You love your wife with your whole heart but you just feel like the spark has gone from the bedroom? You want to know if it is possible to bring it back and how? How to get your wife in the mood?
Yes, of course, it’s possible. The most important thing is that the love is still there. All other things and issues can be solved.
Lovemaking is important in all romantic relationships in many ways. It’s not just that we have that physical enjoyment but it also forms a stronger and deeper bond between those two people.
The problem is actually that a lot of guys don’t think about what women want in the bedroom. I’m sorry but the truth is that most guys can be pretty selfish when it comes to making love.
Because of their many obligations around the house, their job and kids, women can lose that desire and that can create some problems in their marriage.
Still, that doesn’t have to be the reason for growing apart from your wife or, even worse, for ending your marriage.
Healthy communication and great understanding from both partners are two things that will get you through this period in your marriage and help you save it.
You’ll just need to spice up some things in your relationship (and in the bedroom, of course). Now, if you want to know how to get your wife in the mood, read the efficient steps below.
Emotional connection is everything
Yes, intimacy and that physical contact are really important for every healthy relationship but the most important thing is being emotionally connected.
What does that mean? Well, it means that your partner needs to be sure of your feelings, they need to be sure that your bond is still there, strong and deep as always.
They need to know that they can completely trust you and that you’ll be there for them in every single moment.
After they spend a long period of time together, two people can really begin to communicate telepathically.
That’s what you need. You need to get in your wife’s heart and mind. You have to know how to read her feelings and thoughts.
If you don’t think that you are emotionally connected or if something happened that disturbed that emotional connection, there are many ways you can develop it again.
The most important things in rebuilding that emotional connection between you are listening to your spouse and showing her understanding.
Listen to her needs and show understanding
Don’t talk to her and bother her with, “What’s happening with you?” or, “What’s wrong with you?” questions. Trust me, you won’t find out anything this way, nor will it make the situation better.
On the contrary, you might actually make the situation even worse. Nothing is wrong with her so that’s the worst question you can ask her.
There are many things going on in her life and maybe she’s just got tired of all of it.
Periods, pregnancies, childbirth, menopause; there are so many changes in a woman’s life and they all leave some kinds of consequences.
The only thing you can ask her is how she is and then sit down and listen. Of course, that’s if she feels comfortable opening up to you and if she doesn’t, don’t push her.
Give her some time to think about it herself and she’ll talk to you when she’s ready.
If she does open up to you about some things that are bothering her, don’t just nod your head like you are only pretending that you’re listening and also, don’t start giving her advice on what she should do and so interrupt her.
If you think you have the right advice for her to help her, you can say it to her but be brief and let her continue talking again.
If she starts crying while she’s talking, hug her and tell her that she shouldn’t worry about anything because you’re there for her.
The important thing is that she always knows she has your unlimited support.
Tell her how much you love her and how much she means to you
When was the last time you told your spouse that you love her? Is it really that hard to say those three words, “I love you,” every day?
Maybe she does know it but she needs to be continuously reminded of that because your love is her biggest motivation, her greatest inspiration. It’s simply something that keeps her moving.
Go back in the past to the moment you two first met. Tell her how you felt that first time you saw her, the first time you kissed or the first time you told her that you loved her.
Mention that you appreciate her and that you’re so thankful for everything she does for you and your family every day.
Tell her that you just love the way she takes care of the kids, the house, her job and everything else she does.
She’s not just your romantic partner, she is also your best friend and she needs to know that.
Compliment her in a way she won’t be able to resist
Guys, you have to know that sweet and genuine compliments are always welcome. If they don’t help you, they definitely won’t make things worse either.
Your woman needs to know that you are still attracted to her.
She dresses up nicely and puts on her make-up just for you and she needs to know that you still see her as the most beautiful woman in the world.
You have to compliment your wife every day.
And don’t just give her compliments based on her physical looks, you have to compliment her personality, intellect, behavior, the relationships with her loved ones and so on.
Compliment even her imperfections and flaws and tell her that she is perfect for you just the way she is and that you fell in love with all of her.
Flirt with her like you’re still dating
Do you remember how everything was easier and more exciting while you two were dating? You were always up for some adventures and you just couldn’t get enough of each other.
Well, you can remind yourself of those times when you’d just started dating and you can seduce one another again. Flirt with your spouse like you are teenagers again.
Start from the beginning. Just pretend that you two have just met.
Approach her and tell her something sweet and romantic, like, for example, “My name is… Can you please call an ambulance for me? I think that something is wrong with my eyes because I just can’t take them off you.”
Leave some romantic notes all over the house. You can leave them in her wardrobe or on her desk or any place in your home that you know she’ll find it.
While you’re walking on the street, get close to her and gently take her hand. Holding hands in public is something most women consider very romantic.
When she dresses up for work, your date, dinner with your friends or some other occasion, grab her hand, look her directly in her eyes, tell her how beautiful she is and kiss her hand.
Send her flirty text messages in the middle of the day. Text her to say how you can’t wait to get home from work and spend the night with the most amazing and beautiful woman in the world.
Don’t call her by her name while you’re speaking to her.
Think of some cute and romantic nicknames for her, like princess, sunshine, baby, beauty, sweetie or gorgeous or use any other nickname you think is perfect for your loving wife.
Plan a romantic date night
You need to bring back the spark in your relationship and the best way to start with that is by preparing a nice and romantic date for you two.
Do something that will surpass everything you have for her till now. Prepare her favorite meal and serve it for dinner.
