy of one argument, this is something you should appreciate.Protective
Another one of the qualities of a good friend is definitely their protective nature.
All of us have the urge to look after the ones we love, so your close friends should also take care of you and vice versa.
This doesn’t mean that you’re an immature brat who needs someone leading you through life or that you can’t make it on your own.
It doesn’t mean that you’re looking for your best friend to be your parent.
It is just nice knowing that you have someone who worries about your needs and someone who would move mountains to make you feel better, if necessary.
Good friends are like guardian angels.
They call to check up on you, take care of you when you’re sick, pay attention to the way you feel, worry when you’re not answering your phone, do their best to save you from your bad judgments, and chase away the people who want to hurt you.
So, if you’re lucky enough to have a friend like this, don’t consider them boring or nagging. Instead, appreciate everything they’re doing for you because people like this are hard to find.
Fun to be around
Now that we’ve dealt with all the important character traits of a best friend, let’s not forget that your good friend should also be someone you always have a blast with.
It is someone who makes your days a little bit brighter and someone who makes all of your moments together memorable and worth-living.
This is the person who is up for everything you suggest, someone who is always ready for adventure, someone who supports your crazy ideas, and the person you share your wildest and the dearest memories with— a spontaneous and relaxed person you’re always comfortable next to.
After all, the last thing you want is having a pessimistic friend who will ruin all of your get togethers with unnecessary tension.
You don’t want to spend your time with a person who picks fights, who is never satisfied, and who spreads their negativity everywhere they show up.
A real friend should be someone who can make you laugh, even in your darkest hours, and someone who has the capacity to help you get up from your lowest point.
So, if your best friend has all the qualities mentioned above and is also fun to be around, congratulations because you’ve hit the jackpot!