There’s no point beating around the bush here. If you’re reading this article, it’s clear that you’re dealing with what you would call a crazy wife. And I can totally get that.
I’ve had my fair share of crazy exes with insane mood swings and nagging behavior, who went from being a good guy to a narcissist in disguise in a really short amount of time.
Now, saying that you have a crazy wife carries a heavy load, so I’m guessing you’re currently struggling in your relationship and her crazy person behavior isn’t helping much… Am I getting warm?
Well, I can tell you one thing: you’re in the right place.
See, I’m a self-proclaimed expert for crazy exes and if I’ve been able to get through an extremely rough patch with my formerly crazy husband through a bunch of really effective steps, I guarantee you’ll find this helpful too!
It’s not embarrassing to admit that you’re struggling. You should never be ashamed of dealing with stuff you feel is weighing you down to the point of no return.
We’ve all had some challenging experiences with crazy exes (and current partners) but if this person is worth the fight, then you owe it to them and to your marital union to stick it out and not give up when the shit hits the fan.
You’re the only one who knows what exactly you’re dealing with, so it’s not my intention to judge.
I only hope that you’ll give it a fair chance before calling it quits because, after all, this crazy wife used to be so special to you.
The worst that you can do is give up before even giving her a chance to become the best wife you know she can be!
Give her the benefit of the doubt and hold her hand instead of calling her names. There’s a reason you took her hand in marriage.
Before getting into a detailed evaluation of your situation and explaining how to handle your crazy wife’s low self-esteem that led to her crazy outbursts, let me just say that couples counseling has been a saving grace for my partner and me.
Along with many other necessary steps, a couples counselor managed to point out the actual cause of the craziness and helped us dig deeper and try harder.
There will be challenging times in your marriage, but hey, there’s a first time for everything, right?
Don’t back off your marriage before actually making an effort. She’ll be worth the challenge. A little understanding and positive feedback goes a long way!
Why Do I Have A Crazy Wife?
It’s true that you don’t really know a person until you start living with them (been there, done that!). And it’s true.
You do get a good sense of who someone is as a person, but not until marrying them do you fully get to know all aspects of their persona.
Now, you’re clearly wondering Why am I suddenly dealing with a crazy wife? or Why has my girlfriend gone full psycho on me? and I’m here to offer you answers.
See, women go through a fair amount of hormonal changes throughout their entire life (PMS, pregnancy hormones, menopause… you name it!) so we don’t have it easy at all from the get-go.
And when all those pesky hormones start disturbing the inner peace, it can get very ugly, very soon.
Your crazy wife might simply be going through the changes or she’s struggling with something and trying to keep it all inside for the sake of your marriage.
But one little thing is enough to make her simply explode at the worst possible time and make you think her mental health is truly deteriorating.
It’s not. She’s not suffering from any mental illnesses. She’s going through a LOT and she’s just trying to keep herself from falling apart (not knowing it’s all about to unravel in the ugliest ways…)
She’s trying to keep herself from shattering into pieces, and her nagging and psych-related issues are merely a reflection of how she’s feeling inside.
If you find yourself a target of her emotional outbursts, know that it most probably isn’t about you.
It’s about much deeper issues that have been plaguing her mind for quite some time and she hasn’t found a healthy way to deal with them, so she has turned into the crazy wife you never expected to deal with. And yet, here you are.
You might think to yourself: crazy wife – crazy life! But that’s not necessarily the case in my experience.
See, you’re in this thing forever (marriage, that is). Calling your wife crazy and deeming yourself Mr. Perfect will get you nowhere, as you’re pointing fingers here and clearing yourself of all blame.
But let me tell you something, mister. You’re half to blame for your wife’s issues.
Who’s the one too busy to text her back because he doesn’t have time for chit chat (as if you’re the only one with a job)?
Who’s the one who forgets about the ONE thing she specifically asked you to pick at the grocery store (which she needs in order to make YOU a delicious meal)?
Who’s the one who can go to bed and just doze off while three issues are hanging over your heads, while your wife is begging you to talk it through in order to sleep soundly?
So before you start calling your wife crazy, start noticing a pattern of behavior that you helped instigate, and take your share of the blame. Nobody just decides to wreak havoc on your life. ESPECIALLY not your wife.
This is a woman who’s been trying so damn hard to make the entire life you’ve created together work and keep herself from bursting at the seams!
