At some point in life, you’ve been on someone’s hook. He dragged you along because he probably had someone else in his plan and you were there just as an option—in case his original plans didn’t go through.
You were never the first thing on his mind. Yeah I know it’s easy to talk about it when it’s all over.
But when it’s actually happening to you, you don’t see it. Maybe you do see it, but you don’t want to admit it.
And why would you? No one wants to be anyone’s second choice. But time will catch up with you and show you how unstable the ground you’re standing on is.
You’ll see that you made a huge mistake. If you don’t already, check out the signs you’re just an option that will confirm what you’ve been doubting for some time now.
1. He doesn’t make plans
You never know where you’re standing. He never makes plans or commits to you, because he knows something better may come up any second.
By better, I mean the one that is more important than you are. A spontaneous relationship is fun, but being spontaneous and unreliable all the time can be a bit suspicious.
2. He bails on you
This is closely connected to the first one. Even if he makes any plans with you, he will bail on you at the last minute. And he won’t feel any guilt. Your feelings are not important to him.
The only thing that matters is that he gets what he wants. Sometimes when he doesn’t, he settles for you. Do you want to be someone’s second choice?
3. He’s hot ’n’ cold
His opinions change all the time. One day he is totally in love with you and he wants to give you the world, but the next day, he totally ignores you—I mean watching trees grow in a park would be his choice over you.
This is why this topic is so tricky. You get all these mixed signals and you don’t know how to act anymore. Is he or isn’t he?
4. He didn’t define your relationship
The two of you are not labeled. He refuses to give a name to whatever it is that is going on between the two of you.
You know why? Because your name would be—The Other One.
And you probably wouldn’t be comfortable with that. Even when you bring up this issue, he does anything in his power to simply ignore and avoid it.
5. He only wants one thing from you
When he’s ‘in the mood’, he’ll run to you. Do you really want to be his booty call?
Remember that you are on the other side of the relationship—you are the one who is left alone after he’s done with you. And he moves on with his life until the next time he gets a hard-on.
6. You are the only one who’s trying
He doesn’t put any effort in your relationship. He’s not even trying.
If you succeed in talking him into a date and he doesn’t cancel at the last minute, you are the one who has to take care of everything—how you’re going to get there and where are you going to go. He leaves everything up to you.
7. He’s constantly making excuses
Every time you ask him why he didn’t make it on your date, why he called it off, or why he was late, he always has an excuse.
It’s remarkable. So many coincidences happen to just the same guy.
If you care about yourself, let him know you’re sick and tired of hearing those empty words. Congratulate him on his imagination and dump his sorry ass.