Put rose petals all over the room, open up a bottle of her favorite wine and enjoy an evening with the love of your life.
Recreating your first date is probably one of the most romantic date night ideas. Remind your wife why she fell in love with you.
There are so many other ideas for a romantic date, such as dinner under the stars, cocktails on the beach, dinner at your favorite restaurant with some musicians where you can pay for them to sing a special song to her.
You just need to find a date that’s suitable for both of you.
She deserves to be spoiled
Think about everything she does for you every single day and you never hear her complain about it, right? That’s why she deserves to be spoiled.
She is the only woman in your life and the most important person in your life and she needs to know it. She needs to know how appreciated she is. You need to remind her of that every single moment.
You can take care of the kids for a whole day and let her have that day to go to the spa, have a massage, go shopping or do anything else that will relax her.
Set up a romantic bath for her
A nice bubble bath is the best way to relax after a very exhausting day; that’s how you can help your wife relax and recharge her batteries.
Prepare a romantic bubble bath just for her. Put on her favorite song or some relaxing music.
You can buy some essential oils (maybe her favorite scent) and put some in the water or leave it somewhere close to the bathtub.
Bring in a bottle of her favorite drink and pour it for her. Leave candles and rose petals on the floor of the bathroom.
If you really make an effort and create a romantic and relaxing atmosphere, who knows, maybe your wife will invite you to join her in the bathtub.
Learn to speak her love language
We already know you love your wife but you also feel that you’re not on the same page when it comes to your intimacy.
I’m going to share some information with you, assuming you don’t already know it, which can help you with your love life.
I didn’t make up this advice just like that. Love language is a real thing and we all have one.
Actually, as Dr. Gary Chapman explains, there are five love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time and physical touch.
We’ll explain each of those and your only job is to read and understand what your wife’s love language is. It’ll definitely help you with flirting and seducing her and also in understanding her needs.
If your wife appreciates the most when you express your feelings with words, then her language is definitely words of affirmation.
You’ll just have to compliment her more often and express your feelings with words.
Or, if you really want to sweep her off her feet, you can write her a romantic love song, a love letter or something similar where you’ll be able to express your feelings.
Contrary to that one, there is also a love language called acts of service. If your spouse doesn’t believe in words that aren’t followed by actions, then this is hers.
In this case, you’ll have to express and prove your feelings by doing some romantic things and planning surprises for your better half.
Planning a romantic date or a weekend getaway or refusing to go out with your buddies just to spend time with her is the right way for you to prove to your wife how much you love her.
There are some women who like to be surprised with romantic gifts and that’s how they know their partner appreciates and loves them.
They speak the love language of receiving gifts and you can simply show your wife your feelings by buying her something nice or surprising her without any reason.
If your wife always demands to be your main priority and if she wants to be the center of your attention, then her primary language is called quality time.
If you want to show her that you’re still in love with her, you’ll just have to cancel your plans and dedicate more time to her.
The last one is called physical touch. These people don’t believe in expressing love with words, gifts or surprises.
Instead, physical contact is really important to them because they only feel safe and loved when they’re in their partner’s arms.
Discuss your intimacy issues
Before you make any move, you have to communicate about your intimacy. Ask her how she feels and if there is anything she doesn’t like in your marriage, something that should be changed in her opinion.
Ask her if she is really pleased with your romantic life or if she would want to change anything about it.
Maybe you’re the one who is doing something wrong but she hasn’t wanted to speak about it because she didn’t want to hurt your feelings.
As I’ve already said, women go through so many physical, mental and hormonal changes during their lives.
One of the reasons she might seem distant in the bedroom is that she isn’t pleased with her looks or she thinks you aren’t.
Maybe she is ashamed of her weight or cellulite or any other part of her looks that she might consider unattractive.
Prolong the foreplay
For most women, foreplay is even more important than the pure act of lovemaking. That’s when your deepest and most honest feelings emerge.
You should always keep this in mind because if you skip foreplay or if it’s too short, that could be the reason why your wife suddenly isn’t in the mood for the next part.
You probably know what are some moves that can turn your wife on and you should include those in your foreplay.
There are a lot of ways you can prolong and improve the foreplay. Still, you need to find one that will be okay for both of you.
Try to use some new things in your bedroom, things that will refresh and improve that part of your love life. For example, you can try some foreplay games or new techniques.
If your wife agrees to try something new, order some costumes from Amazon and let the games in your bedroom begin. Heat up your love life in a fun way.
Treat your lady by being a true gentleman
You have to keep your manners in all situations. Your wife is a lady, right? Then she deserves to have a gentleman by her side.
Do some regular little things for her. Be chivalrous. Open the door for her, give her your jacket if it’s cold, pull out a chair for her and so on.
Let her make the first move when she feels ready for it. Don’t initiate anything first. When you flirt with her, avoid flirting in a dirty way because that’s not chivalrous and most women actually don’t like it.
It’s good to evoke your inner ‘bad boy’ sometimes in the bedroom but there are some boundaries that need to be respected even behind closed doors.
The small things matter the most
So, how to get your wife in the mood? What’s the biggest turn-on for women? It’s very simple; you just have to pay attention to the simple things because those things matter the most.
Seduce your woman and make her fall in love with you again. You should never allow her to go to bed without telling her how much you love her.
Yes, we all have a million obligations every day but that’s no reason to neglect our loved one. Love has to always be our top priority.
If your wife has grown apart from you lately and if the spark has really gone from the bedroom, the last thing you should consider is ending your marriage.
That can all be fixed with time and conversation. Please have patience and understanding for your loving wife.