Instead of calling yourself a good guy for ”putting up with her,” roll up your sleeves and give her the attention she truly needs.
Do you want her to be the way she used to be? Do you desperately want to avoid couples counseling?
Then be ready to actually listen to her to understand and care for her the way you promised you would in your vows.
It’s time to roll up your sleeves and help her be the best wife she can be. It all starts with YOU and this is how you make it work.
1. Don’t call her crazy
As you can probably guess, being called crazy doesn’t rub ANYONE the right way.
If you want to have the best wife ever, perhaps it’s time for some positive feedback instead of derogatory name-calling? Good luck getting anywhere if you keep naming names.
Calling her your crazy wife only puts her more on edge and that way, nobody really wins.
Don’t allow her to develop mental health problems just because she’s expected to be okay with incessant putdowns. Be mindful of what comes out of your mouth.
Words leave deeper wounds than you might think.
The whole goal should be to pull your wife closer and to make her feel more appreciated and at ease. That’s how you’ll get to the bottom of what’s bothering her.
Calling your spouse crazy is counter-effective to what you’re trying to accomplish.
Words stay with her for a very long time, so change your attitude toward her and never call her a crazy person again. She’s your wife, not your annoying narcissist of a neighbor.
2. Remain the rational partner
In a marriage, it’s all about partnership. Arguments will break out, you’ll start bickering, and harsh words will be said.
It’s going to be really challenging trying to keep a cool head throughout the whole thing, but since you know you have a bit of a crazy wife, YOU are going to have to be the rational partner here.
One of you needs to keep cool and defuse the situation when things get overly heated. In this instance, you’re going to have to put on your big-boy pants and step up.
Take care of your wife in a way that she needs you to.
Your responsibility as a husband is to try and find a resolution to issues when your wife is unable to. It’s perfectly normal that you both get frustrated and get short with each other.
But one of you has to be the adult here, and that’s you. Stop ranting and bitching about her to your friends. That’s a coward’s way out.
Talk to her instead – don’t leave the house and slam the door in her face. Stick around and show her that you CARE.
Giving up and leaving is all too easy, but that’s not what you signed up for when you married her.
You promised to be there for her in good times and bad, so prove it by being the voice of reason when all you want to do is slam the door.
3. Remind yourself why you married her in the first place
When the going gets tough and the world knocks you down, take a walk down memory lane and remind yourself of all the reasons why you fell in love with her.
Think back on your beginnings and every single thing she did that made you say ”Yup, she’s the one for me. That’s my girl!”
I find it the most effective method to deal with my relationship problems when I foolishly start thinking I’ve reached the end line.
I just start to reminisce about all the things that made me fall in love with my man in the first place…
The way he won me over despite me being extremely reluctant to let my guard down. The way his dry humor made me laugh my ass off more than I wanted to allow myself.
The way he’d give me his hoodie when I was cold and tweet out the most cheesy (yet adorably sweet) things about me… Trust me, I could go on and on!
Bottom line – there are SO many reasons why you’re married to this woman. Calling her your crazy wife is completely undeserving.
She may be struggling right now, but there was a time when she was your rock and number one supporter. Don’t you think it’s time to return the favor?
4. Don’t be a bystander in your marriage
One of the worst things you can do is just fade away in the background and mentally block all the issues in your marriage.
And that’s wrong on multiple levels. Firstly, it resolves nothing and only makes you distance yourself from your wife at a time when she needs you the most.
And secondly, it’s hurtful to leave her hanging when you know she’d never leave your side.
Don’t just be a bystander in your own relationship. Take initiative and find ways to actively deal with your crazy wife.
There’s a reason why she’s always nagging at you and having jealous outbursts. You won’t find out what it is by observing from a safe distance and leaving her to her own devices.
Be a man and take care of your marital problems. Be a husband and help your wife find her way again.
Be a decent human being and don’t ignore a person during their most challenging times.
Watching your life pass you by will backfire at some point. Don’t waste these precious years by choosing to passively observe your wife’s journey toward oblivion.
Make her snap out of it by doing your part in this marriage.
This is your wife after all. She deserves more than just a husband who refuses to get his hands dirty and fades away in the background. Stay on the front line and fight for your wife.
5. Try to find the root of the problem
When did she start behaving in an unusual manner? When was the first time you started noticing changes in her behavior that started worrying you?
