We all get to a point in life where it just feels like a knock-back after a knock-back.
No matter what you do, the world keeps throwing you for a loop and you’re left fending for yourself.
I’ve been there too and it feels like the darkest hole in the world.
When your trust is taken advantage of, your kindness is taken for granted and your selfless love is met with nothing but malicious thoughts with fake intentions.
Getting betrayed by somebody you’ve placed your complete trust in is one of the cruelest acts by a human being.
And no matter how many times it happens and by whom, every time it stings a little bit more.
And then you’re left there wondering… How am I to ever trust anyone again? And why should I?
And honestly, there is no universal answer to that.
I guess what most people would say is that nobody is really worth you giving up on being happy.
Nobody is worth you losing yourself for. And isn’t that reason enough?
If you let that cruel individual get the better of you by shutting down and never letting anyone in, they win!
And you should never give them the satisfaction of seeing that.
You should decide that your kindness and ability to trust trump their need to make you feel weak and insufficient.
You should let them see how strong you are and that no matter how many times they bring you down, you’ll rise up each and every time.
That’s what strong women all have in common. They fall—but they get right back up again.
They falter—but they manage to find their way again. They get betrayed—even though they still never give up on people.
And if you’re one of those strong women who doesn’t let anyone’s malice make them doubt everyone around them, give yourself a round of applause.
It’s no small thing putting your trust in somebody after getting burned. It’s a big step for one badass woman.
And here are some valuable tips to get you through life while you’re learning to trust again.
1. Forgive but never forget
This is something you should always keep in mind. Forgiveness is important.
It lets you take so much weight off your shoulders and makes life easier.
It puts your mind at ease and is extremely therapeutic for your soul.
But one thing you should never do is forget. Forgive whoever hurt you but never forget.
You were not to blame for their betrayal and the blood is entirely on their hands. Keep that in mind every time you think of giving them another chance.
Don’t let the same person make a fool of you twice. Once you forgive them, be proud of yourself but keep a safe distance.
Just because you’ve found the strength to forgive does not mean you need to let them close to you ever again.
2. Never let anyone take your vulnerability away from you
No matter how it may seem now, your vulnerability is one of your strongest assets.
If you weren’t so brave as to put yourself out there each and every time your mind tells you not to, how would you ever meet anyone new?
How would you go through life with nobody by your side?
If you never let yourself get close to someone, how would you ever learn who you can trust and who doesn’t deserve your closeness?
So don’t ever let them take that away from you. Keep loving with all your heart.
Keep giving people chances, because someday the right one will come along!
And when he does, you’ll see how right you were in never letting the bad guy win.
3. Trust that you are perfectly capable of making good choices
Never let a few bad decisions make you doubt your ability to make good choices. We all make bad decisions!
We all have horrible lapses in judgment. But that doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with you.
It only makes you human. And humans make mistakes. That’s how we learn!
So be easy on yourself. Through every bad experience, you learn something new.
You learn to recognize people who mean no good and keep your distance from them.
But it also makes you see the kindness in others. It makes you see how capable you really are to bring good people into your life.
Always focus on the good and leave the bad in the past, unless you use it as a lesson for what never to do again. But remember.
You’re only human. You’re prone to making mistakes, just like each and every one of us.
But as long as you use them as examples of what never to repeat, you win in the end.
4. Give yourself time to process and grieve
Don’t put pressure on yourself to get over something in a certain amount of time.
You deserve all the time in the world to get to that healthy, forgiving place naturally.
Don’t forget that you are grieving after somebody who meant a great deal to you and it takes time truly getting over that.
You’ll go through many stages and don’t rush any of them.
Before completely healing, you will go through denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. Don’t fight it—embrace it.
Once you do, you will do yourself a huge favor.
You’re in no rush and you deserve to have no resentment or bitterness in your mind ever again.
5. Don’t think of yourself as a victim, rather see yourself as a survivor
Seeing yourself as a victim will do you no good. It will slow down your healing process and paint a false picture of yourself in your brain.
Yes, you’ve been burned. But you’re still here, right? You’ve survived!
And never forget that. You are a survivor. You’ve survived betrayal, lies, manipulation and God knows what else.
And it takes guts being able to keep going with your head held high!
So stop seeing yourself as something you’re not and start believing you are one badass b**** who can survive anything and anyone.
Bring it on, life!