I’m sure you didn’t always have a crazy wife. She must’ve been fine before and then something clicked and it all changed.
The most important thing is to figure out what’s bothering her and in what way you’ve contributed to this. Do you not text her enough, therefore leaving her worried about your whereabouts?
Do you have a habit of staying out late at night without checking in with her at all?
Have you been neglecting her for work and totally forgot about your weekend plans on more than one occasion? It could be all of these combined!
You’d be surprised how much those seemingly small things really matter to a woman.
Forgetting to call her back, missing your anniversary dinner, neglecting your quality time together all contribute to a neglected, unhappy wife who has been holding it together for as long as she could.
And now, she can no longer stand constantly playing second fiddle to your work, friends, or whatever else, and she’s turned into someone she doesn’t want to be.
Accept your role in this and fix what needs fixing!
6. Share your feelings without holding back
Do you want to know what women REALLY love in a man? The ability to be open and honest about their feelings without letting all that macho crap hold them back from being genuine.
Are you able to share your feelings with your wife?
When was the last time you had an open conversation where you let it all out without holding anything back? I know it’s hard to open up, but this is your wife, not some stranger. You’re safe with her!
Being transparent and genuine lets you share even the things you wouldn’t normally be comfortable sharing, and that’s what helps you resolve issues without using harsh words.
Tell her how her behavior makes you feel and show her you want to understand where this is coming from.
Don’t use accusatory tone but rather be calm and collected while conveying your thoughts in a manner that will show her that her behavior is affecting your marriage negatively.
If you meet her halfway, I assure you she’ll accept your olive branch and deal with this better.
She just needs to feel seen and heard by you! Sometimes a little positive feedback is all a girl needs.
7. Listen to understand (not to retaliate)
Dealing with a crazy wife isn’t easy, so I don’t expect you to always be able to keep it together and never lash out.
But even though it’s normal to lose your cool every now and again, try to really listen to your wife in a way where you’re focused on what she’s trying to tell you and not in a way where you wait your turn to retaliate.
Picking fights is easy, but understanding the root of them is difficult. Next time she’s being irrational, try to truly hear her out.
If she’s yelling about you always staying suspiciously long at work, let her know that you’ll do your best to come home in time for dinner with her, and actually do it!
Whatever she’s going off about, HEAR it and try to accommodate her needs. Is she really being crazy or is she simply asking you to consider her feelings but not putting it in the best way?
Once you stop retaliating and start hearing what she’s trying to tell you, your marriage will start thriving, because people often forget that communication is key.
8. Establish some ground rules
Now that you’ve finally started listening to your wife as opposed to blocking her out and refusing to take your part of the blame, you finally have a shot at making this work.
Now is the time to set some ground rules that will prohibit either one of you from lashing out in times of difficulty and instead resort to a better solution.
Have a conversation about this with your wife and decide what those rules should be and their end goal.
I’m presuming that your end goal is to stop having a crazy wife by helping her get better, and her end goal is to finally feel heard and understood. Both are reasonable and attainable.
So now would be the time to practice what you preach. If you’re all about weeding out the negativity and embracing healthy coping tactics, then, by all means, implement them in your daily life.
This goes for both of you. When she starts feeling the urge to yell or accuse you of something, she should be reminded to dial it down and respect the boundaries you’ve set, and the same goes for you.
Let your newfound limitations help snap you out of toxic habits and turn you into better, healthier, and happier human beings.
Hopefully, this article has provided you with some much-needed answers and an insight into the female brain that can cause her to act in a way detrimental to everyone’s well-being.
You may have thought that you had a crazy wife, but the reality is: it takes two to tango!
The things causing her to act crazy are usually the things that you have something to do with as well.
You can’t expect to have the best wife on the planet without doing your part to make her feel the way she deserves.
And now, you see what I mean. Talking to her instead of dodging her is the way to go.
Finding the middle ground and embracing your part of the guilt is one step closer toward a resolution. And step it up when she can’t, because marriage is a partnership.
Both partners aren’t always going to be able to give it their all, so step up your game when your wife is struggling.
Give her the benefit of the doubt, because once she’s better, she’ll never forget what you’ve done for her.
You can’t always expect it to be smooth sailing, but with a little bit of effort, you can get pretty darn close!